Thursday, January 12, 2006

"2006 PERSONALS"
By Salvador Gabor




Clyde "Big Stank" Tolliver has been considered as a chocolate morsel to many low-class and low self-esteemed and no self-esteemed women across the seven cities area in middle Virginia. From Newport News to Suffolk to Portsmouth, he was known for his suave moves on the dance floor and in the bedroom. But since moving north to Washington, D.C., "Big Stank" isn't getting the love he once was overflowed with in and around Route 64.

Since moving to the nation's capital, he has been experiencing rejection after rejection. His routine "Hi my name is Clyde but you can call me 'Big Stank' and Im a Capricorn" hasn't rubbed the women in D.C. the right way. Speaking of rubbing the right way, he tends to rub his belly when he is attracted to women. Basically "Big Stank" has alot of work to do on adjusting to the Big City Life. Any women desperate enough to contact "Big Stank", please do so. He is the first client that we have had that we are THIS happy to see go.

Just for information purposes........"Big Stank" shops at Dillard's, Harold Pener, Cavalier and Oaktree. He also likes Raspberry Milkshakes and wearing Sandles with Chinese Collared Dress Suits. He prefers skinny ties and pants that "let out in the back". He likes to eat at IHOP on first dates and Golden Corral once he becomes more comfortable with eating several plates in front of his woman. He is a part-time manager at Shoney's and recently diversified his portfolio by investing in Stuckey's convenience stores.

Please call "Big Stank" at (301) 455-3534

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"BIDNESS TO TAKE CARE OF"
By Salvador Gabor




Greetings. My name is Duval.......Clarence Latrell Duval, III but Im also known as "Peaches". Im here to voice an opportunity to all young women looking to venture out into Adult Services. Now Now, no need to fear, thats just Madupe' standing behind me. Madupe' is my Ugandan bodyguard. A fly young nigga like myself has to walk softly and carry a big stick to keep niggas up off me, ya underdig? And when my stick aint near.....Madupe' is here.

Ladies, come one, come all........and give the fellas a chance to have a ball. Have you been questioning your sexuality? Do you feel needed or a lack thereof? There's nothing like a short skirt and stiletto's that will make every man want you. AND.....you get paid in the process. Of course with portions of the proceeds going to me and.......big brother Madupe'. Come fulfill your fantasies and lift self esteem of you and others and you strut your stuff and bring in dollars for the family.

Yes, Duval's Adult Services is a fine establishment and a family for many women living under their sexual and financial expectations. For those interested, please call me.......Clarence Latrell Duval, III @ (301) 455-3534. If it's after 9:00 P.M., ask for "Peaches".

One love....the darker the peach....the farther we reach. Shalom


BLAST FROM THE PAST:

* CHRISTMAS GIFTS

* NEWS & NOTES

* BLACK MOTHERS

* BLACK OLIVE MAN OF THE YEAR 2004

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS.........."
By Salvador Gabor




Its a CELEBRATION!

This week marks the 2-Year Anniversary of what we know as "The Salvador Gabor Project"

January 9th, 2004 marked the creation of this site. January 12th, 2004 marked the first official posting on the site.

For the rest of the week we will take a look down memory lane at the first two years. But before we do anything, lemme get my "Thank You's" out of the way.

Gotta Thank:

* Jerome Baker III!! This is the man who motivated me to do this writing thing on the Blog level. As always "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

* Gotta thank all the other bloggers and webpage owners who show me love.

* Gotta thank Rayful Edmond cause if it were not for all you people in DC searching for his name on the internet, yall wouldn't have found my page.

* Shout out to Joemarr, T-Mac, Kojak and all the other homies who always push my site to their friends and co-workers to keep my "hits" per day rate on the up and up.

* Two fingers in the air for all the "BUNK", ghetto and raunchy folks I run into, know or despise that are my motivation for my writings. Keep it "BUNK" in 2006.

* One love to all the folks that send emails and comments too. I haven't gotten a bad one yet. Alot of love for all you people!

* One time for TAG Magazine. I have an article in an issue from 2005.

* BIG UP to my guest writers: Reggie Dinkins, Jr., Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire, Lonnie "Ice" Kolberg, Bill Cashmere and EEzy Duz It and others who have come on and said a word or two.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: A big THANK YOU to the 35,000 visitors that we have had over the past 2 years

BLAST from the PAST: The following are articles from the past 2 years

"THE DAY YOU FOUND OUT"

"GREETINGS FROM THE LIGHTSKIN NIGGA CONVENTION"

"MIND YOUR OWN MARKET"

"A MIGHTY LONG WAY"

"THIS WEEK IN BOWLEGGED MAGAZINE"

"LEAVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD/A NEW G.I.G."

Monday, January 09, 2006

Sal's Corner
"PARK IT"


Today we have to address an interesting subject. PARKING. Parking is essential to life. If you wanna go ANYWHERE you have to park once you get there. And you cant do ANYTHING before you park. So today we will go into several examples and instances of how parking effects us

I. PROPER PRONOUNCIATION:

"PARKS" - This is not the way you address your lack of a parking space. "It aint no PARKS around here". The only "PARKS" I know are the ones where your kids play. But I hear "sophisticated" people talking "Its always hard to find PARKS around here". QUESTION: where did the "S" come from. It's so much easier to say "Where is a PARKING SPACE?"

II. TYPES OF PARKING SPACES ("PARKS") :

"VALET" - Now fellas, we will drive around for HOURS looking for a space. But if you have the young lady with you, depending on yall situation.......you might wanna drop the $7 fee and put the car in the garage. If you are young and you're just starting out and you gotta "bucket" and its cold, drop the $7 so you aint gotta warm up the car for 35 minutes after the 12:20 A.M. movie showing. Now its like 2:00 A.M when yall leave. You out in the street till 2:35 warming up the BUICK. Naw just go ahead and drop that $7 if you got the lady with you

"METERS" - You might have to go to he DMV. You may have to go see your lawyer. Who knows. But meters can be tricky. You only gotta quarter. ONE quarter and you gotta go stand in that Credit Union line and you KNOW 15 minutes of time on a meter aint gonna cut it WHATSOEVER. But we "try our hand". And then we have to wave that SAME hand furiously to get the "Meter Maid's" attention not to write us a ticket 45 minutes later!

"RESIDENTIAL" PART I - You have to always be weary of this. Fellas this will determine if you go to see a young lady or not based on where she lives and if you can park there. If you hear "Yeah baby I live on 125th & Lenox", that might not a good sign. You come back outside and its a bunch of niggas wit Red Bandana's on, sitting on your BUICK. And you dont wanna tell em to move. "Hey I gotta warm my car up for 35 minutes anyway so yall aight."

"RESIDENTIAL" PART II - You got some folks, especially old Cadillac owners who might put cones up to reserve their space. Or the ones who sit ON the porch to make sure the kids dont play football in front of their car. "GO ON in front of YA MAMMA house and THO' that ball." (CAUTION: its never THROW its always THO').

III. PEOPLE AND PARKING

"EXPERTS" - Don't you hate when that EXPERT is in the car with you. The one who says "You need to park this car again". Like it's their car! Or the ones who volunteer to get out and help you steer the car in the space. And they revert back to ancient hand signals from driving classes in the 1600's. It makes you wanna ask "WAS NAT TURNER in your driving class?". JUST tell me "STOP" and "COME BACK SOME MORE". Im not deaf and I dont know sign language.

"YOU WON'T GET A TICKET" - Its always a NIGGA tryna rush you to get somewhere and they say "Oh you wont get a ticket if you park here". 7 years ago a "friend" of mines said this to me. We came out and I had a ticket. HE shoulda gave me that $50 on spot. And 75% of the times its a nigga that dont have a license or dont drive that says this. OR a nigga who NEVER wants to drive.

"IN THE FRONT" - Nightlife in a big city is hectic. Say you are going to a play or a basketball game or a club or an upscale restaurant. You are NOT gonna get a space RIGHT in front of the arena. WHY drive around circles in that ONE BLOCK Radius. Ladies, im SORRY. I know yall dont like to walk. But after that first month, after the relationship has kicked in.........big homie might not wanna drop that $7 no more in the garage. He gotta used Lexus now, this aint like the BUICK. So he can sit it outside and can pull right off EVEN if its cold. That $7 is now his tip at the restaurant so act right. Dont think he gonna ride around the same block. Just carry some "flats" with you. You might got some walking to do

IV. TYPES OF PARKING STYLES

"THE CLUB PARK" - Now this is a style of parking that veteran "ghetto" club attenders know about. In D.C. it is known as the "GoGo parking". This is done when the driver parks and then before cutting the car off, TURNS the steering wheel ALL THE WAY to the LEFT. THIS is done for easy access OUT of the space in case of a shooting. All you have to do is hit da gas and your car is out of the space.

"THE VOGUE PARK" - If you got them VOGUES, you bet NOT park close to the curb. And if you gotta borrow somebody's car and they got VOGUES, you better just decline on their offer. Better yet they will TELL you. "Dont park this car close to no curbs". Them whitewalls better not be scratched. And because you are so far from the curb, REMEMBER to push the sideview mirror in.

"THE I GOTTA DOO-DOO PARK" - Its a very DISTINCTIVE parking style. You can point out a "I gotta doo-doo" parking style. The back of the car is usually out from the curb more than the front side. This is due to the fact that if your stomach is REALLY griping, you dont have time to parallel park in the proper fashion in which the "EXPERT" would want you too. And if you STILL have that BUICK that you didnt warm up.......its probably cutting off so much that when it idles down during parking, it cuts off in the middle of the parking process. So you basically hop out and your car looks like its DOUBLE PARKED in a space. Sometimes "I gotta doo-doo" parking leads you to end up ON the curb. You dont have time to fix the car's parking position. Your stomach is about to explode. Now to go even deeper, if the back of the car is out more than the front of the car, AND the car is unlocked..........thats a DEFINITE sign of "I gotta doo-doo" parking going on. So the next time you see a car parked like this in your neighborhood, check the car doors. They are probably unlocked. Cause.......your CAR keys are the last keys on your mind, its those HOUSE keys that you bout to break off in the door tryna rush in that got your mind filled.

V. CONCLUSION

Well I hope this was an insightful read. I hope that we shed some light today on parking. We now know how to pronounce what we wanna say when we have to park. We know the types of parking spaces. We have learned who will say what in our cars and how to park other people's cars. And we learned the types of parking styles and how to detect them.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Friday, January 06, 2006



Its 2006, get those juices flowing.

Thursday, January 05, 2006



"GROUP PROJECT"
By Salvador Gabor

Group projects are the best. It gives you an opportunity to work with others. It's a preview of what is to come in life. While in college I never understood these projects. But, if a group is strong, it can be an advantage to do things within a group setting. If the group is NOT strong, it's an opportunity for you to pass on knowledge and also step up and be a leader.

There are many types of people in groups. The first person that surfaces is the "So what are we doing?" person. This is the guy/girl who SAT there and got instructions but, still has NO clue. It takes them some time to figure out what we are doing but, soon enough an assignment within the project is GIVEN TO THEM. We also have "The Delegator". This person might not be the smartest person or the hardest worker but he/she has the ability to schedule meetings and they know something about something as far as the project goes. Then we have the "Why cant I do this on my own?" person. They are smart, they are able to lead the group. They just dont have the patience to bring up the rear. They are afraid that their G.P.A. will fall being surrounded by less studious pupils. Then comes the "Im just tryna get this SH*T done" person. They usually apologize for the language later but he/she is a 27 year old senior with a full-time job and their own housing a ways away from campus. They did NOT drive 10 miles to come BACK to the library at 10:00 P.M. to be joking about the party last Saturday that they DIDNT have any intentions on attending. They were too busy WORKING, if you were too busy drinking to notice their absence.

As a society, it seems as if this African-American community that we live in exists in one of THESE "Group Projects". We have the "WHAT are we doing" people. Those who have no idea of why they even exist. "The Delegator" who represents all of those who beat down our people but never offer their own solution. "Why cant I do this on my own" people make up the majority of the population. They feel that they dont have to represent the community as a whole for those who base an opinion of a million from one. The ones who forgot that they were taught to represent their family when they walk out the house and now as adults represent their race. And then the "Im just tryna get this SH*T done" people, who want to patch together a solution.

In 2006, I hope and pray that our community can move towards creating a better perception for our people. I look forward to seeing those who are doing well being showcased more than the negative connotations that are on the front page of papers across the country every morning. The key to success is "Self Worth". Understanding your role, whether it be little or small. Understanding your potential, whether it be close or far off.

"The pain of staying the same, has to outweigh the pain of change"
-Larry Raskin-


....AND I'll form the HEAD

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

RAMBLIN' FOR JANUARY 4th, 2006



"YO BUTT AINT MADE FOR THAT"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Sal's Corner
"THE WAY"


"THE WAY" is the place where we grew up. Sometimes it can be the place where we hang. It could be both. It could be the PEOPLE that make up the place where you grew up and/or hung. And its ALWAYS niggas that have special qualities that make up "THE WAY"

"AROUND THE WAY" - It's always that one dude that aint never where he supposed to be. "Meet me around the way in 15 minutes". "Oh naw Im at the mall, Im a be around the way in an hour". "I'll be around there about 10:30-10:45". And the infamous "Im headed back now, Im like 5 minutes away", knowing they bout to LEAVE in 5 minutes.

"BY THE WAY" - This is the guy that is the bearer of bad news. "By the way........I took that last condom off your dresser". "Oh yeah, I needed that $5 bill to make up the $10 dollar minimum on the chinese food". His facial expressions make you wanna slap him silly.

"IN THE WAY" - He's the 6th guy that makes up the 3 on 3 game at the court. He is also the guy with the most stupid comments when the car breaks down. He gives what he THINKS are good suggestions. He is a lil worse than "By the way". He never knows any of the people at the events that you are invited to. You really dont wanna take him but, he always seems to call and as much as you say "Im not answering this call"..........you ALWAYS pick up. "So what niggas doing today" and you can NOT lie. The most you can say is "I aint driving...you gotta ask Kevin"

"UP THE WAY" - This is the nigga who is always asked for directions. "Yeah you gotta make a left at the light, go UP THE WAY a piece until you see a Sonoco Gas Station, then go 16 blocks till you get to Monkey Drive. It should be an old man on that block feeding racoons........drive three houses down from him and thats 47568 King Lane". How he KNOWS all these details, who knows. "Up the Way" is always right, you dont know how but trust him.

"ON THE WAY" - It's always a nigga talkin bout "Yeah im bout to go to school". "Im bout to stop dealin' wit all these girls and have one main girl". "I think I need to get back to church more often". Always "ON THE WAY" to doing something. He is worse that "AROUND THE WAY". At least "AROUND THE WAY" eventually gets back from the mall. "ON THE WAY" is always living in a dream or in a comment that he feels will satisfy how you feel about him.

"OUTTA THE WAY" - It's alot of these niggas. Always taking you outta your way or you go outta your way to get them OUTTA trouble. You telling you going South, they ask to drop them off North. You not going East but somehow they wanna get a ride from you going East. THEN got the nerve to say "I hope I aint taking too much of your time". The type to give you $4 for gas money. If you not giving me $10, KEEP it. And if you dont offer at all........get your next ride on that "iron horse". "Outta The Way" will make you already have activities that prevent you from doing a favor for this person when your phone rings. Not being mean but they are the type of people that feel your friendship is based on what you do for them. I don't OWE YOU ANYTHING. We are cool 'cause 9 times outta 10, you are funny or interesting to talk to and/or hang with. But I didn't sign up to be your personal bank, lawyer or driver.


"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"