Tuesday, September 19, 2006

"They got me trapped"-Tupac

By

Master Peguese Portiere


This is my first installment on the Salvador Gabor Project but Sallimo has been a great friend of mine for years and is letting me use his platform to educate/state my opinion on the topic of marriage. The year is 2006 and the dynamics of marriage have changed. Over half of marriages end in divorce with many of those siting infidelity as the cause of the breakup. I’ve had conversations with many of my male friends about “jumping out the window” just to get a feel about what the consensus is among young professional black men. Out of the young married men I know....about 50% of them cheat on their wives. And not just a fling here or there, I mean having full on relationships. Going on vacations, out to dinners, Valentine’s cards, Thanksgiving visits, etc. WILD, WILD, WILD. These niggas is lunchin’. It’s obvious these guys don’t need to be hitched. So why did they even get married?

Top Reasons why niggas that don’t need to get married get married

1) To shut her up…..Most men DO NOT want to hear their woman’s mouth. So whatever we can do to quiet them we’ll do. We are stupid enough to think “Well, I’ma marry her anyway so what the hell”. Pressure busts pipes.

2) Thinking that marriage is gonna change them…..This is a big misconception that some men have. They think that if they are married that some how magic dust is sprinkled on them and women will not pursue them and they will not have the desire to pursue. “WRONG, WRONG”-Charlie Murphy. Slim, from what I hear it gets even worst. Some women like married men because its taboo to get with one. Some women like a man that is married because it shows that they can be committed. I don’t know and will not even try to figure out a woman but I do know that a ring. If he was going at joant before he got married then he gonna be going at them while he’s married. He just got some extra bling to catch their eyes now.

3) “We aint getting no younger…….if that aint a bunch of cow cookies I don’t know what is. Dudes that think this don’t get a detailed response, just slap their kofi off and keep it moving. But lemme get this straight….So because you aren’t getting younger you’re gonna get married. I know what it is…..there must be a law that says you can’t be older than “blank” to get married. No, there’s no such law, WOW. There goes that theory. The fact that you and your mate aren’t getting younger has nothing to do with getting married. It’s apples and oranges baby.

4) “She’s been there". SO WHAT. If you want someone to be there and that’s loyal then buy a dog. If she’s been there through the good and bad that’s cool but you have to make sure that your feelings remain the same. Feelings change sometimes but don’t hang on to the fact that she’s been there as a reason to stay. You must be able retain your happiness because if you aren’t happy with the relationship you WILL NOT be happy in a marriage.

Look, I’m nobody and will not tell anyone how to run their life but at least think about the major steps you have in life. Marriage is probably the biggest one so don’t treat that decision lightly. If you still running the streets but got a good woman at home know that you’re wrong and you are doing a disservice to her. Be an adult and recognize your faults. As a man you have to come into the mind frame of being married. It is something that just has to hits you one day. Don’t let anyone or anything make that decision for you but you. Make that choice and own up to it.

Now playa to playa, pimp to pimp, I’ma tell ya what the old school niggas have taught me. The way I was taught was to do your thing whatever it is, be it faithful or not but ALWAYS take care of home first. If you have a family that depends on you take care of your responsibilities first and foremost. Your outside life, whether it is a Thursday night bowling league or a stripper named Chocolate, should never interfere with your duties. Be there for your kids first day of school or to hear your wife complain about Tasha with the bad tracks that be late everyday at work. Be a man and take care of that. What you might find out is that you won’t have time for a side piece.

I know people are gonna read this and be like “This nigga here…” but I don’t care. I’m speaking real talk. It’s hard out here and the devil is everywhere. The average man is gonna slip up every once in awhile. Jesus was the only man that lived without sin. I'm not saying to fall under temptation but know that if you do, you’re doing wrong. Do what makes YOU happy. If you wanna get married and cheat then do that. As long as you are truly happy with living that type of life and understand the consequences then HEY, its time to party baby, "where the freaks at". I just got one question for you “Is ya Happy”!!!!


For more information, hate mail or death threats, Dr. Master Portiere can be contacted at (202) 491-7057

Friday, July 21, 2006

Crabfeasts Gone Wild, Volume 1
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.




Crabfeasts Gone Wild is part of the newest DVD collection being brought to you by the Stink Johnson Entertainment Group in association with Millionaires in Slippers Productions. This spectacular DVD set just dives right into summertime with an all access look at cookouts & crabfeasts and how they get down, dirty, and flat out riggity raw. The first video of your box set features the George-Mixon Family Reunion & Crabfeast of 2004.

The George-Mixon Family Reunion & Crabfeast is a family reunion, and really just a place for singles and halfway single people to hookup. Gangsta Mike Ritchie and Keneesha Mixon are shown above when the hooking up really starts to go down, after most the grandmothers have gone in. Gangsta Mike is neither a George or a Mixon, but he came with his good buddy James George who is both a Mixon and a George (despite his dual family ties this doesn't stop him from possible 3rd cousin-removed hookups, as you will see in this feature's 28th minute.) The two are seen playing a game of Russian Bobcat, basically you take shots and make that cat-hisssing noise for a minute straight.

Things got tricky once Keneesha flipped that bang up in the front of her head. There were naked charades, and the 7-member game of hide-n-go-seek in Wanda's big basement. Only removed cousins were remaining at this point, oh and Regine & Darrell were there, but they are swingers, and Darrell's only related to the George side through his 1st marriage. It went down that day, and the basement smelled to prove it. This first collection also includes the cd of the soundtrack featuring Rare Essence's "The Freaks Come Out at Night", and "Don't Look Back" by The Group Duquette. I have put the lyrics below for your sing--along pleasure.

Don't look back,
just give it here
I got something to say, but I only want your ear,
girl stay right there
I'm just gonna lean back in this chair
I just wanna tell you
You got some nappy back hair

Don't look back
just give it here, give it here
I just want to show you
that something's in the air
but first we getting in the shower
I wanna make you moan and wail
Got to wash you off baby
because your back ear smells like your tail


This soundtrack can be found at http://www.thed-siderecords.com

Thursday, July 06, 2006

As many of you have noticed, we haven't been "at it" as usual. But that should be changing back to normal soon. This site is maintained by 3 individuals. I ("Salvador Gabor") tend to contribute the most articles but, my 2 partners ("Reggie" and "Gartrelle") also contribute great work. Up until recently, we have received all positive responses on our work. But one article recently raised some eyebrows "Look its a Bent"

We don't take the comments personally but, Gartrelle felt he shouldn't "Let it ride", so the following is his response to the comments. Now, if you "get in your feelings", reconsider posting negative comments. Until then........



"Mommy, Can I Ride In the Front? Pleeease."
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


Maybe it's just in MY mind, but it seems that I've touched a nerve here. Da all time winner of the 4th annual butt Thumper competition has a special affinity for Chrysler 300's. Who knew? Well King Thumper, may I call you Sasha? I find it interesting that people are so quick to defend their MOTHER'S choice of Transportation. From the response, it appears that you are still attached to and swinging from mommy's teet. But that's cool because I hear that rabbit milk is very nutritious. Now when your mother rides past me and points at the alleged bird droppings on my door handles, were you a scrub hanging out the passenger side? Or were you in the backseat buckled in your car seat? I'm willing to bet that you were sipping a juice box and snacking on some animal crackers. (Wipe the crumbs off your bib.)

And were you in the back singing along to Heather Headley? Ironic that the song she's listening too is about a chick who gets dumped by a man but "she'll always be his lady." Judging from your blog http://www.blogger.com/profile/3575767 Sounds like your momma is always gonna be your lady because you're scared to leave her. You probably still live at home with mommy sleeping on a twin bed with Superman sheets. Don't wet the bed, Sasha. "Mommy, can you turn on my night light? I'm scared."

Now as for my vehicle of choice. A Catera? That's funny, bunny. I drive a Deville (one of three cars that I own), a big car for a grown man. But don't worry about what I'm driving, come holla at me, here's $13.50, that should cover your bus fare for the week.

To my little internet minority model friends, instead of "faking it until you make it" how about you admire it until you acquire it. Everybody wanna be a star, don't wanna be who they are. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and keep up with the Dow Jones.

Since y'all like to buy replica cars, (wait a minute, you didn't buy one, y'all are just defending OTHER people that did) let me be the first to hip you to the bootleg Rolls Royce Phantom, The Imperial, made by who else? Chrysler.


Chrysler: The Payless Shoe Store of the Automotive Industry

To my man Sasha Thumper, have fun on Planet Lovetron, tell the Queen I said "Get me." and tell mommy that for $350 she could have avoided the embarrassment that is you.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

"QUICK TIPS"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.



All furniture owners looking to sell couches need to be ready to answer this questionaire upon buyers request.

1. How many times per week, do you sit naked on the couch?

2. If yes, to #1, how many times unbathed was your naked tail?

3. How many whole-naked sexings has your couch endured?

4. If yes to #3, how many spunk marks?

5. If #4 is applicable, how were the spunk marks removed, leather need not apply.

6. Does the couch retain a smell? Please describe, good or bad, and exact reminence.

7. Has a prior owner or operator of the couch worn a jheri curl, leather less than 5 years old need not apply if treated with Armor-All.


This knowledge has been brought to you by the "Duttweiler Foundation" also in part by Jimmy's Funeral Service and Margarite and the Step-Mother's Band

Monday, May 15, 2006

"Look, a Bent...Oh, it's just another 300"
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


"It's cool to have a Bentley, I want a Bentley." (c) Cee-Lo Green

Aight, this needs to be said once and for all. I need to address the Chrysler 300 phenomenom. That is NOT a Bentley dog! I repeat, your Chrysler 300 is not a Bentley.

I know they let you customize your new 300. Your got the 20's shining. You got the chrome mesh grill. You got a chrome gas cap and door handles. Leather heated seats. 10 disc CD changer. That's fantastic. I'm really happy for you but I'm not impressed. You know why? Because at the end of the day, you still riding in a Chrysler. Yup, the father of the Dodge.In case you didn't know Chrysler makes some terrible automobiles. It might look good, but let me see your maintenance bill in 3 years. I dare you. And another thing, how them joints only come in like 4 colors? Cream, white, black, and silver.(That mayonnaise colored "miracle whip" (c) Kanye is the most prevalent in the streets these days.)

You are driving a fake Bentley. You are worse than these broads buying Louis Vuitton purses for $35 from the Africans on K St. You bought a bootleg Bentley. That's like buying a pleather MCM outfit in 2006. That's like buying a cubic zirconium for your girl's engagement ring. Thinking to yourself, "If I drive fast enough, it'll look like a real Bentley."

Like faux fur, you got a faux Bentley. So the next time you roll up on me at a light leaning hard with your window rolled down half-way looking at me like you riding a big boy car, DON'T. I'm leaning in my 'Lac because anything less would be uncivilized, you leaning in a CHRYSLER is just uncouth.

Monday, April 24, 2006

More Than A Game
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


“It’s spring again, everybody know it’s spring again.” © Biz Markie

Good people, the weather is warming up, birds are chirping like Nextels, and flowers are blooming. So that can only mean one thing for Black people: It’s cookout time! That’s right, it’s time to fire up the grill, throw some dogs and wings on the Weber and start a fire. Ladies are gonna have their toes out and fellas are gonna sip their Heinekens. The most asked question of the day will be, “Who made the ‘tata salad?”

But more important than the food and drinks is a very sacred cookout ritual, the SPADES game. Yes, the Blackest of all card games, Spades is a tradition. Now Spades is not a game for the weak. Spades is not for those with a short memory. Spades is not for those that can’t handle pressure. If you can’t play, don’t sit at the table. God forbid you sit at a table and don’t know how to play spades. Your Blackness will be questioned.

Many relationships and family ties have been broken over somebody reneging. Your Uncle Willie still ain’t speaking to Cousin Bobby over a renege 12 years ago? Did Ty-Ty stab Big Bruce with a plastic knife because they bumped and didn’t make their books?
Is your Aunt Trudie still mad at you for cutting her Jack of Diamonds? Does Lil’ Dre repeatedly underbid? Talking about he got “two and five possibles.” You always arguing about whether it’s “Joker, joker, deuce” or “Joker, joker, ace”? Do y’all play overs?

Spades has now become the number nine leading cause of death among Black folks just edging out choking on watermelon seeds for the top ten. Always set the rules up front. Also, I strongly encourage you to play with strangers instead of family. I don’t want to see any long simmering beefs lead to an argument during repast of Nana’s funeral. I ain’t trying to hear that Uncle Willie done pulled his pistol on Cousin Bobby talking about, “Nigga, back in ’94 we was in Trudie’s basement and you played the four of diamonds after you cut Big Bruce’s Queen of Diamonds with the six of spades! You non-spades playing muthaf@#$&*!”

In the sake of keeping the Black family strong (and out of the hospital), either play with strangers or play Uno.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Personals
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.



Today we are helping out our lonely brethren by the 2's. There's nothing wrong with being polite, and treating a woman like she wants to be treated, but you can't always let them know that before you meet them. Let's meet 2 of the most affectionate holding-hands, nose-rubbing, and 2 of the most ticklish niggas in Alabama.

Anthiny & Carl Whitney are 2 young educated brothrs looking for love in all the wrong places. Both are graduates of Tuskegee Anthiny has a master's in English Literature, and Carl a B.S. in Electrical Engineering. Despite their education they can't seem to come up on some loving.

One Tuskegee summer, the twins were attending summer school, in a hope to maybe find a couple of friendly freshmen twins looking for romance, and a love of B.B. King. However what they came across was a coniving heavy-handed softball player named Katweeda James. Now 'Tweeda thought she was a bit of a player. She thought she could have any man and anything she wanted. Check the pose and you'll know what I mean.



'Tweeda spotted the boys as soon as she set foot on campus. She was at Tuskegee for the summer taking some classes, to try to being her GPA up in order to return to Shaw University to to play softball. 'Tweeda had an appetite for sex, much like her appetite for baby back ribs, aggressive. She caught Carl coming out of one of his summer calculus classes and she knew she had to have him. They exchanged numbers, and made a date for Friday. Here's the catch, she told them her cousin went there and they looked a little alike and her name was K. Trying to cover her back like a Mississippi snail.

She later caught Anthiny in a secluded location and got his digits. The single-elimination double dating began. Ole 'Tweeda had these niggas running to their grandma for money to spend on her. It wasnt pretty, because both twins were so wrapped up in Katweeda they didn't even realize they were dating the same girl. This almost caused a rif in the family until Carl caught 'Tweeda and Anthiny coming out of Dairy Queen. He had no doubt that it was her, because 'Tweeda had an affinity for double chocolate moose cookies and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Carl was none too tickled about this and confronted 'Tweeda. He was so hot he almost cussed, "And to think I was going to give you my Grandmomma's recipe for Dutch Cabbage!", he said. The twins poured ice cream on her and simultaneously said, "You dern 2-timing hussy!"

It was a good thing they never sexed 'Tweeda, but bad at the same time. The twins haven't loved a woman since, well we think Anthiny had sex in '98 with a metermaid named Kintarsha but we aint sure. We know they are looking for sex now. They have changed underwear to maximize their sprem count, started wearing name brand cologne, and stopped shopping in the husky section. They are still ticklish, and in need of a date, 2-timers need not apply. Call us at 301-455-3534 if you don't mind hearing a grown man laugh like a baby, napping in a hammock, or having his grandmomma call him at 5:30am to check the weather where he lives (only 2clicks from her house, but they got different news

Thursday, March 30, 2006

"THE STATE OF THE SOCIAL INTERNET UNION ADDRESS"
By Salvador Gabor


Now that we are approaching the spring time and the summer months to follow, I feel a need to address all of you folks who spend your 8 hours at work searching the net. Today is a great day for Social Internet Executives and Technicians alike. There are so many website to search. We have shopping sites, discussion boards, chat rooms, blogs and other outlets such as the latest "Video Model" pics. Even inspite of these great leaps for mankind on the internet we have some problems. Serious problems that need to be solved. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news but, we cant celebrate our acheivements until we address the downfalls within out Social Internet Society.

Let me first tackle the Evite.com dilemna. YES it is a dilemna. This is a great tool to keep up with our social events, since that IS our focus. But, it's usually a clear cut idea of whether or not an event is FOR me or FOR you. The constant reminders of the same event are not necessary. If we want to attend, we keep those events in mind. If not, we just dont reply or we say "maybe" or "no". Once we have done that we don't need a "Donte sends a reminder for the Housewarming Bash this Friday, your current response is 'No'". Also another great obstacle is the "This guest list has not been released by the coordinator" message. When living in a major metropolitan area, FULL DISCLOSURE is needed when being invited to birthday parties, housewarmings, house dinners, and so forth. Who knows if you bring your new girlfriend and your "ex" is invited. Maybe she isn't your "ex" JUST yet. Maybe she doesn't know that you are engaged. Party coordinators have to keep this in mind. Proper disbursing of invitations must be taking into consideration. The lack of planning for "cat fights" could be a disaster. So once again FULL DISCLOSURE is needed. Also depending upon who is attending, a nigga just might wanna be a lil more fresh than normal. Disclose of the invite list gives you an idea of that.

The next dilemna is MySpace. I don't have a problem with this new "Blackplanet aimed towards all races". I just have one glitch to address. Fellas, don't ask me to be your friend on MySpace and your main picture is that of you with your shirt off. That just doesn't represent my heterosexuality to the furthest extent. Now I've seen some folks that I'm really cool with on this site but, I'm afraid to reach out to them because if I do, they may wanna add me as their friend and ask the same of me. But if you are trying to look like Shemar Moore on your page, I'm going to have to decline. Simply because you can't be on MY SPACE if you look like that on MySpace.

Now, I want to go JunkMail and cookies. From what I've been told, Junkmail is sent to your email addresses based on where you browse on the internet. But I'm seeing a problem. That must not always be correct. I've received messages about Penis Enlargement, Plasma TV's and African men who need sponsorship to get to America. I've never complained about my "manhood" or my TV and who am I the new Sally Struthers. I don't know how "Akello Mwabe" got my email address.

We also need to address, S.I.E. to S.I.E. relations. Social Internet Executives and the relationships they develop have tapered off as of late. There is no longer honor amongst thieves. Yes THIEVES. All yall stealing that government money anyway but, that's another story for another day. But where is the honor? Why can't we just have great S.I.E. relationships anymore. S.I.E.'s send the same email 17 times in 2 days. We recycle emails from 2 years ago. And to make matters worse, S.I.E.'s send audio and video attachments and then call you to see if you got the attachment. But, when it doesn't download they 1) get mad at YOU and 2) KEEP sending it and calling....."DID you get it now". I tell ya!

As a whole, we have gained ground but, there is more ground to be gained. In 2006, we will get there.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Sal's Corner
"DRESSED AND CODED"


It's spring again. And you gotz to beware. The street walkers are out here. From 12:00 PM to 2:30 PM daily, downtown niggas are on the prowl. Toothpicks in their mouth and shoes shined. From the court buildings to the Government buildings, they are out. There is nothing a lil sunshine and windy air can't do to make the lunchhour seem a lil longer than it should. Those of us cheating tryna leave the desk @ 12:50 just to get that full lunch period in. I know you! You cant fool me. And I dont wanna fool you. So Im gonna teach and expose to you some of the people you can watch for in this springtime. I'm not gonna call any names in particular. I'm just gonna give nicknames and you can go for what you know.

"Loops and Hoops" - Oh you know em. He's the baldheaded guy in your building with the earring in his ear. Not the stud but the hoop. Alot of these niggas came on out around '93 when Michael Jordan made it cool to rock the bald head wit da hoop. He can be seen wit da black slacks and the light grey blazer. Not to mention the silver and red tie. If you are seen shopping where he shops, reconsider. He's a nice guy though. You might see em in line at the Hot Bar and he's a good guy to talk to while waiting in a long line.

"Hooks and Flaps" - A real Trench Coat kinda guy. Maybe even a copier machine technician. Chinese collars galore. We call em "Hooks and Flaps" because that trench coat has so many belts and folds in it. He even sports a leather one when he takes his kids to the movies. "Hooks and Flaps" is a good guy though. He causes no problems. He's not tryna outdress you or anything. But he's always out and about, handling his business but, cant escape the laughter of teenage kids that he shares public transportation with

"French Cuff" - He's a playa. Well, that's if you asked HIM. Yall know "French Cuff". Type of nigga to roll up on you at the b-ball court. Only nigga in America that always say "Lemme get a shot" but he STAY dressed up. Never break a sweat though. Steve Harvey is one of these type niggas. "Light Purple shirt with the white cuff" type nigga. "Wild leg slacked" type nigga. "Thick Mustache" type nigga. "Box and 1 fade" type nigga. "French Cuff" thinks that he runs the downtown lunchtime playa scene. He's a GAZELLE with no lenses type nigga too!!! Watch em. He gotta few buddies that he run wit. He's gotta buddy named "Big Pieces" that we will talk about in a second. He spends some of his lunch hour schooling the young dudes on the block. He has a few young girls. But thats only because he treats the female interns to McDonalds every Friday.

"Big Pieces" - We call em "Big Pieces" because it aint a day that goes by that he don't got at least 4 pieces to a suit. He stay wit big pieces. The suspenders, the belt, the vest, the hat.....the whole shaaabaaamm. "Big Pieces" is running buddies with "French Cuff". "Big Pieces" is married though. He straddles the line. He goes to church but still partakes in a "lil drank" every now and then. Might take one pull of a cigarette. He might flirt wit his lady friends but always comes home to "Mama". One thing about "Big Pieces".....he can throw a party. If you aint been, you have heard about the "French Cuff and Big Pieces" affairs. "Big Pieces" always tries to satisfy EVERYBODY all at once and you cant do that.

"SOUTH CAROLINA" - You can go as north as New York and "South Carolina" exists. That nigga left the south 27 years ago and STILL has a country accent. He has one tooth that is lightly dead in the front. You can see that white turning blueish/purple. This guy is giving you ALL purple in his fashion arsenal. Purple suits, Black dress shirts and silk ties galore. Toothpicks and gold everywhere. Now dont get it confused, he can be from North or South Carolina. Maybe Georgia but we will call him "South Carolina".

So my friends, I just feel a need to inform you of who's "Dressed and Coded" for the Spring and Summer of 2006.

Lord Willin, Rome Feelin

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Gambling With Your Social Life
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


Many people see gambling as an investment, and others see it as a detriment to society, marriage, parenthood and even friendship. Gambling can be a useful tool in come-upedness. You might score $1700 shooting dice on a website, or you might cause some young woman to lose all self-confidence trying to juggle time.

People often times suggest that one invest in this or that. These things can range from stocks and bonds, to an apple sauce truck full of DVD's coming from Reno on a bad axle, that is sure to make one 17 minute stop in Watts at 3:05 a.m. on Thursday after next. It is left up to us to figure out what is worth while and what is just wet sand.

In the world of investment more commonly called Gambling in venues like Atlantic City, there are certain things you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. There are others that we as people would welcome ourselves to if a simple bet had been made.

"I bet if Keith told you she was a ho..." In a situation like this a regular dude might pass on a good girl in the right situation, but because nice brother told him to talk to Venetta he passed on it. The last 3 girls good-dude Marvin hooked you up with, none of them gave you the draws. Oh but the nigga Keith, always provides some of the finest, and sometimes the ugliest skanks Norfolk has to offer. It is bets like this that have naked on a 300 pound easy woman named Kadunya.

"I bet if Tully told you to take the pill..." On what a gamble this is. A situation like this could be one in which a stubborn old man won't take what his doctor prescribes but will continue to drink whiskey and smoke cigarellos knowing good and well he has tuberculosis. Now if Tully, the woman known to make arthritis go away by burning her husband with an iron on his right hip. This the same woman who ties garlic to your tail get rid of yeast infections. Now had she told Weeyams to take an antibiotic he would do it.

"I bet if P.Diddy told you to wear it..." Now this could be the difference in staying warm and staying fly. This might keep an 8th grader warm in February, and a 54 year old hustler in proper attire at his well-to-do brother's retirement party.

My how we gamble with our social life. We quick to say what we aint going to do, because it aint cool, or because it don't sound lucrative but you can bet if Ty and Wayne got something to do with it you will be driving that Monte Carlo with 16 pounds of coke in the backseat.

Some of life's bets are nothing but disguised debts, sometimes to society and other times to your Aunt who loaned you $500 to open your own dry cleaners, just because you had the surplus hangers and a broken steamer with a Flowbee engine. "I bet I could open my own cleaners." Someone should have bet Woody couldn't, there's the money on the street.

Be careful betting against someone though. All you hard fathers thinking your boy is soft because he likes music. Be careful, you might have the next Kanye on your hands, but then again the nigga could turn out to be Magoo. If you sitting around the house wondering what he can't do in your Russell sweatpants and dressy yardwork shoes, don't cash that bet. Take that money and get yall some outfits, because that Science Fair Banquet might be the gateway to neverending trips to Vegas when young Titus is all grown up.

The world keeps spinning like a table of roulette
So many things us nigga have yet to beget
Diamond rings loaded with baggettes
A butt naked dance with Alley Baggette
Scared money will keep your daughter and wife in bowrettes,
keeping you with long nails on your pinky toes
rolling dice with your buddies Quartet
Jerome, Curtis, Vaughn and Lavette
drinking Martel and riding shotgun in Jerome's Corvette
don't let life pass you by, because you didn't buy
only investing on stolen good off of trucks painted "Canada Dry"
This world keeps spinning this I know
Just ask them big women at the toy parties not licensed by Hasbro
.

Make money mane.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Personals
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.




Marvin Diggs is a hardworking man looking for love, and a woman who don't mind smelling feet. A man known for putting cognac in his coffee, and not washing behind his ears, Marvin likes to keep things quiet.

Marvin has been a dump truck driver/bull dozer operator/golf cart operator. Marvin is known to studder a little bit when talking about his Redskins, the Golden State Warriors of the mid 80's, and any reference to Lawrence Taylor sets him off. Marvin once got into a heated debate about Lawrence Taylor on the job site. He got so upset that got into the site manager's golf cart and drove all the way home, and could be heard saying "that Lawrence Taylor is a piece of dookey, just just dookey, he he he he he don't know chalfk from coffee," all the way down Kenilworth Avenue.

Marvin is a Sagitarius with Gemini qualities on the jobsite. He is sometimes not very talkative, but always has a warm smile, especially when drinking some hot tea with a little burboun in it. He likes his potato salad luke warm, and his women big legged. Marvin don't like no pets, and has raised three children and really doesn't want to see yours. If you are a single women, who doesn't mind a little construction dust on your couch, call us at 301-455-3534 to talk to Marvin or one of our other hoeless romantics. His single and ready, oh and his eyes aint red from crying, that's that bourbon.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sal's Corner
"PUT ME IN COACH"


Amateur athletics has been a major part of the inner-city members of the African-American society for over 50 years. Many of our most athletic boys and girls have grown up and become world-class athletes. And for a portion of our young community, the lack of father figures in the household led our youth to look towards outside influences to be the main figures of fatherhood in their lives. Some looked to men in the church, others looked to drug dealers, neighbors and of course.....COACHES. Coaches are great figures for how to be "stand-up" men and women. But, this isn't easy. So as a parent, when a coach comes to your home to recruit your son or daughter, you have to know they are going to be hard on your child to bring the best out of them. Today we will look at some coaches that could come to your house to recruit your child. Also we will learn what to expect from these coaches.

Disclaimer: The following comments are not directly related to the actual persons being shown below. This is just a glance at what these coaches could be based on their looks and outward attitude.




RAY RHODES

This is a man of CHARACTER. Your son or daughter is in good hands with a man like this. Sure they might break a bone in his presence and not be hospitalized but if you can play on one leg, you can surely play on two. This is NOT the coach for your child if you oppose to a lil smoking and tobacco use in the presence of your kid. As for praying before a game........."God aint never been in a 4th & Goal situation". This isn't something that would surprise me to hear Coach Rhodes say either. Expect your child to be exposed to "snuff", brown liquor and high rolling dice games. Not purposely but those "extra" guys that aren't apart of the official coaching staff always seem to exploit and corrupt your kids. Look out for those guys in the lawn chairs with the hawaiian shirts and soft slacks.



MAURICE CHEEKS

"See Mrs. Jenkins...you gotta realize...the schoolwork will come around, we just need him on the court TODAY". Coach cheeks looks to be a guy that might try to tutor your kid but, when he sees that he or she is too bad off academically will just try to change their grades and when they graduate, try to get them a job on a delivery truck or something. He will do any and everything to get his kids eligible. "Social Studies.....I mean........you gotta realize.....if he plays in the NBA he will eventually learn his capitals of the states". He's a real "well you gotta realize" kinda guy. He will try to rationalize everything. And your kid will know that their life has been messed up by Coach Cheeks but, they'll still love em. Just because he takes em out to eat and let's the kids borrow his car to go out on dates and to have sex in there.



JOHN LUCAS

See Coach Lucas....Coach Lucas is the guy that recruits all the christian athletes. He comes to the recruiting meeting with your parents and he has his bible. He quotes scriptures. He seems very nice. As soon as you sign that contract and send your kid off to his camp or college.........."Wake up MUDDAF*CKA!". "AINT SH*T in that bed but a MUDDAF*CKIN dream B*TCHES". It's a complete change. Then your kid calls home. "Ma I don't wanna stay here". And you tell em to stay because Mr. Lucas is a nice young man. But little do you know...........



ART SHELL

Your child SHALL eat good. That's all you need to know. If he signs your kid, they will be at buffets after every practice. And if your child looks old enough, he or she might be assigned to beer runs. There aren't any let-ups though. You shall work hard. Coach Shell dont say "gimme 5 laps". He just says "Yall niggas start runnin". And you run until you done. Done could be 5 laps, it could mean 15 laps. Who knows. It's alot of kool-aid and sunflower seeds at Coach Shell's practices. Practice is kept real basic and old school.



HERM EDWARDS

Now he bumps heads with Coach Lucas when it comes to the christian athletes. They are neck and neck when it comes to recruiting them. But Edwards is a lil more verse with his scriptures and he can hide his cursing a little more. He's been known to cry in a living room or two if necessary to show you his passion for kids. That usually seals the deal.



AVERY JOHNSON

Coach Johnson has battled on and off the court. He is a great man and loves the kids. Nevermind his near brushes with the law when charged with child molestation. Those allegations were not true. "I just like to shower with the boys....its comradarie".



NOLAN RICHARDSON

He is the man responsible for teaching your child the proper way to use two curse words back to back in a sentence. "This MUTHAF*CKIN GODD*MN defense yall are playing is frustration the F*CKIN SH*T out of me". He motivates his team by reminding them that HE bought items for them. "Son if you dont wanna play, come sit down....Rufus is much better than you anyways....so take off them tennies I bought for you anyhow and leave out the same door you came in you B*TCH A$$ MADE GODD*MN prick". In his world, its nothing wrong with being a lil harsh.


So all in all, your child will get cursed at, exposed to illegal and immoral activities and maybe even have a grade or two changed but, all fair than ends fair.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sal's Corner
"CLASS CLOWNS" PART 1


Ladies, I've been hearing you complaining about men. Always in our ears talking about how bad we are. I've noticed some common themes. "It aint no good men out here". "These men are cheap". "I have the worst dates". Well, I've come to save the day for you ladies. Today's lesson will be ways to avoid dealing with CLOWNS. I stick up for the fellas alot but, Im gonna share some things that I normally wouldn't share, so don't ever say I didnt give you nothing. SO here are the rules to getting rid of CLOWNS.

* "GOOD MEN/BAD MEN" - In every man, there is a "GOOD" man and there is a "BAD" man. That man is capable at ANY moment of displaying either side depending upon his respect for you at that moment. Understand this rule and the rest will flow EVER SO easily. The idea is to demand the "GOOD" side of him at all times. Make him take the steps towards bringing out the "GOOD" man in him.

* SPEAKING PROPER ENGLISH - Most women hate that men don't speak properly when they HAVE to. I.E. in front of your parents or high-siddity friends. Well when you meet a man you have to speak proper in your initial convos. This is needed for several reasons. ONE, you dont want this NIGGA to come in your house talking Jibber-Jabber. "KNAWSAYIN" and "FEELMETHOUGH". Now that's cool when you are in a relaxed environment. BUT, not at your niece's recital at church. The more important reason for you to set the tone of speaking properly is because when you meet a man in the street, your speech can intimidate the VERY person you want to avoid. "CLOWN" niggas feel inferior when they hear you speaking properly. They like to joke at your speech or do SOMETHING to secretly denounce your extra effort to speak the King's English. A REAL man is gonna say to himself "She is a bit uptight right now but.......im well-rounded enough to play her game and speak her speech yet cool enough to where when we get to know each other, she will loosen up".

* CURRENT EVENTS - Find a way to discuss current events. Right now there is talk about the Supreme Court Justices and so forth. The State of the Union Address just passed. And there are other local things going on not just in politics but in our lives. See if he knows about these things at all. The last thing you might want is a CNN geek but.........see if he knows more than the fact that he lost $200 on the Super Bowl.

* GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS - You gotta constantly bring up your goals in life. Now if you want a "quickie" from the dude, hey do you. I cant stop you. But if you looking for more, then you gotta talk about what you wanna do in life.

FELLAS, I aint sold yall out. Trust me, when you read part 2, it will be understood. Ladies, it's time you take a look WITHIN for all answers to the questions you have about the men you love to hate.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

"TODAY IN BLACK HISTORY - FEBRUARY 2nd"
By Salvador Gabor




Melvin Washington better known throughout Dade County as "Spruce" was the first inner-city African American drug dealer to surpass the $1 Million mark in net drug sales in only ONE month in 1984. Many hustlers such as Alberto "Alpo" Martinez and Richard Porter and other infamous New York hustlers had grossed a million in a month but why down in the south, "Spruce" was THE man. Now there would be those that would surpass this feat such as Rayful Edmonds of Washington, D.C. and others but, "Spruce" can not be denied as the first.


"Spruce tried all he could to eat for free and to go without trickin' on dem gals over at the high school" says Willemina Washington (pictured on the left). "Yes, he sho was bout his bidness and he wanted to make dat Miyon on his own" says Mable Gertrude Maxwell (pictured on the right). And "Spruce" was surely determined to accomplish this mind-boggling feat. He stayed out all night during weeknights just to get one night of rest on Sunday. Even with paying tithes at church he was still on pace for that Million mark until Martin Luther King weekend. His friends wanted to go to a party thrown by some high school friends known as "The Chill Factor". But "chillin" was out of the question for "Spruce". "I got buttas to sell and money to make". That was often the theme for "Spruce's" life.

Today we salute Melvin "Spruce" Washington for his steadfast work ethic and self-motivation to be financial empowered through street pharmacy.

Here's to YOU "Spruce", for being an example to young lions of the streetlife




This announcement was brought to you by "Bread of Life" Soup Kitchen in downtown Detroit. Home of the famous "Hog Maw Bagel". Their motto "You like em, we slice em"

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Black American State of the Union Address
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


In honor of Black History Month, I want to address my fellow Black Americans about the state of our union. Now many of you are probably saying, “What union? I don’t see any unity.” You know what? You’re right, there is no real unity among our people and I honestly don’t think there ever will be. Wow, I have no hope for our people huh? Well let me break it down for you.

One thing that our people fail to realize is that amongst ourselves, we are Americans before we are Black. We were born here and raised on American values. We think like Americans. Black, Brown, White, whatever. It is who we are. We are Americans first and foremost. Our Blackness is secondary. Black people in America are not a monolith (go look it up). We are a diverse group of people who will never truly unite in this country because we DON’T all share the same values, morals, and backgrounds. Our unique experience in this country has taken our people down every life path imaginable. Our only true common bond is the continent from which we originated. Even our ancestors’ years of oppression as slaves in this country was a varied experience to say the least.

America is a country built on distinctions of economic class, not race. The economic classism that America was built upon has not escaped the attitudes of Blacks in America since end of slavery days. The work of great Civil Rights leaders such as the late Malcolm X, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and his wife Coretta Scott King has allowed for Blacks to achieve even greater levels of economic prosperity since the 1960’s. And therein lies the dilemma. The economic gap in wealth among Blacks grew even greater. The social divide widened. The attitudes, the priorities, the values among our people continued to change and became more assorted.

So often I hear Black people say, “Who are our leaders?” or “Who is going to be the next leader of Black people?” My answer is you can’t have a leader of a people who don’t share a common goal or a common ideology. Black people don’t all share the same views on religion, politics, economics, education, etc. There can be no one leader for all Black people. Remember, Dr. King didn’t have the support of ALL Black people when he led the Civil Rights movement. That’s the beauty of Black people. Not only do we come in all shades and colors, but we also carry different perspectives and ideas about every thing under the sun.

Remember, we are AMERICANS above all else, and unfortunately while our Constitution says that this nation was built on noble principles, the reality is that this country was founded on classism and capitalism. And as Americans, Black people are a part of the machine. We are the rich, we are the poor. We are the middle class, we are the working class. Quite often our socio-economic status in America helps to shape our attitudes and actions.

So what needs to be done to help the segment of Black America that suffers from poor education, poor health conditions, and a lack of economic empowerment? How does the segment of Black America that is in the higher socio-economic class help the rest of the Black population? Maybe first I should ask, “Why should they?” “Do they owe Black people anything?” Before any of these questions can be answered, there has to be a major cultural shift in the thinking of all Black people. We have to un-train our minds of the “American way of thinking.” We have to rid ourselves of the classism and elitism. We have to rid ourselves of the resentment against those who are trying to educate us about better ways of living, spending, and investing. We all need to refocus about the things that we deem important. Whether that be moving to the suburbs and buying a Benz, or buying our children video games and expensive shoes before we buy them a book. You see in America, the rich try to distance themselves from the poor, while through the acquisition of material things; the poor try their best to at least appear to have some wealth.

So how do we make that cultural shift? I wish I knew, I’m just your average American.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"2006 PERSONALS"
By Salvador Gabor




Clyde "Big Stank" Tolliver has been considered as a chocolate morsel to many low-class and low self-esteemed and no self-esteemed women across the seven cities area in middle Virginia. From Newport News to Suffolk to Portsmouth, he was known for his suave moves on the dance floor and in the bedroom. But since moving north to Washington, D.C., "Big Stank" isn't getting the love he once was overflowed with in and around Route 64.

Since moving to the nation's capital, he has been experiencing rejection after rejection. His routine "Hi my name is Clyde but you can call me 'Big Stank' and Im a Capricorn" hasn't rubbed the women in D.C. the right way. Speaking of rubbing the right way, he tends to rub his belly when he is attracted to women. Basically "Big Stank" has alot of work to do on adjusting to the Big City Life. Any women desperate enough to contact "Big Stank", please do so. He is the first client that we have had that we are THIS happy to see go.

Just for information purposes........"Big Stank" shops at Dillard's, Harold Pener, Cavalier and Oaktree. He also likes Raspberry Milkshakes and wearing Sandles with Chinese Collared Dress Suits. He prefers skinny ties and pants that "let out in the back". He likes to eat at IHOP on first dates and Golden Corral once he becomes more comfortable with eating several plates in front of his woman. He is a part-time manager at Shoney's and recently diversified his portfolio by investing in Stuckey's convenience stores.

Please call "Big Stank" at (301) 455-3534

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"BIDNESS TO TAKE CARE OF"
By Salvador Gabor




Greetings. My name is Duval.......Clarence Latrell Duval, III but Im also known as "Peaches". Im here to voice an opportunity to all young women looking to venture out into Adult Services. Now Now, no need to fear, thats just Madupe' standing behind me. Madupe' is my Ugandan bodyguard. A fly young nigga like myself has to walk softly and carry a big stick to keep niggas up off me, ya underdig? And when my stick aint near.....Madupe' is here.

Ladies, come one, come all........and give the fellas a chance to have a ball. Have you been questioning your sexuality? Do you feel needed or a lack thereof? There's nothing like a short skirt and stiletto's that will make every man want you. AND.....you get paid in the process. Of course with portions of the proceeds going to me and.......big brother Madupe'. Come fulfill your fantasies and lift self esteem of you and others and you strut your stuff and bring in dollars for the family.

Yes, Duval's Adult Services is a fine establishment and a family for many women living under their sexual and financial expectations. For those interested, please call me.......Clarence Latrell Duval, III @ (301) 455-3534. If it's after 9:00 P.M., ask for "Peaches".

One love....the darker the peach....the farther we reach. Shalom


BLAST FROM THE PAST:

* CHRISTMAS GIFTS

* NEWS & NOTES

* BLACK MOTHERS

* BLACK OLIVE MAN OF THE YEAR 2004

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS.........."
By Salvador Gabor




Its a CELEBRATION!

This week marks the 2-Year Anniversary of what we know as "The Salvador Gabor Project"

January 9th, 2004 marked the creation of this site. January 12th, 2004 marked the first official posting on the site.

For the rest of the week we will take a look down memory lane at the first two years. But before we do anything, lemme get my "Thank You's" out of the way.

Gotta Thank:

* Jerome Baker III!! This is the man who motivated me to do this writing thing on the Blog level. As always "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

* Gotta thank all the other bloggers and webpage owners who show me love.

* Gotta thank Rayful Edmond cause if it were not for all you people in DC searching for his name on the internet, yall wouldn't have found my page.

* Shout out to Joemarr, T-Mac, Kojak and all the other homies who always push my site to their friends and co-workers to keep my "hits" per day rate on the up and up.

* Two fingers in the air for all the "BUNK", ghetto and raunchy folks I run into, know or despise that are my motivation for my writings. Keep it "BUNK" in 2006.

* One love to all the folks that send emails and comments too. I haven't gotten a bad one yet. Alot of love for all you people!

* One time for TAG Magazine. I have an article in an issue from 2005.

* BIG UP to my guest writers: Reggie Dinkins, Jr., Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire, Lonnie "Ice" Kolberg, Bill Cashmere and EEzy Duz It and others who have come on and said a word or two.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: A big THANK YOU to the 35,000 visitors that we have had over the past 2 years

BLAST from the PAST: The following are articles from the past 2 years

"THE DAY YOU FOUND OUT"

"GREETINGS FROM THE LIGHTSKIN NIGGA CONVENTION"

"MIND YOUR OWN MARKET"

"A MIGHTY LONG WAY"

"THIS WEEK IN BOWLEGGED MAGAZINE"

"LEAVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD/A NEW G.I.G."

Monday, January 09, 2006

Sal's Corner
"PARK IT"


Today we have to address an interesting subject. PARKING. Parking is essential to life. If you wanna go ANYWHERE you have to park once you get there. And you cant do ANYTHING before you park. So today we will go into several examples and instances of how parking effects us

I. PROPER PRONOUNCIATION:

"PARKS" - This is not the way you address your lack of a parking space. "It aint no PARKS around here". The only "PARKS" I know are the ones where your kids play. But I hear "sophisticated" people talking "Its always hard to find PARKS around here". QUESTION: where did the "S" come from. It's so much easier to say "Where is a PARKING SPACE?"

II. TYPES OF PARKING SPACES ("PARKS") :

"VALET" - Now fellas, we will drive around for HOURS looking for a space. But if you have the young lady with you, depending on yall situation.......you might wanna drop the $7 fee and put the car in the garage. If you are young and you're just starting out and you gotta "bucket" and its cold, drop the $7 so you aint gotta warm up the car for 35 minutes after the 12:20 A.M. movie showing. Now its like 2:00 A.M when yall leave. You out in the street till 2:35 warming up the BUICK. Naw just go ahead and drop that $7 if you got the lady with you

"METERS" - You might have to go to he DMV. You may have to go see your lawyer. Who knows. But meters can be tricky. You only gotta quarter. ONE quarter and you gotta go stand in that Credit Union line and you KNOW 15 minutes of time on a meter aint gonna cut it WHATSOEVER. But we "try our hand". And then we have to wave that SAME hand furiously to get the "Meter Maid's" attention not to write us a ticket 45 minutes later!

"RESIDENTIAL" PART I - You have to always be weary of this. Fellas this will determine if you go to see a young lady or not based on where she lives and if you can park there. If you hear "Yeah baby I live on 125th & Lenox", that might not a good sign. You come back outside and its a bunch of niggas wit Red Bandana's on, sitting on your BUICK. And you dont wanna tell em to move. "Hey I gotta warm my car up for 35 minutes anyway so yall aight."

"RESIDENTIAL" PART II - You got some folks, especially old Cadillac owners who might put cones up to reserve their space. Or the ones who sit ON the porch to make sure the kids dont play football in front of their car. "GO ON in front of YA MAMMA house and THO' that ball." (CAUTION: its never THROW its always THO').

III. PEOPLE AND PARKING

"EXPERTS" - Don't you hate when that EXPERT is in the car with you. The one who says "You need to park this car again". Like it's their car! Or the ones who volunteer to get out and help you steer the car in the space. And they revert back to ancient hand signals from driving classes in the 1600's. It makes you wanna ask "WAS NAT TURNER in your driving class?". JUST tell me "STOP" and "COME BACK SOME MORE". Im not deaf and I dont know sign language.

"YOU WON'T GET A TICKET" - Its always a NIGGA tryna rush you to get somewhere and they say "Oh you wont get a ticket if you park here". 7 years ago a "friend" of mines said this to me. We came out and I had a ticket. HE shoulda gave me that $50 on spot. And 75% of the times its a nigga that dont have a license or dont drive that says this. OR a nigga who NEVER wants to drive.

"IN THE FRONT" - Nightlife in a big city is hectic. Say you are going to a play or a basketball game or a club or an upscale restaurant. You are NOT gonna get a space RIGHT in front of the arena. WHY drive around circles in that ONE BLOCK Radius. Ladies, im SORRY. I know yall dont like to walk. But after that first month, after the relationship has kicked in.........big homie might not wanna drop that $7 no more in the garage. He gotta used Lexus now, this aint like the BUICK. So he can sit it outside and can pull right off EVEN if its cold. That $7 is now his tip at the restaurant so act right. Dont think he gonna ride around the same block. Just carry some "flats" with you. You might got some walking to do

IV. TYPES OF PARKING STYLES

"THE CLUB PARK" - Now this is a style of parking that veteran "ghetto" club attenders know about. In D.C. it is known as the "GoGo parking". This is done when the driver parks and then before cutting the car off, TURNS the steering wheel ALL THE WAY to the LEFT. THIS is done for easy access OUT of the space in case of a shooting. All you have to do is hit da gas and your car is out of the space.

"THE VOGUE PARK" - If you got them VOGUES, you bet NOT park close to the curb. And if you gotta borrow somebody's car and they got VOGUES, you better just decline on their offer. Better yet they will TELL you. "Dont park this car close to no curbs". Them whitewalls better not be scratched. And because you are so far from the curb, REMEMBER to push the sideview mirror in.

"THE I GOTTA DOO-DOO PARK" - Its a very DISTINCTIVE parking style. You can point out a "I gotta doo-doo" parking style. The back of the car is usually out from the curb more than the front side. This is due to the fact that if your stomach is REALLY griping, you dont have time to parallel park in the proper fashion in which the "EXPERT" would want you too. And if you STILL have that BUICK that you didnt warm up.......its probably cutting off so much that when it idles down during parking, it cuts off in the middle of the parking process. So you basically hop out and your car looks like its DOUBLE PARKED in a space. Sometimes "I gotta doo-doo" parking leads you to end up ON the curb. You dont have time to fix the car's parking position. Your stomach is about to explode. Now to go even deeper, if the back of the car is out more than the front of the car, AND the car is unlocked..........thats a DEFINITE sign of "I gotta doo-doo" parking going on. So the next time you see a car parked like this in your neighborhood, check the car doors. They are probably unlocked. Cause.......your CAR keys are the last keys on your mind, its those HOUSE keys that you bout to break off in the door tryna rush in that got your mind filled.

V. CONCLUSION

Well I hope this was an insightful read. I hope that we shed some light today on parking. We now know how to pronounce what we wanna say when we have to park. We know the types of parking spaces. We have learned who will say what in our cars and how to park other people's cars. And we learned the types of parking styles and how to detect them.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Friday, January 06, 2006



Its 2006, get those juices flowing.

Thursday, January 05, 2006



"GROUP PROJECT"
By Salvador Gabor

Group projects are the best. It gives you an opportunity to work with others. It's a preview of what is to come in life. While in college I never understood these projects. But, if a group is strong, it can be an advantage to do things within a group setting. If the group is NOT strong, it's an opportunity for you to pass on knowledge and also step up and be a leader.

There are many types of people in groups. The first person that surfaces is the "So what are we doing?" person. This is the guy/girl who SAT there and got instructions but, still has NO clue. It takes them some time to figure out what we are doing but, soon enough an assignment within the project is GIVEN TO THEM. We also have "The Delegator". This person might not be the smartest person or the hardest worker but he/she has the ability to schedule meetings and they know something about something as far as the project goes. Then we have the "Why cant I do this on my own?" person. They are smart, they are able to lead the group. They just dont have the patience to bring up the rear. They are afraid that their G.P.A. will fall being surrounded by less studious pupils. Then comes the "Im just tryna get this SH*T done" person. They usually apologize for the language later but he/she is a 27 year old senior with a full-time job and their own housing a ways away from campus. They did NOT drive 10 miles to come BACK to the library at 10:00 P.M. to be joking about the party last Saturday that they DIDNT have any intentions on attending. They were too busy WORKING, if you were too busy drinking to notice their absence.

As a society, it seems as if this African-American community that we live in exists in one of THESE "Group Projects". We have the "WHAT are we doing" people. Those who have no idea of why they even exist. "The Delegator" who represents all of those who beat down our people but never offer their own solution. "Why cant I do this on my own" people make up the majority of the population. They feel that they dont have to represent the community as a whole for those who base an opinion of a million from one. The ones who forgot that they were taught to represent their family when they walk out the house and now as adults represent their race. And then the "Im just tryna get this SH*T done" people, who want to patch together a solution.

In 2006, I hope and pray that our community can move towards creating a better perception for our people. I look forward to seeing those who are doing well being showcased more than the negative connotations that are on the front page of papers across the country every morning. The key to success is "Self Worth". Understanding your role, whether it be little or small. Understanding your potential, whether it be close or far off.

"The pain of staying the same, has to outweigh the pain of change"
-Larry Raskin-


....AND I'll form the HEAD

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

RAMBLIN' FOR JANUARY 4th, 2006



"YO BUTT AINT MADE FOR THAT"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Sal's Corner
"THE WAY"


"THE WAY" is the place where we grew up. Sometimes it can be the place where we hang. It could be both. It could be the PEOPLE that make up the place where you grew up and/or hung. And its ALWAYS niggas that have special qualities that make up "THE WAY"

"AROUND THE WAY" - It's always that one dude that aint never where he supposed to be. "Meet me around the way in 15 minutes". "Oh naw Im at the mall, Im a be around the way in an hour". "I'll be around there about 10:30-10:45". And the infamous "Im headed back now, Im like 5 minutes away", knowing they bout to LEAVE in 5 minutes.

"BY THE WAY" - This is the guy that is the bearer of bad news. "By the way........I took that last condom off your dresser". "Oh yeah, I needed that $5 bill to make up the $10 dollar minimum on the chinese food". His facial expressions make you wanna slap him silly.

"IN THE WAY" - He's the 6th guy that makes up the 3 on 3 game at the court. He is also the guy with the most stupid comments when the car breaks down. He gives what he THINKS are good suggestions. He is a lil worse than "By the way". He never knows any of the people at the events that you are invited to. You really dont wanna take him but, he always seems to call and as much as you say "Im not answering this call"..........you ALWAYS pick up. "So what niggas doing today" and you can NOT lie. The most you can say is "I aint driving...you gotta ask Kevin"

"UP THE WAY" - This is the nigga who is always asked for directions. "Yeah you gotta make a left at the light, go UP THE WAY a piece until you see a Sonoco Gas Station, then go 16 blocks till you get to Monkey Drive. It should be an old man on that block feeding racoons........drive three houses down from him and thats 47568 King Lane". How he KNOWS all these details, who knows. "Up the Way" is always right, you dont know how but trust him.

"ON THE WAY" - It's always a nigga talkin bout "Yeah im bout to go to school". "Im bout to stop dealin' wit all these girls and have one main girl". "I think I need to get back to church more often". Always "ON THE WAY" to doing something. He is worse that "AROUND THE WAY". At least "AROUND THE WAY" eventually gets back from the mall. "ON THE WAY" is always living in a dream or in a comment that he feels will satisfy how you feel about him.

"OUTTA THE WAY" - It's alot of these niggas. Always taking you outta your way or you go outta your way to get them OUTTA trouble. You telling you going South, they ask to drop them off North. You not going East but somehow they wanna get a ride from you going East. THEN got the nerve to say "I hope I aint taking too much of your time". The type to give you $4 for gas money. If you not giving me $10, KEEP it. And if you dont offer at all........get your next ride on that "iron horse". "Outta The Way" will make you already have activities that prevent you from doing a favor for this person when your phone rings. Not being mean but they are the type of people that feel your friendship is based on what you do for them. I don't OWE YOU ANYTHING. We are cool 'cause 9 times outta 10, you are funny or interesting to talk to and/or hang with. But I didn't sign up to be your personal bank, lawyer or driver.


"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"