Monday, October 31, 2005

Sal's Corner

The NBA Season starts this week. And as it begins I began to think about NBA players in general. As many of you may already know, the NBA has issued a change in the dress code for players on travel and players who are inactive for play on gamedays. And I thought about how players present themselves. And I wondered, what would it be like to see one of these guys date my sister, my daughter........or my MOTHER for that matter. It used to be an honorable thing as a father, son, or brother to see your daughter, mother or sister date an athlete. His athletic prowess signaled to the fact that he is competitive, in shape and knows a thing or two about comraderie. Today we will take a light-hearted look at some NBA players and see what we think of these guys dating our women of today. What kinda dates would these guys be if they WEREN'T in the NBA "yet" or "At all"? (Keep in mind this is all in fun. You're favorite player might be on this list, DONT EMAIL ME LOL)


Damon Jones is currently with the Cleveland Cavaliers. I did a search on yahoo for him and this pic popped up. Chalk that up to a lack of popularity. I guess he aint caught enough drug charges as a black athlete to get mainstream exposure.........thats neither here nor there. Anyways.....Damon's the kind of guy that comes to your house to pick up your daughter and you dont have a good feeling about it. Its like eating crab cakes outta town.......your stomach JUST might act up and you're 200 miles from YOUR personal toilet so you just order the chicken fingers. Its just something telling you NO about Mr. Jones. But then you find out, he's in your fraternity you let em slide. Next thing you know.......he's got your daughter on tape and for some reason the other "brothers" from your fraternity in the tape somehow forgot to tell Damon that this isn't a thing they should be doing to an "Ole Skool" Frat brother's daughter. But somehow he charmed your wife and he took your younger son to a few baseball games and he got in there.


Dahntay is currently a member of the Memphis Grizzlies. Dahntay is the boy that as a father of a daughter he is dating, you can be proud. He's a good guy based on how he comes across. But your daughter can't deal with all the other girls that like him. But you like the front row seats to the college games he gets you. You find yourself standing next to him after games lusting after them young girls. And you might even say something about the women until Dahntay chimes in...."What about MISSES Harris and remember Im dating Chelsea". See Dahntay might make you remember your days of old. You tend to live your life through Dahntay.....until your daughter Chelsea breaks up with him. And then from then on out no man is like Dahntay in your eyes. 3 years later Chelsea brings home Rod who is a Barber. And all you can think is "OH great........I guess he can get me FREE tickets to the 2006 HAIR SHOW.........WOW....Thanks alot CHELSEA"


Antoine is currently a Boston Celtic. But you know I struggled a bit with this one. I said "What kinda date would Antoine be?" "How would the father react?" And then I realized.....Antoine would probably date a female without a father in the household. He's the type that would go out with he for a month and then all of a sudden he done moved in and is helping with bills. THEN I thought more, Antoine would probably meet a girl while her parents are in the midst of a separation. You (being the father) would come BACK to your house and see his leather coat on the couch. Then 'Toine comes downstairs in his drawls and yall would have to fight.


Cuttino currently provides services for the Los Angeles Clippers. And yeah........he's that guy to watch for. Un huh. He's in the same frat as you and Damon Jones. See if you look close enough on that tape Damon made with your daughter in it.....he's there too. Didn't see it did you? Your daughter didn't either. She was too drunk. But he was there. See he really wants your wife. So when you pull Chelsea to the side to talk about Cuttino he putting moves on every Aunt, niece and woman in the room.


Rodney (to my knowledge) is not currently in the league. But I took a look at Rodney. 2 things came to mind. #1 Get a Gun. Because As a father you have to size every boyfriend up........cause at some point it could get ugly. And if this dude puts his hands on your might only have one option......and thats to shoot this nigga. I saw him in a mall once and I looked like a kid standing next to him. #2 You have to know in your mind that this nigga here........OH best believe he is doing some UNGODLY things with your daughter. And that alone will make you wanna hit him but revert to rule #1. As a father you NEVER wanna get knocked out by your daughter's boyfriend and/or date.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"