Tuesday, September 19, 2006

"They got me trapped"-Tupac


Master Peguese Portiere

This is my first installment on the Salvador Gabor Project but Sallimo has been a great friend of mine for years and is letting me use his platform to educate/state my opinion on the topic of marriage. The year is 2006 and the dynamics of marriage have changed. Over half of marriages end in divorce with many of those siting infidelity as the cause of the breakup. I’ve had conversations with many of my male friends about “jumping out the window” just to get a feel about what the consensus is among young professional black men. Out of the young married men I know....about 50% of them cheat on their wives. And not just a fling here or there, I mean having full on relationships. Going on vacations, out to dinners, Valentine’s cards, Thanksgiving visits, etc. WILD, WILD, WILD. These niggas is lunchin’. It’s obvious these guys don’t need to be hitched. So why did they even get married?

Top Reasons why niggas that don’t need to get married get married

1) To shut her up…..Most men DO NOT want to hear their woman’s mouth. So whatever we can do to quiet them we’ll do. We are stupid enough to think “Well, I’ma marry her anyway so what the hell”. Pressure busts pipes.

2) Thinking that marriage is gonna change them…..This is a big misconception that some men have. They think that if they are married that some how magic dust is sprinkled on them and women will not pursue them and they will not have the desire to pursue. “WRONG, WRONG”-Charlie Murphy. Slim, from what I hear it gets even worst. Some women like married men because its taboo to get with one. Some women like a man that is married because it shows that they can be committed. I don’t know and will not even try to figure out a woman but I do know that a ring. If he was going at joant before he got married then he gonna be going at them while he’s married. He just got some extra bling to catch their eyes now.

3) “We aint getting no younger…….if that aint a bunch of cow cookies I don’t know what is. Dudes that think this don’t get a detailed response, just slap their kofi off and keep it moving. But lemme get this straight….So because you aren’t getting younger you’re gonna get married. I know what it is…..there must be a law that says you can’t be older than “blank” to get married. No, there’s no such law, WOW. There goes that theory. The fact that you and your mate aren’t getting younger has nothing to do with getting married. It’s apples and oranges baby.

4) “She’s been there". SO WHAT. If you want someone to be there and that’s loyal then buy a dog. If she’s been there through the good and bad that’s cool but you have to make sure that your feelings remain the same. Feelings change sometimes but don’t hang on to the fact that she’s been there as a reason to stay. You must be able retain your happiness because if you aren’t happy with the relationship you WILL NOT be happy in a marriage.

Look, I’m nobody and will not tell anyone how to run their life but at least think about the major steps you have in life. Marriage is probably the biggest one so don’t treat that decision lightly. If you still running the streets but got a good woman at home know that you’re wrong and you are doing a disservice to her. Be an adult and recognize your faults. As a man you have to come into the mind frame of being married. It is something that just has to hits you one day. Don’t let anyone or anything make that decision for you but you. Make that choice and own up to it.

Now playa to playa, pimp to pimp, I’ma tell ya what the old school niggas have taught me. The way I was taught was to do your thing whatever it is, be it faithful or not but ALWAYS take care of home first. If you have a family that depends on you take care of your responsibilities first and foremost. Your outside life, whether it is a Thursday night bowling league or a stripper named Chocolate, should never interfere with your duties. Be there for your kids first day of school or to hear your wife complain about Tasha with the bad tracks that be late everyday at work. Be a man and take care of that. What you might find out is that you won’t have time for a side piece.

I know people are gonna read this and be like “This nigga here…” but I don’t care. I’m speaking real talk. It’s hard out here and the devil is everywhere. The average man is gonna slip up every once in awhile. Jesus was the only man that lived without sin. I'm not saying to fall under temptation but know that if you do, you’re doing wrong. Do what makes YOU happy. If you wanna get married and cheat then do that. As long as you are truly happy with living that type of life and understand the consequences then HEY, its time to party baby, "where the freaks at". I just got one question for you “Is ya Happy”!!!!

For more information, hate mail or death threats, Dr. Master Portiere can be contacted at (202) 491-7057