Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Heavy Elevation"
By Salvador Gabor


Where are my big girls at? Where are my husky dudes at? I need to speak to yall right quick. I think we need to get together as a people. We need to voice our opinion. We need to speak out. And let this people know........WE LIKE TO GET "FLY" TOO.

"Fly" is a state of mind that is enhanced with how we look and where we are. "Fly" is linen outfits on the smooth sand beaches of Florida, Jamaica, California, Mexico, Greece and so forth. "Fly" is designer jeans and nice shirts at a restaurant with a jacket to go along with the ensemble on a cool summer evening. "Fly" is just.........."FLY". Your shoulders move when the word "Fly" is said. But why can't we get "fly" too?

It's a shame.........a few days ago I went inside of what is "SUPPOSED" to be a Men's Section of a clothing store. But I thought I was in the wrong section. The highest waist was a 33????? The length of the jeans were a 29 to 30????? Is this a pee-wee section or a MEN'S SECTION. If you expect a MAN to wear a 33 waist and a 29 length, you must have forgot one thing when you made that jean. We have a body part called..........testicles. And although they dont have their own lungs, they need to breathe. And once again I ask, why cant we get "fly" too?

Then you know as I think about getting "fly", I think back to places where "fly" people flock. As I stated earlier....Florida, Jamaica, California, Mexico, Greece and so forth are "fly" places for "fly" people. And I aint walking to Cancun so I gotta "FLY" to get there. But not in them slim seats. Horse Jockeys aint the only people traveling. Thats just a tidbit for Airlines. Forget them three sections across the plane...........make TWO sections and widen the seats.

I know what you are saying.........them out of shape people need to just lose weight. No them little people need to stop taking them XXL's items go to Kids R Us for your fits. And you'd think that stores would get the idea. There are NEVER any size 38 and 40 jeans left in the store. Maybe they're buying those out the store. Maybe no one wears a 33/29 jean. And maybe just maybe we should stock some more larger jeans. And furthermore, I'd ride in a trunk to Jamaica if I wanted to be UNCOMFORTABLE. You got big Glenda buying 2 tickets for a one woman trip cause her hips are too wide. Its a shame. Let Glenda get "fly". Let Big Steve at the Fish House get "fly". Let Uncle Bubba who can only wear sweats cause he cant find no jeans, get "fly". Let them peoples do them.


"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"


"TAKE YOUR NIGGER TO WORK DAY"
By Salvador Gabor


Attention: ALL African American Executive Employees.........The "Keep it Hood" Movement of America presents the First Annual "TAKE YOUR NIGGER TO WORK DAY", this Friday May 6th, 2005.

This announcement comes as a result of many African-American Executives acting as if they dont still have some "hood" in them. We want to invite these wealthy African-American people to expose themselves.......their REAL selves to their white counterparts. YES, bring your most NIGGERISH child/auntie/neighbor and/or friend that you have to work. It could even be your spouse for all we know. Show the caucasian comrads at work that you too speak slang. You too get drunk and play spades all night on Saturdays. You too enjoy Watermelon and Sunflower Seeds on a Sunny Day. Show your co-workers and colleagues that random niggerish people still sleep on your couch and ask for money.

SO come one come all.........calling all Niggers. Expose your "wanna be preppie" African-American Executives for a one day event of Niggery