Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Personals
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.




PeTunia "Teetsy" Gaines is yet another lonely heart looking for love. She is an urban sociapath who enjoys the upper-eschelon of low-class. This 26-28-30 former Swimming Hole Suit model enjoys cooking, dancing, and $2 cabarets. PeTunia likes to prepare meals for her man and getting romantic all the while.

Teetsy loves to shower her mate with gifts and kisses, lingerie from NightOwls, and even stripping for him right before Monday Night Football. Teetsy's favorite thing to do on Valemtime's Friday, the Friday after pay day, is to put on her newest piece of red lingerie from NightOwls and feed him pork and beans from a champagne glass. She likes to set the mood by showering and wearing her favorite drug store fragrance "Witchhazel", she thinks it is perfume, and dipping her feet in Brutus' Baby Powder. How much more could a man ask for. She loves to fix liver n' onions, turnips, and fried watermelon on these special days. She also enjoys setting the mood with a little romantic cinema, and is a connoseur of Arabic love films. "Princess Jasmine and the Arabian Knights", "The Pakistani Panty Raid", "Jafar's Love Taxi", and "Turks and Cakeholes" are some of her favorites. This would explain Teetsy's undying fetish for gas station attendants and 7-11 employees.

PeTunia was once romanticaly involved with a parking attendant named Akbam, who she called Rex. The two shared parking lot love for over 17 months, but soon ended when Akbam moved to New York to open a nightclub name "Jazzy Kosh Be Gosh". PeTunia is on the market and dog on it, she is looking for love. If you like dipping roasted marshmellow's in pudding while smelling feet, please do not hesitate to call. She keeps her nails done, and her hair did, she is lonely and has no kids. Her apartment smells like chittlins, and that's no kidding, but as a lover she will do your bidding. Please give us a call at 301-455-3534 to get at PeTunia "Teetsy" Gaines.