Friday, March 04, 2005

"Film Critics"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.




ShaRon & Curtis Longfellow are resident film critics for many inner cities. They are known to critique cinema of all kind. They reside in the Shaw area of Washington, DC. Their location puts them cinematographically close to the Lincoln and Warner Theatres. These 2 mischievious niggas originally hail from Detroit where they left a medicore career as blacksploitation directors and producers to review films across the country.

The first movie they saw was "Tuskegee Blues". This story was an autobiography of a young music student at Tuskegee trying to put his way through college as a Blues pianist by day and a jewel thief by night. It was a very touching and action-packed filled with a great soundtrack by Marquis and the Samsonites. ShaRon's main complaint, was that the movie didn't delve into the Tuskegee stripping industry which thrives on Thursday nights at the Black Jasper gentlemen's club. All in all it was a good movie that these two critics gave two butts up. (When something is cool they take a smoke on their square which cause the butts to go up.)

The next movie was "James Brown Live Underwater". This was a documentary of a concert James Brown did in Memphis on a Riverboat back in 1973. The concert was in the basement of the ship, which was actually underwater. They showed some of James Brown's finest groupies doing the things that groupies do. Catfights insued, and naked groupies fought in the bathroom of the casino. Action-packed, and filled with good music, it was almost like Foxy Brown with a concert. They loved this movie.

The last movie they saw was "Bathing Suit Tanya". This adult drama was filled with plenty of love making and girls in bikinis. They didn't finish it though, because Curtis' wife came in, and she don't let them watch no "training films" in the house, well at least not before 11:30.

These movies can't be rented at Blockbuster, but write us at Stank Cinema, 750 Webster St, NW Washington, DC 20011, and we will fill any order, not to mention our fabulous collection of Morgan Freeman, and Elvira Hicks-Tubman movies.