Friday, July 21, 2006

Crabfeasts Gone Wild, Volume 1
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Crabfeasts Gone Wild is part of the newest DVD collection being brought to you by the Stink Johnson Entertainment Group in association with Millionaires in Slippers Productions. This spectacular DVD set just dives right into summertime with an all access look at cookouts & crabfeasts and how they get down, dirty, and flat out riggity raw. The first video of your box set features the George-Mixon Family Reunion & Crabfeast of 2004.

The George-Mixon Family Reunion & Crabfeast is a family reunion, and really just a place for singles and halfway single people to hookup. Gangsta Mike Ritchie and Keneesha Mixon are shown above when the hooking up really starts to go down, after most the grandmothers have gone in. Gangsta Mike is neither a George or a Mixon, but he came with his good buddy James George who is both a Mixon and a George (despite his dual family ties this doesn't stop him from possible 3rd cousin-removed hookups, as you will see in this feature's 28th minute.) The two are seen playing a game of Russian Bobcat, basically you take shots and make that cat-hisssing noise for a minute straight.

Things got tricky once Keneesha flipped that bang up in the front of her head. There were naked charades, and the 7-member game of hide-n-go-seek in Wanda's big basement. Only removed cousins were remaining at this point, oh and Regine & Darrell were there, but they are swingers, and Darrell's only related to the George side through his 1st marriage. It went down that day, and the basement smelled to prove it. This first collection also includes the cd of the soundtrack featuring Rare Essence's "The Freaks Come Out at Night", and "Don't Look Back" by The Group Duquette. I have put the lyrics below for your sing--along pleasure.

Don't look back,
just give it here
I got something to say, but I only want your ear,
girl stay right there
I'm just gonna lean back in this chair
I just wanna tell you
You got some nappy back hair

Don't look back
just give it here, give it here
I just want to show you
that something's in the air
but first we getting in the shower
I wanna make you moan and wail
Got to wash you off baby
because your back ear smells like your tail

This soundtrack can be found at

Thursday, July 06, 2006

As many of you have noticed, we haven't been "at it" as usual. But that should be changing back to normal soon. This site is maintained by 3 individuals. I ("Salvador Gabor") tend to contribute the most articles but, my 2 partners ("Reggie" and "Gartrelle") also contribute great work. Up until recently, we have received all positive responses on our work. But one article recently raised some eyebrows "Look its a Bent"

We don't take the comments personally but, Gartrelle felt he shouldn't "Let it ride", so the following is his response to the comments. Now, if you "get in your feelings", reconsider posting negative comments. Until then........

"Mommy, Can I Ride In the Front? Pleeease."
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.

Maybe it's just in MY mind, but it seems that I've touched a nerve here. Da all time winner of the 4th annual butt Thumper competition has a special affinity for Chrysler 300's. Who knew? Well King Thumper, may I call you Sasha? I find it interesting that people are so quick to defend their MOTHER'S choice of Transportation. From the response, it appears that you are still attached to and swinging from mommy's teet. But that's cool because I hear that rabbit milk is very nutritious. Now when your mother rides past me and points at the alleged bird droppings on my door handles, were you a scrub hanging out the passenger side? Or were you in the backseat buckled in your car seat? I'm willing to bet that you were sipping a juice box and snacking on some animal crackers. (Wipe the crumbs off your bib.)

And were you in the back singing along to Heather Headley? Ironic that the song she's listening too is about a chick who gets dumped by a man but "she'll always be his lady." Judging from your blog Sounds like your momma is always gonna be your lady because you're scared to leave her. You probably still live at home with mommy sleeping on a twin bed with Superman sheets. Don't wet the bed, Sasha. "Mommy, can you turn on my night light? I'm scared."

Now as for my vehicle of choice. A Catera? That's funny, bunny. I drive a Deville (one of three cars that I own), a big car for a grown man. But don't worry about what I'm driving, come holla at me, here's $13.50, that should cover your bus fare for the week.

To my little internet minority model friends, instead of "faking it until you make it" how about you admire it until you acquire it. Everybody wanna be a star, don't wanna be who they are. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and keep up with the Dow Jones.

Since y'all like to buy replica cars, (wait a minute, you didn't buy one, y'all are just defending OTHER people that did) let me be the first to hip you to the bootleg Rolls Royce Phantom, The Imperial, made by who else? Chrysler.

Chrysler: The Payless Shoe Store of the Automotive Industry

To my man Sasha Thumper, have fun on Planet Lovetron, tell the Queen I said "Get me." and tell mommy that for $350 she could have avoided the embarrassment that is you.