Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Sal's Corner

I know everyone wants to work and develop careers. And I am here to help you. YES, at a small fee of just reading this article, I can put you where you need to be. The following occupations aren't for you unless you REALLY insist. But if you arent sure and you are JUST thinking about getting into these industries, let me be the negative friend in the situation and give you my uninformed, unwarranted and unknowing opinion.

Public School Football Coach - IM ALL ABOUT helping the kids out. I really am. But this industry is TOUGH in a big city. If you live in Texas, you might be able to pull it off. BUT in a major city, at a public school..........I doubt it. First off, you're not gonna have but 22 players TOTAL. About 3 of them aint gonna have the grades. Now you got 19 players. 2 of em aint gonna be able to fit the uniforms so they gonna be out there with the helmet on but some size 61 sweatpants. 10 of them 19 players HAVE NEVER played before. Thats only 9 good players left. 3 of em gonna get hurt. Now we at 6. 2 will get suspended for fighting. Thats now a grand total of 4. I hate to be cruel but 1 player is gonna get killed. That leaves us at 3. One of the 3 is some dude that cant play but all he can do is kick. So now you got 2 players left and all you can do is tell one to hand the ball off to the other. It's a shame though. All the talented kids are in the stands. Either that or they'd rather played Jr. Varsity for 4 years at a Catholic School competing with 200 kids for 50 spots when they have a spot already at Malcolm X HS

Meter Maids - Why do they have to get cussed out? Why do THEY have to wear the small shorts with the hot vest on and the strap hat? I think the chief of police needs to be out there writing tickets in these cities across the country. I would be the most unproductive meter maid in the history of metermaidism. How you gonna mess somebody budget up like that. They get paid on Friday and they already $75 in the hole cause you out here writing tickets.

Black Actors - YES this can be a terrible industry for African-American actors in 2005. There are several problems. One being, rappers are taking the actors' jobs. Well you cant fault the rapper. All the acting school in the world cant get you a job for a violent movie over a former drug dealer who actually lived the life you studied. Secondly, the same Black Actors get roles for about 24-30 months then they phase out. There was one point where you couldnt go to a movie without seeing a preview for a movie starring Morris Chestnut and/or Shemar Moore. Now its Jamie Foxx and Nick Cannon's go-round. And more than anything else, look at the roles and movies we are playing in. The next movie that comes out is bound to be about some old man who cuts his grandkids' hair and shapes their fades up with bowls.

Drug Dealers - This USED to be a lucrative environment for young men in the 80's and early to mid 90's. Now its dry. Some guys dont make more than you do on your two-week check. And yeah they dont get taxed but all the drinks and weed you need to stay outside all day is tax enough. Then there are no benefits in drug dealing. No insurance or pension plans. No days off with pay. You duck and dodge police. And everything is in TeKeisha's name so you short out of luck if you go in the jail.

Priests - This is a tough industry. The obvious reasons are 1) you cant get married 2) That means no sex 3) You live in a house with a bunch of women who walk around like they have a comforter on them at all times and you cant do anything with them. But besides that you gotta sit here in a booth the size of a Porta-John an listen to people tell you what they did and then you gotta go to GOD for them to ask for forgiveness. I mean, if I was a priest, I would tell people "Look man, just ask him yourself". How do priests remember ALL those requests to God. I know I have a hard time taking orders for McDonald's runs or Carry-Out runs. Im quick to tell you "RIDE WITH ME or go yourself and pick up your food". So I KNOW a million and one prayer requests are tough. I dont need them praying for me. They might mess my order up. "I asked for Two SUV's with a Three Car Garage........not two Mini Coopers and a Handicap sticker"

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"