Monday, March 21, 2005

Sal's Corner
"Play Ball"

You know........I played baseball growing up as a kid and it became my favorite sport to play. I've played every position on an organized level. I've pitched, played catcher, played the infield and played the outfield. And one thing I've learned is that you have to adjust you game for whatever position you are in. I've also learned that where you play determines how you should react to the ball.


In life I think we as men are like baseballs being hit into the field. I think many times we tend to go ANY and EVERYwhere according to the velocity of the pitch and the power of the batter. I feel that women sometimes are in the position to field the ball but sometimes make the wrong moves inturn that hurts them physically and emotionally. So today I will describe some of the positions on this "Baseball field" we call life and how to play those positions



* Outfield - This is one of the first areas I learned to play as a child. The Outfield is the last defense for the fielding team. Whenever playing the outfield.........the first step is BACK. You never step forward on the sound out the bat hitting the ball. ALWAYS step back. Most women who play the "outfield" are usually laid back women. But.........sometimes you want a certain "ball" SO bad that you run forward as soon as the bat cracks. And you end up out of position and the "ball" goes over your head. Sure there will be some "balls" that drop in front of you..........BUT if you move UP too quick it may go over your head and no one is there behind you.

* Catcher - Now this is a difficult position to play. Your knees wear on you and you have to wear ALOT of equipment. And alot of times you catch the ball but you hardly ever get a chance to field the "ball" to get an "out". See every player touches the ball but "fielding" the "ball" for the out isnt as easy for the catcher. The Catcher only gets to throw runners out when they steal or the catcher may get some action if the ball is hit short on bunted. But for the most part if you are a catcher you main concern is catching the pitch. Most "female FRIENDS" are Catchers. They play BEHIND the plate. They are basically BEHIND the game. The "ball" goes out in the field ALL game but it never stays there. The Catcher runs after the "ball" when it's fouled off or when the pitch is wild. They run and get us when we need them. They are there for us when we wanna know "WHY do women do this or.........why do yall do that?". We beat up on them and test our theories on them thats why they need all that equipment.

* 1st Base - A player who plays at 1st doesnt move much. The area that he/she has to cover is NOT alot. Your main objective is to catch all the balls thrown to you by the infielders that have fielded "balls" for outs. When a base runner is on you stay even CLOSER to the base to keep them from stealing. This is a position for the real pretty girls. They end up with MOST of the "balls". They dont have to move much. They dont tend to get down and dirty like the rest of the team. And they just stand there and wait for the other players to scoop the "ball" up and it comes their way.

* Middle Infielder - These are the players that are at 2nd Base and Shortstop. They are the two infielders that play the deepest in the infield. Their first step is normally forward. They ATTACK the "ball". They CANT let the "ball" play them. If they do decide to lay back, they MUST have a strong arm to make the throw to 1st Base. These are the kinda women who have alot of men come their way but they are smooth enough to be able to handle the chase that men give. They usually react to men well and if they need to have back up off of a man and just have a strong enough arm to put them in their place they can or they can run up on a man and sweep him off their feet.

* 3rd Base - This is often referred to as the "HOT Corner". There is NO other fielder on the field that has a tougher time with the "ball" than the player at 3rd base. These balls are SHOT off the bat at the 3rd Base player. AND ontop of having to deal with hard shots down the line you have to have one of the strongest arms on the field because you have to throw ALL the way across the infield. I played 3rd Base for 3 years in High School and at that position, you HAVE to get on your knees to stop balls. Your glove is NOT always the primary stopper of the "ball". If you play 3rd the RIGHT way you SHALL get dirty. Ive had bruises all over my body from playing that positions. Baseballs have hit my shin, knees, shoulder and best believe you NEED a "CUP" to play 3rd as well. These are mostly married women. They are battered emotionally by men who take them for granted because they are already married. These women wash clothes, take care of kids and do ANY and EVERY thing for the men they love. You will get battered and bruised at that position.

* Pitcher - This is the most popular player on the field. The game starts with the Pitcher and plays is started by the pitcher. There are only TWO problems with playing pitcher. #1, that "ball" is thrown HARD by the pitcher but, if its hit RIGHT back to the pitcher, they have a hard time fielding it. In other words you have SOME women who like to BE seen, like to BE in on everything but, when that "ball" comes back AS fast.......they cant take the heat. #2, most pitchers start the game but they cant finish. A pitcher is usually taken out of before the end of the game. Most pitchers dont have the stamina to throw the WHOLE game. So relief pitchers come into the game. What most women who play this role dont understand is.......YES you are the DIVA on the stage of life for a WHILE. YES you will get the attention for a WHILE but.........at some point, someone relieves you of your duties. Alot of times these women THROW hard early and often and wear themselves out. And after all the rides in the big cars with the big celebrities, after ALL the VIP rooms, after all the weekend getaways....somehow that "ball" wont be in your hand when the game is finally over and its time for you to stop playing.

* The Fan - The Fan came to the game to SEE the game. Of course you might bring a glove along just in case a "ball" flies out of the park. You dont really anticipate it but it CAN happen. And then that ONE shot flies out. The outfielder cant get it. The infield never had a chance. He the catcher told the pitcher to throw it a little wider, maybe it wouldnt have been hit as far. The pitcher being so off target is the reason why its gone.............AND after ALL of that the FAN gets the "ball" because of the Home Run. And even though the chances are less that the Fan will get a "ball", somehow they appreciate it MORE than the players themselves. All you ladies out there, walking around just out and about, more than likely its when you arent looking or expecting it that a "ball" fell in your lap. It may have knocked over your nachos in the process but so what! While all the players see "baseballs" ALL game long how many "baseballs" will fall in your lap in a lifetime?


Its ok to play ANY position on the field. Just know what comes along with the territory. Even if you are a fan you may have one hit to you. That "BAT" is life. And it sends "baseballs" to you in all types of ways. Be ready. Have you glove with you. And stay in front of the "ball"

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"