Monday, June 27, 2005

Sal's Corner
"Close........But No Cigar"


This is a circular world that we live in. 11:59 P.M. is far from 12:01 A.M. on the clock when you go around the circle to get to it. Yet they're only 2 minutes apart. China and California appear to be on opposite sides of the world if you look at a flat map, yet if you travel the "back way" they aren't far apart. There are many instances where you are SO close yet so far from where you need to be. Today we will look at some of those instances

* LADIES W/ TATTOOs - I've ran across many men who prefer that their women NOT be marked up with Tattoos. For some reason they feel that a woman who is marked up in a severe way maybe freakish or too freakish to be "Wifey Material". To each it's own. She may just like body art. Who knows? But what about the woman with ONE tattoo? The one you can't see? Not the one on her butt or on her breast but the ladies who have tattoos on their ankle? YES the butterfly that's on her foot. My friend, THOSE are the ones that you may have to worry about. See she may not have had any intentions on getting "tatted up", yet she went to Miami for Memorial Weekend and "let loose". She might have spent $75 on a tat "Just doing it to do it". See this kinda woman says that alot. She seems quiet and reserved but that ONE, SMALL, UNNOTICED tattoo leads me to believe she's wilder than the lady who is so tatted that she belongs on the back of a harley. SO CLOSE.....YET SO FAR

* HIGH TOP AIR FORCE ONES - I dont like em. Not a good look.......WHATSOEVER. I know how it is fellas. Its Saturday @ 12:00 P.M., you just left the waffle house or IHOP. You gotta good breakfast in you. You are tired from Friday. Now you got Saturday to look forward to. Gotta go pick up a white tee. You got shoes but another pair aint a bad pick up. You go to the mall. Its like Mid-May or early June. EVERYBODY's coppin white shoes. So you say to self "Im a get some Air ones today". Being as though you were a shoe sized somewhere between 9.5 - 12, there is a demand for that size area. You walk in the store and you ask for an All White Air One in a size 11. While the lady goes to the back you contemplate who "you gonna KILL EM" wit the outfit today. She comes out and says the worst words a man can hear "We only have them in a 8........BUT we do have the High Top Air Force Ones". At this very moment..........you need to leave the store. Any thought of actually rockin a HIGH TOP Air one is a sin. Its something about those shoes that are the worst. When dealing with Air Ones....ONLY get LOW TOPS. High Top Air Ones denotes "Summer Vacation at Myrtle Beach" and/or "Family Reunion in Georgia on a dirt road". SO CLOSE...........YET SO FAR

* PEOPLE - You ever stood next to someone and they are thinking totally different than you are. One example: We know the old saying "You cant take da nigga out da hood but, you can never take da hood out the nigga". And it never changes. I could be standing next to someone and we see a rich person walk by. You may think "How can I be rich guy like that guy?" And the nigga next to you might be thinking "How can I ROB a rich guy like that guy?"Yet both of you know each other. You both are always around each and you are SO CLOSE.........YET SO FAR from each other in thoughts.

* HAIRCUTS - It's amazing how you can point to the picture on the poster and you will NEVER look like that man with the waves and the perfect part in his head. "Lemme get that #6". If you aint NEVER said that as a child or if you SIT HERE and say you aint ask for that #6 as a kid, you are lying. I hope you get struck down as you press refresh on this page. EVERY kid asked for that ONE cut on the barber poster. And when you got up out the chair.........you were SO close to being that kid in the #6 pic.........YET So far from it. And as we get older, some men try to force our hand and MAKE our cut look like what the guy in the next chair looks like. We might get a cut, we dont like it but we not gonna make a fuss to our barber that's been cutting our hair for 10 years. Shoot, yall go to the club together and everything, so you can't cuss him out cause the line wasn't as SHARP as the next man's was. The line is STRAIGHT and your hair is smooth but it don't quite look like Big Greg's hair when he get out the chair. You own your own set of clippers and you go home and try to touch up on what your barber did..........but you end up jackin up your cut. And then..........ONCE you mess up.....you try to go to ANOTHER barber cause, you scared to tell your main barber that you messed with the cut yourself. NOW 2 weeks later you back in the shop and the barber is looking strange at your head. "What happened?". You are supposed to have a monogamous relationship with your barber. You messing with your hair, screwing it up and going to another barber to fix it and then coming back to your barber is like your woman going to the club and then coming home with no panties on. And then that turns into a R Kelly Trapped in the closet part 14..................."I picked up the Clippers.........I picked up the Clippers". SO CLOSE......YET SO FAR

* PASSWORDS - I think everyone pretty much uses the same 2-3 maybe 4 passwords for ALL their password protected email, bank and other types of accounts. But their is ALWAYS one website or email account that you are registered to that you aint been to in a while that you've forgotten the password to. And you are ALWAYS ONE letter or number away. And you think and think and think on that thing. You can't figure it out for the WORLD. And you had it once. YES you had the password and then..................YOUR BOYFRIEND CHANGED the PASSWORD ON YOU. YES ladies its time that we address this issue. Yall thought I was talking about some online banking or credit site. Maybe even a shopping site. NO!!! Im talkin' about your boyfriend's cell phone, his email address, the chat room that you know he be in.........STOP tryna get the password. Not now........RIGHT NOW. I heard a girl say once that she will press random numbers just to attempt to break into her boyfriend's voicemail. CRAZY.........aint it. Yall look stupid tryna tap into codes. SO CLOSE........YET SO FAR...........away from being CRAZY that is.

Its a crazy world that we live in. It's so crazy how you can be right next to where you need to be, yet so far away