Monday, May 09, 2005

Sal's Corner

2 2 2 2.......testing ONE TWO TWO TWO. Is this thing on? If so I got something to say. Listen up. Im not a person who is stereotypical but, I need to speak to a few groups of people. Im not racist, sexist or a bad person by any means. But by golly I gotta say something to some people. So if I had a chance to voice my opinion to ALL these people within these groups at once, then this is what I would say

HOMELESS PEOPLE: Sit down Nat. Let me talk to you for a brief moment. See Nat, I work. You don't. I make money, You don't. I wear nice clothes, you don't. I eat pretty well, you don't. And thats a bummer. BUT Nat. I pay bills, you don't. I get up at 7:00, you don't. I pay for my lunch, you don't. I pay taxes, you don't. See it takes money to make money. I spend money on my clothes, transportation and food. So the next time you see me walking down the street.........don't assume I have money to give to you. YES I have money....for MY lunch. I didn't think about NAT when I grabbed my lunch money off my dresser this morning. I don't eat for two and I don't pay for two. Now now Nat, don't get mad. I can "get you" sometimes.........SOME of the TIME. Not all the time. And I won't allow you to press me out in front of the Hot Bar downtown. "I KNOW you got some money". YES I DO Nat. But looka here, when you finally get up and shake that drunk leg off, we can get some money together.

MY CAUCASIAN NATION: Yes I have on a jacket/hat/sweater with a team name on it. NO I am NOT from Cincinnati just because I have the hat on. I am not from NY just because I have a Yankee Jacket on. And furthermore I might not even LIKE the team. I just LIKE to match. I wont limit my sporting gear to teams I like. And many other young people like myself just like to coordinate the fit, ya dig? So next time I'm in the elevator with you, "How bout dem Dodgers" might not catch my attention.

LADIES: He approached you. He tried to get your number. You rejected him. Now you see him again. You tap your friend. You tell her "That guy tried to talk to me". No.........he tried to SLEEP with you. Stop thinking every man LIKES you. It's cool to have confidence. But a man is gonna take his shot. And you were the basket he was tryna land in. It's like basketball. People cut down the nets, but they really take the RIM with them. He might keep your panties but, once he's done you're just another RIM he slam dunked. Im not tryna shoot you down, im tryna put some realistic ideas in your head. Dont fall head over heels in love with yourself to the point where the amount of guys you reject makes you feel better about you. A guy asks you for the time and you think he wanna marry you. Keep it light and just be glad a guy's attention was caught by you.

DRUNK PEOPLE: You dont have to tap me to talk. I hear you. Im just not looking at you because the combination of your breath and funny faces got me looking elsewhere. But for real homie, dont keep tappin' me. You slappin' a dent into my shoulder big dogg. And you talkin a BUNCH of nonsense.

FOREIGN ENTREPRENUERS: I.E. Carryout Owners, Seafood Restaurants in Malls, Small Mom & Pop (Madre & Padre) stores........GIVE ME MORE NAPKINS. Yall like to serve the spiciest foods, with all this sauce and you put ONE lil thin napkin in my bag. Food be greasy, saucy, spicy and all that and yall got the nerve to be stingy on the napkins. I aint NEVER been to a carryout and not had to ask for MORE napkins. And yall get a lil attitude when I ask. As if Im asking for another wing for free. I know yall might use yall hands in yall culture for all that but adjust. Adjust to our culture. PLEASE. I just dont wanna walk around without old bay sauce on my lip when people see me.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"