Monday, September 26, 2005

Sal's Corner

How many of yall ever been SCARED in your life? I mean SCURRED!?!?!?! You didn't think you were gonna make it but, somehow you made it through. Being scared is natural but, I think some things scare some more than others. But, there are common scary moments for EVERYONE.

"I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" - Like, why can't you tell me now. "Oh we'll talk later". NO dont do that to me. Especially if its somebody in authority like your parents or boss or wife/husband. You be thinking, "WHAT could I have done". Most of the time its a woman you might need to worry. If a man says "I'll tell you later" it's probably just something he can't say because someone else is in the area. But women are different. It'll JUST be you and her and she says "I'll tell you later" and gotta be thinking "THIS IS NOT GOOD". "Whats wrong???" and she replies "Oh nothing, we'll talk". You might gotta go and check your drawls on that note. You be afraid to go to sleep cause you thinking she might kill you 'cause her calmness is too much for you to handle.

REPORT CARDS - Ut Oh. Dont run now. You had ALL semester to get right. You were playing though. You are getting your excuses together. "Lil Ralph had said he problems in that class TOO". "Man I need to switch sections cause them kids make too much noise and we ALL get in trouble". "NOBODY be passin' dem tests granddaddy". "I just study TOO much and I freeze on them tests". "Man Momma, the whole time........the teacher had said them homework assignments were optional". You know you reaching for excuses when pre-phrases like "Man Look", "The Whole time" and "For real for real" come out your mouth. But its 95% your fault. We can give room for error but it's really your fault. All them days you ran outside to play "throwback tackle" and you said "NAW I aint got no homework" or the MOST FAMOUS line of all "OH naw Ma', I had did that in school before I left". But you be SCARED. Tryna get home before moms get home cause you always gotta view the report card FIRST. Just so you can reassure and double check your excuses. Because you have to understand........some grades you THOUGHT were bad end up being B-minuses. And the ones you THOUGHT were gonna be good could be bad!

TIP: For High School students, there are "progress reports" and parents get those BUT for College Students.........there are "Mid-Semester Reports". For those who dont certain universities, they send these home to your parents. BUT, you can opt to have them come to your local address. Go to your campus building that handles payment of tuition and address issues and get that done. THIS can give you an opportunity to see where you are so that you can develop those lies a little earlier without Moms or Pops knowing.

"CALLS" IN CHURCH - You ever been in church and the pastor has a "special call" to those with certain addictions? Now this aint your regular "altar call" where people give their lives to Jesus. I mean the call that signifies that you already did that but you be "trippin" sometimes. You might smoke a lil weed, drink a lil bit of that "drank" sometimes. And then the pastor says "If there is ANYONE here who needs to be delivered, come up". And you KNOW thats you. And you sitting there "Noid" as ever. The first thing you do is look to see if anyone else is standing up. Preferably a "COOL" person. And sometimes no one fits that category. So you see a guy who obviously appears to be a "Drunk" stand up. And you say "I KNOW I aint bad as him" so you go ahead and stay seated. THEN the pastor says "You NEVER KNOW when you may have this chance again" and then that lump sets in your chest. He's talking to you. BUT you dont want EVERYBODY to know you "get down". What would Sister McCleod think of you?????

"NASTY" DEEDS IN MOMMA's HOUSE - Now for most guys, there is not a care in the world when it comes to this. Fellas dont care about sneaking around in the house as teenagers. Females dont either, if its THEIR house. But the WORST situation is when the female is in the guy's house and she know the mother! Oh man. This is probably one of the scariest moments for a young female. The last thing she needs is "Big Momma" coming in and see her hands, lips and other body parts all over her son or grandson. "Oh my god Gerald, PLEASE HURRY UP, what if Mrs. Baker come in here and see us". He responds "Look Keisha, Grandma at Bible Study". 10 minutes "Gerald IF MRS. BAKER CATCHES US IN HERE.....PLEASE GERALD WE NEED TO STOP". Most women look at the guy they're dealing with as their future. AND some females think they are replacing the boy's mother as the female in his life, so the last thing that female needs is for his mother to walk and see her with her legs in the air signaling a touchdown.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"