Monday, June 27, 2005

Sal's Corner
"Close........But No Cigar"


This is a circular world that we live in. 11:59 P.M. is far from 12:01 A.M. on the clock when you go around the circle to get to it. Yet they're only 2 minutes apart. China and California appear to be on opposite sides of the world if you look at a flat map, yet if you travel the "back way" they aren't far apart. There are many instances where you are SO close yet so far from where you need to be. Today we will look at some of those instances

* LADIES W/ TATTOOs - I've ran across many men who prefer that their women NOT be marked up with Tattoos. For some reason they feel that a woman who is marked up in a severe way maybe freakish or too freakish to be "Wifey Material". To each it's own. She may just like body art. Who knows? But what about the woman with ONE tattoo? The one you can't see? Not the one on her butt or on her breast but the ladies who have tattoos on their ankle? YES the butterfly that's on her foot. My friend, THOSE are the ones that you may have to worry about. See she may not have had any intentions on getting "tatted up", yet she went to Miami for Memorial Weekend and "let loose". She might have spent $75 on a tat "Just doing it to do it". See this kinda woman says that alot. She seems quiet and reserved but that ONE, SMALL, UNNOTICED tattoo leads me to believe she's wilder than the lady who is so tatted that she belongs on the back of a harley. SO CLOSE.....YET SO FAR

* HIGH TOP AIR FORCE ONES - I dont like em. Not a good look.......WHATSOEVER. I know how it is fellas. Its Saturday @ 12:00 P.M., you just left the waffle house or IHOP. You gotta good breakfast in you. You are tired from Friday. Now you got Saturday to look forward to. Gotta go pick up a white tee. You got shoes but another pair aint a bad pick up. You go to the mall. Its like Mid-May or early June. EVERYBODY's coppin white shoes. So you say to self "Im a get some Air ones today". Being as though you were a shoe sized somewhere between 9.5 - 12, there is a demand for that size area. You walk in the store and you ask for an All White Air One in a size 11. While the lady goes to the back you contemplate who "you gonna KILL EM" wit the outfit today. She comes out and says the worst words a man can hear "We only have them in a 8........BUT we do have the High Top Air Force Ones". At this very moment..........you need to leave the store. Any thought of actually rockin a HIGH TOP Air one is a sin. Its something about those shoes that are the worst. When dealing with Air Ones....ONLY get LOW TOPS. High Top Air Ones denotes "Summer Vacation at Myrtle Beach" and/or "Family Reunion in Georgia on a dirt road". SO CLOSE...........YET SO FAR

* PEOPLE - You ever stood next to someone and they are thinking totally different than you are. One example: We know the old saying "You cant take da nigga out da hood but, you can never take da hood out the nigga". And it never changes. I could be standing next to someone and we see a rich person walk by. You may think "How can I be rich guy like that guy?" And the nigga next to you might be thinking "How can I ROB a rich guy like that guy?"Yet both of you know each other. You both are always around each and you are SO CLOSE.........YET SO FAR from each other in thoughts.

* HAIRCUTS - It's amazing how you can point to the picture on the poster and you will NEVER look like that man with the waves and the perfect part in his head. "Lemme get that #6". If you aint NEVER said that as a child or if you SIT HERE and say you aint ask for that #6 as a kid, you are lying. I hope you get struck down as you press refresh on this page. EVERY kid asked for that ONE cut on the barber poster. And when you got up out the chair.........you were SO close to being that kid in the #6 pic.........YET So far from it. And as we get older, some men try to force our hand and MAKE our cut look like what the guy in the next chair looks like. We might get a cut, we dont like it but we not gonna make a fuss to our barber that's been cutting our hair for 10 years. Shoot, yall go to the club together and everything, so you can't cuss him out cause the line wasn't as SHARP as the next man's was. The line is STRAIGHT and your hair is smooth but it don't quite look like Big Greg's hair when he get out the chair. You own your own set of clippers and you go home and try to touch up on what your barber did..........but you end up jackin up your cut. And then..........ONCE you mess up.....you try to go to ANOTHER barber cause, you scared to tell your main barber that you messed with the cut yourself. NOW 2 weeks later you back in the shop and the barber is looking strange at your head. "What happened?". You are supposed to have a monogamous relationship with your barber. You messing with your hair, screwing it up and going to another barber to fix it and then coming back to your barber is like your woman going to the club and then coming home with no panties on. And then that turns into a R Kelly Trapped in the closet part 14..................."I picked up the Clippers.........I picked up the Clippers". SO CLOSE......YET SO FAR

* PASSWORDS - I think everyone pretty much uses the same 2-3 maybe 4 passwords for ALL their password protected email, bank and other types of accounts. But their is ALWAYS one website or email account that you are registered to that you aint been to in a while that you've forgotten the password to. And you are ALWAYS ONE letter or number away. And you think and think and think on that thing. You can't figure it out for the WORLD. And you had it once. YES you had the password and then..................YOUR BOYFRIEND CHANGED the PASSWORD ON YOU. YES ladies its time that we address this issue. Yall thought I was talking about some online banking or credit site. Maybe even a shopping site. NO!!! Im talkin' about your boyfriend's cell phone, his email address, the chat room that you know he be in.........STOP tryna get the password. Not now........RIGHT NOW. I heard a girl say once that she will press random numbers just to attempt to break into her boyfriend's voicemail. CRAZY.........aint it. Yall look stupid tryna tap into codes. SO CLOSE........YET SO FAR...........away from being CRAZY that is.

Its a crazy world that we live in. It's so crazy how you can be right next to where you need to be, yet so far away

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"AGE AINT NUTTIN BUT A NUMBER"
By Salvador Gabor


I can remember as a teenager my mother and father would make me do chores. They said that I was old enough to be responsible for taking care of certain items within the household. At that same age, I wanted to go to certain places........but I couldn't go. I wasnt old enough to be responsible for myself in these places.........so said my parents. I was confused. The SAME people told me at the SAME age that I could do SOME things but OTHER things I couldn't do. It JUST so happened that the things they wanted me to do I WAS old enough for.......but the things I wanted to do I WASN'T old enough for. I was old enough to take on responsibility and do work for THEM but I couldn't have fun. And this was the first sign in my young life that for the next several years, it would ALWAYS be like this. People want you to be a man when they need something from you but, when you want something for yourself, folks find a way to say you aren't ready.

I grew up in a place where college wasn't an ordinary piece of the puzzle for High School graduates. A diploma received in June usually meant a job needed to be found by September. You didn't want to find yourself without a job by the time the summer was over. And by that winter, some folks had their own place and maybe even a family. That has been the way of the world. Some graduates went to the army. Some hustled. And then some of us delayed our responsibilities and spent 4-6 years in college funning and running. The choices and the results of those choices varied. None of us were ready for the world but, we walked into what we couldn't avoid. We couldn't be kids forever.

So now I watch the NBA. It just so happens that Kobe Bryant, Jermaine O'Neal, Amare Stoudamire Lebron James and Kevin Garnett are among my favorite NBA players. Well what a coincidence? A group of superstars who made it to the NBA from High School. And in some of these cases, these guys came from places JUST like me.........places where college wasn't an ordinary piece of the puzzle for High School graduates. The NBA is just like life.........the choices and the results of those choices vary. And ultimately none of us are ready for the world but, we have to walk into what we can't avoid. We can't be kids forever.

I noticed yesterday that the NBA agreed on a new Labor deal. Kids will have to be 19 years old to play in the NBA now. So now there's an age limit on talent. So a kid who is 18 years old and fresh outta High School will have to wait a year to go to the NBA. That's cool. He'll just pick any school, pick any major and play ball for a year. He wont go to class, he has 3 tutors and they'll do his work for him. He'll get about $25,000 from boosters and an SUV with a few platinum chains to go along with it. A great "COLLEGE EXPERIENCE" as Bill Walton would like to say. That aint what I got when I went to college. There's no piece of paper that certifies that a kid has the skills set to be an NBA player. Its a judgement call. If you are GM, they pay you big bucks to make the RIGHT decision. NBA Commissioner David Stern says that the young kids are messing up the league and themselves. The league isn't messed up and since when has he or anyone else worried about a kid's well being? Dont worry about a 6'9" 250 lb kid. Worry about the 5'7" 150 lb kid who will be working at Verizon climbing poles or the 18 year old that might GO to Iraq but him coming home is UP in the air. If you wanna worry about the well being of kids, focus on THEM and not the one who has a 42 inch vertical. Im pretty sure he'll get a job SOMEWHERE.

The problem isn't kids messing their lives up.......its kids messing up the lives of others. NBA games were once an arena full of non-athletic rich people in high-priced seats watching players with half of their prestige, half of their money and half of their power entertain them. Now these players have double their money, double their prestige, double their power and they are half their age. THAT's the problem that people have. But they disguise it as "helping kids to not make a mistake and come out too early". No one complains when baseball players are drafted at 16 years of age. Hockey players are drafted as teens. We've got several underaged Tennis players. And a host of underage Golf players. No one complains. I guess cornrows, bentleys and white tees for 18 year kids with a "permanent tan" maybe a little too much for our good Commissioner to stomach. Let the kids, their parents, their professional representation and the General Managers of the franchises make the decision on whether or not they are ready to compete. And if they aren't ready but they try, its no different that any other job. But see the guy climbing poles at Verizon wont hop out of a Bentley with a chain on so no one has a problem with him going to work right after High School. The guy who might not make it back from Iraq, no one cares about if he is "READY" for the army. IN REALITY, THAT's the place of work that needs an increase on the age limit. But you know the saying "What can you do for your country?" I guess........People want you to be a man when they need something from you but, when you want something for yourself, folks find a way to say you aren't ready.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sal's Corner
"FELLAS: CAN WE TALK?"


I mean for real, can we? I need to holla atchu good dudes for a second. Some things being going on and I need to say something to you. Im not perfect, Im in the wrong as well on some of these items. But we need to talk.

* LEAVE HER ALONE - Everytime you see a woman by herself you wanna ease up on her. Like she looking for somebody to chill wit. Sometimes she just wanna chill. Like sometimes we wanna be left alone. And everytime she looks like a lonely dog on a cold day, that dont mean you gotta put on a cape and save her. See, some of yall wonder why these women are so hard on you. Yall put em on a pedestal. Let them women be. Maybe if they sit alone at lunch for about a week they would APPRECIATE a man "hollerin" at em after a while.

* LEAVE THE INTERNS ALONE - Yeah I had to single this one out. THIS is a lil different that just leaving women alone in general. Im talking to YOU....yes you LEROY. You are 42 years old Leroy. Keisha from Delaware State is not thinking about you or that short sleeve dress shirt and tie you wear everyday Leroy. Yall plot on these girls like it aint nuthin. She dont want you. If I could get that through our heads, we would have better shots at the women who DO want us.

* ....NOW IM HOT THEY ALL ON ME - I know alot of yall are runnin' around singing about how "Back then they didn't want me". Recognize one thing, dont get mad cause a lady dont want you when you are broke. You dont even like being in that position so why would someone else wanna join you? Granted, it's cool to have a young lady that will be there when you dont have alot but women dont always want your money when they look for successful men. They just want you to have something going on to justify their time they spend with you. Now I agree, some women are gold diggers and some........JUST HAVE STANDARDS. You can't knock a woman that likes you now all because you "came up". Imagine a woman all over you when you're broke? That means if you ever get rich........she gonna blow your money cause she was with you when your were broke and didnt mind so what would it mean to her to blow the money and success you've gained? Not alot.

* DONT START NUTTIN, WONT BE NUTTIN - So.......you're mad cause your girl calls you ALL DE TIME? She always wants you to go to the mall with her? She's always questioning where you are and who you are with? If you cant finish it...dont start it. See yall thought I was talking about fightin' some nigga, didnt you? No! See guys get mad at their women but the men are the problem. See, your name is Clyde. But for some reason you wanna be "Ken" or "Luke" or "Beau". You know, one of those guys that ladies read about in the E. Lynn Harris books or in them Tyler Perry plays. You try to be Mr. Perfect and you just Clyde. Mr. Perfect could never be you, so why you wanna be him? Answering your phone EVERYTIME, telling her your whereabouts at all times without her even asking.......JUST to show off when you first meet her. So she can run tell Kendra how good of a man you are. You want Kudos........get a candy bar! See it's cute at first. "Clyde, run to the mall with me". "Clyde, where you at"? "My mother need help moving the AC". They say men are dogs. And she is about to have you on a leash. I was once told "When you meet a woman, slap her.....so she can never say 'You dont treat me as good as you used to'". I dont promote domestic violence, just use some sense and realize you cant act like something you aren't forever.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

"STREET BIDNESS"
By Salvador Gabor


Experts within cities such as DC, Detroit, Cleveland and Newark are now revealing what mean street thugs, pushers and pimps have known all along. Dice rolling and Weed Smoking are two strategies used to conduct better bidness throughout the ghettos of the United States.

Our street team took it to the streets of DC in particular to see about this revelation of strategic growth and expansion within the mega-conglomorates and Filthy 500 Cliques and Crews in this city. "Its like niggas cant escape shootin dem dice" says Clifford Hicks aka "Pookie", an Associate Director of Sales with the Garfield Terrace Corporation. He went on the say "We've grown up with a generation who now depends on sources outside of our hood to buy crack for resale". Many local pushers have used dice games as a strategy to network with the major players in the drug game. "We've set up happy hour types of networking events where multi-thousandaires can come and shoot dice and smoke good weed in hopes of getting money, getting high, and getting more connects" says Rufus Simmons, Sales Commissioner of the Glassmanor Street Development Group. Many of these functions are set up to entice those who smoke good and hustle good. No need in entering a $25 a shot dice game if you dont have any money. Nor is it good to enter a "session" of guys smoking "Dat good purple" if you dont have money. "The idea is to eliminate broke niggas, mayne. Then seeing about what niggas got what work" says Donnell Brewster, temporarily residing as Chief Executive Officer of the Galveston Street Committee until Ray-Mo comes home.

One of the downfalls of this idea of network is the robbery rate. It has increased by 25% since the fall of 2004. Stockholders for many of these companies, especially Uptown have withdrawn interest in these companies. "I just dont feel like worrying about who sees me and getting shot at. If I aint love this dope THIS much I dont know if I'd be riding thru here" says Gladys Jenkins a stockholder in the Sherman Avenue Commission. Robbery has always held down the worth of many companies in the street. But the dice game strategies not only lure big money hustlas but also lurkers. Some companies such as the Saratoga, Montana & Brentwood, Inc. have increased funds dedicated to defense mechanisms and security but it's never 100%. "Ive had workers within the company be questioned and even injured due to tense feelings and skeptical opinions of motives" says Bay-Bay, spokesman for Saratoga, Montana & Brentwood, Inc.

Are non dice rollers and non smokers unable to grow in the streets? Many clues lead us to believe that this is the case. "Any hussla that refuses to roll dice and/or smoke da green is taking his name out of alot of bids to close major contracts with other up and coming nickel and dimers" says Old Tony from the Forest Creek Heroin Commission. Trust is a major factor. With the increasing presence of undercover officers, smoking weed and rolling dice for money builds trust amongst dope dealers. It should be said that NOT ALL undercovers keep it clean but these activities are great keys to separating the real from the fake in the streets.

Will bidness soar with these new networks? "I done met plenny of niggas from the southside and all around. My homies shoot da dice over on that side, I rides wit em and side bet all the time" Sayquan Holmes, Jr. Sales Apprentice currently interning with the Rittenhouse Group. Studies say that with the new networks being developed, the turn around rate for re-ups will be shorter. Salesmen of the street wont have to worry about if the only wholesaler they are normally engaged in bidness with will be arrested. There is no need to scramble looking for "work" in the meantime. A web of contacts have been made. All from a gamblin run and some good weed

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Sal's Corner: SPECIAL EDITION
"Its My Birthday"





Break out the Sparking Cider and the cheap cake. JUNE 14TH WAS MY BIRTHDAY. 26 is here. I said goodbye to 25, and hello to "Over the Hill". I'm not mad. I'm actually happy. My homie always says "Im excited about how life is gonna turn out" and for once I understand where he's coming from. I woke up this morning feeling different. Not happy, not sad but actually in a new mindset. See I BS'd alot thru the first 25. So "The NEXT 25" is my focus now. Joking around has been cool but I was told "If you can see it, it can happen" and Im "SEEING" alot of things in my mind now. Last year I talked about the things Ive learned. I have a few more things Ive learned so far


* NEVER SAY "YES" - Well, at least not too quick. Take your time before you enter a "situation" where you drop money or time on an investment or a BUST. Or even before you commit to doing anything for anybody. When asked always respond "Lemme see about it". See at this age, I dont need to be in a jam taking somebody across town or lending somebody $50 that I know I aint gonna see in 6 months. Waiting and thinking on it gives you time to bring out the best thoughts. Ever notice that EVERYTHING intelligent you coulda said to someone ALWAYS comes to mind in the car AFTER you done said "YES" and you RE-LIVING the convo in your mind? If someone doesnt give you the time to think about it, then they dont respect you. Plain and simple. Take your time. Nothing worth getting will pass away "THAT" quick.

* YOU GOTTA PAY TO PLAY - It's simple as that. I was told you gotta earn the right to have a good life. You pay in currency, pain and/or inconvenience to live how you want to. That's even if you make a fool of your life. Its uncomfortable shooting a needle in your arm the first time or taking that first SWIG of CISCO. Thats even more uncomfortable than sitting in a class for 90 minutes or waking up for work earlier than usual. Even if you are interested in entering a certain industry you have to research that industry. And that research sometimes costs you money. You just gotta remember one thing.....you've wasted money in the past with no gain in return, at least now you are giving yourself a chance to gain a return on the investment.

* YOU ARE ALWAYS GONNA WORK FOR SOMEBODY - If you dont work FOR somebody........you work AGAINST yourself. Saying that you dont want to work for anyone and you want your own "bidness" is SENSELESS if you never learn to work for others. Who will work for you? You will only attract other people as employees that will have the same exact spirit you have. Also if you never learn to work for anyone, you will never learn to work for your customers. Hierarchy is the name of the game in this world. Somebody is always above you. Believe that. Even if you own your own, you gotta answer to someone!

* LOVE LIFE - Do what you like to do in life. Many times we take our job and responsibilities as "routines". We'd rather sleep in. Im working to make SLEEP a "routine" and not a fun thing. We say "I just gotta go in here and do this 8 hours of work, I cant wait till I get off". I WANNA be able to say "Yeah I really dont wanna go to sleep but I got to for like 3 or 4 hours, I'll be back up by 6:00 though". Thats how life SHOULD be. But you gotta work to get to that point


All in all, I gotta work to make "THE NEXT 25" by BEST 25.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Monday, June 13, 2005

Sal's Corner
"LADIES: CAN WE TALK"


Ladies. I just need to speak to yall for a hot second. Now don't get me wrong......I got some things the FELLAS need to hear as well. But that's next week. But I need yall ears and eyes for a little while. No need for a major intro. I just need to rap to yall for a second

* DOING WHAT WE DO - Im noticing that alot of women like to boast about how they like sports and how they have knowledge of sports. Some of yall like to talk about how you play madden and all that. Ok, here's the deal. We just need you to do women stuff. JUST respect what we do. You don't have to lure a man by knowing how to play Playstation. If that was sexy, Craig woulda been slept wit Kenny. Alot of the problems you have with men deal with the fact that you try to adjust and adapt to what we do. Let us do us. We dont go out and take sewing classes and keep up on whats going on on America's Next Top Model for conversation pieces. We just leave yall alone during that hour. The last thing I wanna do is explain what "Offsides" is a MIYON times to you in one game. The same way you dont want to explain how ALL these skinny ugly girls get modeling jobs to me.

* YOU SURE? - See this is why when I get a wife Im STILL gonna fix my own plate at house events. Women have a tendency to ask you a MIYON (million) times if you want something. "You want some ribs?" "You sure?" "UMMMM these ribs are good, want some?" "You just HAVE to try these, here try some?" FELLAS, I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU WANT to say "B*TCH is it the N or the O that got you confused when I said NO?" Fellas, we are gentlemen. So we cant speak like that. But ladies.....let me be. I KNOW when I want ribs, crabs, steaks or whatever other type food thats gonna mess up my white tee-shirt

* WHAT BAIT ARE YOU USING - A great man once told me, "If you arent catching the right fish, change your bait, the only thing you can catch with raw meat is a dog". Ladies, lowcut shirts and high skirts aren't gonna help you find your "KING". Every woman talkin' bout "Im a cut above the rest". "Im looking for my Knight and Shining Armour". I said "Girl you need to go up to the Car Wash at about 8:30.......thats the only way you gonna see some shining armour at night". Ladies yall are funny. After 28, yall start talking all this "Royalty" talk. Princes, Kings, Queens and so forth. Girl you from Brooklyn. You musta ate too many CASTLE Burgers.

* TIME LIMITS - "I dont have sex during the first 6 months". (Sal shakes his head as he reads and types this one). Sit down woman. SIT! The only time limit is waiting on marriage. Let me further break this down. See I wasn't born yesterday. And chances are, you aren't the first woman Ive met and dealt with. So if your time limit is put in place to possibly eliminate all guys who JUST wanna have sex......you have been misled. Speaking from a general male perspective, if I REALLY wanna have sex with you, I'll wait it out. I might even make it a cycle. The lady I met 8 months ago with your same rule, Im NOW sleeping with. So while Im waiting out your 6 months, Im laying with her. So Im cool for now. We can go out, I take you home. You thinking "He aint even come on to me, he respect me". So once your 6 month period is up, im a be sleeping with you while waiting on the next girl to end her "cycle". Its stupid. Dont put some time limit on love thinking thats gonna work. Ladies I aint tryna let you down and think all guys are dogs. FELLAS, I aint hating on you. Im just tired of women have a "stopwatch" on what they are gonna do. Ladies yall setting yourselves up. This is not a game of time.

* "IM JUST TIRED OF GAMES" - My homie sent me a link to a "Personal's" page. Being that im single Im not sure if he was tryna send me a signal or what? That's neither here nor there but, I looked at the site. All these ladies talking about "IM JUST TIRED OF GAMES". Men read that as one or two things....."SHE TRYNA GET DOWN" or "SOMEBODY DONE BEAT HER DOWN". Down aint a good look or direction for you sweetie. Boo, you'll scare the man off talking like that. Yeah when we were 21 that was cool. You might come home from college, meet you a lil nice college dude while yall interning together. You been battered and he just wanna be your savior, cause that's what nice, YOUNG, inexperienced guys do. But when you are 32 on the "INNER-Net" aka "Nigganet.com", Donnie that works at the Dept of Labor with a kid or two himself aint got time for your rollercoaster tales of love. The less you tell and give off, the more likely he will like you. I mean I know its hard on yall. You thought you were the "queen to be", now you gotta drop your pride and post a pic on the Net, all the while hoping nobody at the job sees you. Like my mother once said "I gotta trick for you". These guys at your job ARE looking on them personals pages. TRUST ME. You can have an uppidity attitude cause you making $70,000 but walk outside and get sassy wit Craig from the mail room. He gonna ask you "Aint you SlutMuffin80801 off BlackPlanet?"

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Sal's Corner
"JIM CROW IS ALIVE IN 2005"

I was riding in a truck with a few friends recently in the downtown D.C. Area. We all noticed that many cars were parked in a lot in the middle of the grass area near the "Mall" right by the "Monument". We pondered upon the question of how the cars got there. A friend then said "We'll never know, that's something that white folks talk about at THEIR meetings". Then my other friend said "Well you know.......JIM CROW is ALIVE in 2005". And I begin to put "2 and 2 together" and I realized that maybe Caucasian folk do have meetings and discuss issues that other races will never know about. I began to wonder exactly WHERE do they meet? Who is the president of the society? Whats the society's name? But then I just figured I'd focus on some of the issues at hand in the "White People's Meetings and Weekly Briefings". The following are some of the issues Im sure they speak on

* BATTERIES - Have you ever seen a White person get a "jump" for their car? ....
Exactly, I thought you probably hadn't seen it either. I knew I wasn't the only one that noticed that. Maybe you didn't notice but, White folks NEVER have or need Jumper Cables. I think battery malfunctions are put in typical cars that black folks drive so we can spend money on batteries. Maybe Im wrong but for some reason, Chrysler LeBaron's, Chevy Caprice's, Delta 88's and Buick LeSabre's always need a jump. It's always a NIGGA TYPE car in need of a battery charge. You never see Volvo's, Audi's or Volkswagen's on the side of the road. The "White People's Meetings and Weekly Briefings" must have this at the top of their agenda forums

* BOATS - Ive been to the beach. Ive seen people having fun on boats in the water. And then I thought, "WHY dont Black folk have their boats out in the water?" "Do we have boats?" THEN it hit me, ALL of our boats be in our FRONT YARDS! See back in the 70's, Black folk started getting a lil money. Got real sassy and cute and wanted to start playing golf and throwing martini parties and then said "Let's get some Boats too". And they got the boats, they went out and sailed....then the boat breaks down. Being the niggers that we are, we think Ray from 'round de corner can fix it just because he USED to work at Pep Boys. The whole time, RAY swept the floors in the main part of the store. So 30 years later, them boats are STILL in the FRONT YARD. This too is another topic discussed at "White People's Meetings and Weekly Briefings". They are working to keep up confused about how to get our boats fixed

* CHURCH CONDUCT - God must be White. Because it seems like White folk have a direct line to God. Maybe he gives us the house line and gives white folk the two-way and cell phone to reach him at all times. I feel this way because, he can give White folks the Holy Ghost without them tearing up the sanctuary. They can receive it and sit wit it! We got to get up and cause the deacons to have to refurbish the entire tabernacle. Black folk, why cant we just praise God in our 2 feet radius? When we gonna get that down pat? HUH?

* PARKING AT GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS - You dont NEVER see no black people with their car outside buildings on the meter. I think its something they put in Black peoples' food. It makes us sleep late. NO black person gets to work at 6:00 AM to get a space downtown. Only black folks that get to work that early are the security guards and bus drivers. Why you think all of us be on the train and buses in the morning. The white folks got all the parking spaces! That's why. And they not giving you a parking pass underground. You gotta be a pretty big nigger in the office to park downstairs. It's almost like the parking level has a forcefield that picks up on the smell of Chittlin's, Watermelon, Chicken and Black Magic shaving cream. REALLY, I think they pass out all the passes at the "White People's Meetings and Weekly Briefings".


BUT BLACK FOLKS..........THERE IS A HOPE

We have our meetings too! And we discuss some things White folks will never figure out.



* ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION - One thing they are NOT covering at the "White People's Meetings and Weekly Briefings" is how to handle liquor. A White Drunk is different than a Black Drunk. A White type of drunk is scary. You ever been to a white graduation? Its always a dedication to some kid killed that year in an accident that shoulda been graduating that day. Did you know CABS were originally made for the purpose of picking up drunk white people. Ray that used to work at Pep Boys told me that......anyways

* DANCING - Watching a white person dance is like watching two older kids throwing a ball over a baby's head. The baby never quite catches on. He's moving and tryna catch it but he's always a day late and a dollar short. That's all I'll say about that

* KIDS - White people confuse me. They NEVER want their kids. But they always want somebody elses. How you gonna kill your own kids.......then snatch another kid from a lady who just gave birth. We sometimes wanna kill our kids but for God's sake if I EVER could get rid of Lil Marquis, Im not turning around and tryna kill "Baby Man Man".

* WRESTLING - We still aint told them that wrestling is fake. Should we tell em?


The preceeding message was not meant to be racist but it definitely was meant to be totally and utterly ignorant. Thanks for your time. ALL of it.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

"A Deep Look Into NJDKHTA Pt. 1: The Pathless Teachings of Dontrell"
By Salvador Gabor


Last week I introduced many of you to a society known as NJDKHTA. Some refer to it as "Niggas Just Dont Know How To Act". It's a society of young men and women who have no thought for being kosher or respectful about how they conduct themselves. This ghetto society has somewhat of a "Holy Trinity". The first and most important of the "Trinity" is "THE PATHLESS TEACHINGS OF DONTRELL". In life you have your thoughts/beliefs, actions and language. "The Pathless Teachings of Dontrell" deal with the thoughts and beliefs of NJDKHTA.

The Teachings of Dontrell are deemed pathless because they don't lead the NJDKHTA people in a positive direction. They don't even lead them in a negative direction. It's just disarray. Just to be clear, Dontrell is not a person but, he represents a mindset within people. A pathless mindset I might add.

The first basic teaching of Dontrell is that "It's all about me". I have to shine at all times. If it doesn't go my way, it's not going down. This basic teaching keeps our ghetto people down. They can not join forces and make positive moves due to everyone having to be the lead. Simple decisions such as "Who gets to ride in the Family Car" at the funeral can cause unnecessary commotion. Cute girls hanging with big ugly girls for more attention. "Or I gotta pop the most bottles on your birthday". Even the simple process of opening gifts at a baby shower can turn ugly when Kwanda wants everybody to pay attention as Sheka opens the gift from HER. Selfishness is what keeps these folks where they are

The second basic teaching of Dontrell is "Dont make me....". Violence runs rampid through NJDKHTA. Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated that "Violence is the language of the unheard". Nowadays people aren't even making attempts to be heard. The first sideways dialogue and the guns are pulled. People are willing to serve the rest of their life in jail behind respect from some nickel and dime street hustler that said something slick. I understand that you have to defend yourself and the honor of those you love but, at what cost?

The third basic teaching of Dontrell is "Im gonna do me regardless". Many of today's youth have a problem with authority. Our young men always stress the fact that "You need to respect me as a man". Men respect men. Respect is given first THEN received in return. This third basic teaching is as backwards as me walking away from you. We as African-Americans aren't usually in a position of ultimate power. And one of the items that strikes me is how young men covet their hair more than they do a job. I spoke to a young man who didn't want to cut his dreds/braids for the sake of getting a job. Im not against that sort of hair growth but, my point to him was that you or no one you know has control at a company. So saying "Im a do me" and rejecting an income for hair that you DIDN'T even grow for SPIRITUAL purposes is crazy. This is just ONE example of how many people within NJDKHTA express ideas that are meant for those in power when they don't have the power at all to say such things. When you do not have the upper hand, in some cases, you have to adjust. Who will adjust to you when you have no control at all?

Today we have covered the 3 basic teaching of Dontrell. They all revolve around me. I need to be seen, I will hurt you and I need to be respected. At no time does a member of NJDKHTA think about others. And THIS hurts our society as African-Americans.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"