Friday, May 06, 2005

"Desperate Housewives"
By Salvador Gabor


I moved to a bad neighborhood. Well not too bad. But some of my neighbors are rough. Rough-minded, rough-talking, rough-acting. No, there aren't any shootouts or anything like that. But, for some strange reason, this neighborhood isn't what it's cracked up to be. When I moved here naturally, the women of the block greeted me. They welcomed me with open arms. Cakes, pies, cookies, muffins.....the whole "sha-bang". But for some reason I regret opening up to these ladies. They showed me a side of life I NEVER thought I would or should see.

The first lady I met was "MISUNDERSTANDING". She was the neighborhood candy lady. She sold all the lollipops, juices, snacks and so forth in the neighborhood. She had good products but, she wasn't a good businesswoman. She let the kids get food without paying her. She let them develop tabs on her behalf. Sometimes she owed the kids. I mean it was a mess. Not mention she didnt speak very good english. So half the time no one knew what she was saying. I try to stay away from her now.

Then I met "MISCHIEF". She was the neighborhood whore. EVERYBODY wanted to get IN her. One of the older neighbors told me "All these young boys LOVE to get into some "MISCHIEF". I can't lie.....Ive dreamed about her. And on some late nights Ive wanted to knock on her door. She is a beautiful lady. Sultry, sexy and seductive. But I have to fight to stay clear of her. All the guys who lay with her end up locked up or dead. She has a way or dragging the worst out of the guys in the neighborhood. I was told she likes young guys. She wears em out till they are about 35-40. Then she lets em go. But they can't let her go. And she's always looking for some young boy to "give it to".

I've always wanted a BAD GIRL. That was until I met "MISBEHAVING". She is a BAD girl if I've ever seen one. "MISBEHAVING" is one of the younger ladies on the block. She gets her thrills from "MISCHIEF". She was taught to be the way she is from a VERY young age. She grew up in the neighborhood, got married and moved back. She's the type that wants to go outta town. She dont even want you to RENT a car. She wants you to STEAL one. She loves the racy feel that doing wrong brings. She is a staple in the community. Whenever a young girl acts up.......the mothers usually say "Girl you out here MISBEHAVING". You dont hear mothers telling their daughters "You out here MISS JONES'n" or "You around here MISS JACKSON'n" so you know "MISBEHAVING" is a bad mamma jamma.

There is ONE interesting house in the neighborhood. Two ladies live there. They are sisters. "MISLEAD" and "MISREAD" are their names. Now "MISLEAD" is usually thrown off by what "MISREAD" says about other people. "MISREAD" will walk the streets and talk. She will gather the wrong information and come back and tell "MISLEAD" about it all. But its ALL wrong info. "MISREAD" told "MISLEAD" that the meet & greet was on Sunday at 2:00 when it was on Saturday at 12:00.

But I met the worst one of all is "MISTAKE". She's the person that when you walk pass and she talks you to death. And you wish you never walked down that side of the street. She's the one who asks "How many more years you got in the College?" and you've been done for 4 years. She's the one that WON'T let you walk to the store without some conversation that will last for hours. You try not to even put your foot on her steps or hand on her rails. You try to make uncomfortable stances like you have to leave but "MISTAKE" doesnt care. You're the only one that will be walking by for the day so you will catch all the talk she has for the day

This is my neighborhood. I love it but I hate it. It always begins and ends the same. It started with a "MISUNDERSTANDING" then a little bit of "MISCHIEF". Then some "MISBEHAVING". That leads to something being "MISREAD" and you are "MISLEAD" and then a "MISTAKE" is made.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"