Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Belly Button Focus Group
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

As the nice weather makes it way upon us like pint of fart propelled by Grandma's old peas, it is pertinent that we are cognizant to those things that I tell you to be cognizant about. You can do as I say or keep thinking that cool mist from the trees aint squirrel piss. This being said the Belly Button Focus Group is a meeting of the minds that plans seasonal changes and notifys the masses of Black Nature's stop signs, yieldings, crosswalks and things of that sort.

One thing to look for as Black Nature removes that triple-fat goose for a mini-skirt, is dirty old men. They are out there, sucking their teeth, fondling toothpicks with their tongues, and grunting at all females bearing skin.

The Belly Button Focus Group would also like to bring attention to these New York Fried Chicken establishments. Why is it a New York Fried Chicken, and not North Carolina Fried Chicken. There is more than meets the eye. Aint no Chinese woman frying up better chicken wings than a black woman named Mable. There is something more to these fried factions, and they will be under indictment with a more leanient bureau of bunk aptitude.

The Belly Button Focus Group is also doing a study on those brothers who get those outdated haircuts. There is a nature trail that follows such outrageous decisions on style and character, and someone told them it was cute. These dudes still wearing these fatbacks, ducktails, and pompadoors are really setting a standard for the bammas of the world. They are committing bamma-genocide with these actions. This is much worse than any purple or burgundy 4-piece suit, but these haircuts and stylings are killing off these new aged bammas and really establishing a bamma-ful standard thus eliminating that lower tier of bammas trying to break into the Bamma Brotherhood with those snug green sweatpants.

Please stay tuned for more social-scientific notices from the Belly Button Focus Group, where with go with our gut, after first consulting our under-brow. Some great men wear their underwear outdoors, and behind every great man is a great woman, keep your eyes peeled for taters.