Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Sal's Corner
"FAST FOOD REVIEW"


Im just doing my job. I gotta give the people what they want. Today I will be reviewing a few Fast Food joints that we frequent. Just giving you a "heads up" AND a briefing on the spots in general and what they are known for and what to watch for.

* KFC - KFC is not the best place to go at night. Hostility is the word that comes to mind. Some old lady is ALWAYS in an argument with a young girl who works there and really dont wanna be there. The young workers are patient but sometimes they act somewhat docile and almost DEAD. They walk slow to get your extra wing that you ordered. Its just a very somber mood in KFC. Employees dont enjoy jokes or share curse words and plans of partying for the night while rolling biscuits. Be in a good mood prior to going to KFC, because they wont lighten your day.

* WENDY's - Wendy's is like going to that Aunt's house that has alot of kids. Always action. Thats the house your mother wont let you go to to attend "sleepovers". Wendy's has to have some of the fastest workers in history. The drive thru time is Immaculate. They know how to handle crowds. The workers are always hilarious. The African-American to Hispanic dialogue in the back of the store is PRICELESS. "She ordered a #4, thats BACON Guadalupe..........BACON!" The downside, instead of YOU cursing them out, they curse you out from time to time. But for a quick Big Bacon Sandwich, I'll take a 4 letter word.

* McDONALD's - When I think of McDonalds, I think of family. Well I should say the workers do. They like to talk to you like we are in the street. JUST GIVE ME MY FOOD. I dont need to hear "AYE BOY, my friend wanna talk to you". What we gonna talk about?

* CHECKERS - I don't live in California. Im not tryna stand outside and wait for a burger in the cold. Checkers window service is the WORST. You HAVE to go thru drive thru. And the left side is ALWAYS empty. BUT the idea of having to put your car in park just to reach all the way over and hand them your money from the left drive thru is not worth it. Wait in the right drive thru line and you might be aight.

* POPEYES - Caution: Watch the chicken fryers. ALWAYS a funny site. Nothing will make you laugh more than a man sweating with Flour to the forearms talking about "No White meat for 15 minutes". You always gotta wait for chicken in Popeyes. And its only right that it's ALWAYS a nigga WITH you that want a Spicy Wing and thats gonna be another 6 minutes. Take this mild one and let us get on with the get on!!!!!!!! Popeyes can look like a discotech sometimes too. That back looks like opening day in the NFL. ALL SMOKE! The manager come out the back and open the door and you'd a thought Deion Sanders was back there the way he come out of that smoke stack.

* BURGER KING - I dont know much to say about them. Im glad they finally changed from that ONE LINE nonsense. Burger Kings are always just weird. I can't even quite figure them out. Its usually people from your high school that were in Special Education that are back there. "Man Greg work back there.......that nigga couldnt spell in school, good to see he can at least work a spatula".

* TACO BELL - Now Burger King employs weirdos........TACO BELL is patronized by weirdos. People who frequent this place are weirdos. This is usually a spot where as a woman you almost know some guy with a compact car and a set of rims and a part in his hair will approach you. And if you give him a chance.........he might take you back there for yall first date. The workers at Taco Bell are probably one day away from suicide.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"