Friday, March 31, 2006

Personals
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.



Today we are helping out our lonely brethren by the 2's. There's nothing wrong with being polite, and treating a woman like she wants to be treated, but you can't always let them know that before you meet them. Let's meet 2 of the most affectionate holding-hands, nose-rubbing, and 2 of the most ticklish niggas in Alabama.

Anthiny & Carl Whitney are 2 young educated brothrs looking for love in all the wrong places. Both are graduates of Tuskegee Anthiny has a master's in English Literature, and Carl a B.S. in Electrical Engineering. Despite their education they can't seem to come up on some loving.

One Tuskegee summer, the twins were attending summer school, in a hope to maybe find a couple of friendly freshmen twins looking for romance, and a love of B.B. King. However what they came across was a coniving heavy-handed softball player named Katweeda James. Now 'Tweeda thought she was a bit of a player. She thought she could have any man and anything she wanted. Check the pose and you'll know what I mean.



'Tweeda spotted the boys as soon as she set foot on campus. She was at Tuskegee for the summer taking some classes, to try to being her GPA up in order to return to Shaw University to to play softball. 'Tweeda had an appetite for sex, much like her appetite for baby back ribs, aggressive. She caught Carl coming out of one of his summer calculus classes and she knew she had to have him. They exchanged numbers, and made a date for Friday. Here's the catch, she told them her cousin went there and they looked a little alike and her name was K. Trying to cover her back like a Mississippi snail.

She later caught Anthiny in a secluded location and got his digits. The single-elimination double dating began. Ole 'Tweeda had these niggas running to their grandma for money to spend on her. It wasnt pretty, because both twins were so wrapped up in Katweeda they didn't even realize they were dating the same girl. This almost caused a rif in the family until Carl caught 'Tweeda and Anthiny coming out of Dairy Queen. He had no doubt that it was her, because 'Tweeda had an affinity for double chocolate moose cookies and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Carl was none too tickled about this and confronted 'Tweeda. He was so hot he almost cussed, "And to think I was going to give you my Grandmomma's recipe for Dutch Cabbage!", he said. The twins poured ice cream on her and simultaneously said, "You dern 2-timing hussy!"

It was a good thing they never sexed 'Tweeda, but bad at the same time. The twins haven't loved a woman since, well we think Anthiny had sex in '98 with a metermaid named Kintarsha but we aint sure. We know they are looking for sex now. They have changed underwear to maximize their sprem count, started wearing name brand cologne, and stopped shopping in the husky section. They are still ticklish, and in need of a date, 2-timers need not apply. Call us at 301-455-3534 if you don't mind hearing a grown man laugh like a baby, napping in a hammock, or having his grandmomma call him at 5:30am to check the weather where he lives (only 2clicks from her house, but they got different news