Monday, February 14, 2005

Sal's Corner
"Lessons in Love 101"

Im not a love doctor. Im not a love expert. Hey.....I'm not even in a relationship but.......I did stay at a Red Roof Inn.'s that time again. Valentine's Day. The day that often times defines relationships. Since we are talking about love, I wanted to say a few things about the topic from my view point. Let me add that this is JUST my viewpoint. But are my lessons in love

* Understand what LOVE is - Alot of people are in LUST, INFATUATION or just simply feel that if I can't have him/her.......nobody can. Dont just say "I Love You". Find out what Love is. Reflect back on your life and think of those family members, friends and past "special friends" who you feel have loved you. Think about why you thought their feelings for you were loving feelings. Take note of those actions, words and thoughts of kindness relayed to you through those special people. THEN from that, show love to the one you're with now.

* Be Happy Single First - Never rely on a Human Being to bring happiness. We are mortals. We die, or we leave you at some point. It's simple as that.

* Love yourself first and foremost - You've already found out what LOVE is.........then you are happy while being single but if you find someone........hey........stay true to you. If things go sour....oh well. You can't always brush off EVERYTHING like it's nothing. We aren't robots but...........if someone doesnt like you, it aint the end of the world. Understand your worth.

* Tip for Ladies: Stop telling these guys about who you used to mess with. Yall kill me. We mention some athlete or entertainer and yall buss out......."YEAH I used to talk to him". "He tried to get my number". "I went out with him one time". "He has a nice house.......Keisha and I went over there once". WE DONT WANNA HEAR THAT. Unless I point out some Point Guard on TV and ASK YOU did you mess with him.......dont tell me. Yall be thinking that's cute too. The whole time, we are sitting there with the tight face.......cause we think you and that Wide Receiver from the Bengals mighta REALLY did something. We thinking "Did she do this?" "Did she do THAT". "Is it ON TAPE". Dont reveal TOO MUCH to us. Some things we just cant take. Girls in big cities like LA, NY and DC are the worst. They quick to say they was with Stephon Marbury, Rod Strickland or Shaq or somebody. We be in the house scared to watch Basketball cause we cant even stomach watching the Knicks play the Lakers. In the future just hold some things in.

* Tip for Fellas: MAKE THE DECISION. About 4 or 5 years ago, a revelation came upon me. Women like men who are decisive. They hate a man who can't make THE decision. Even when it comes down to where you guys go out to eat. Or what you want to eat for dinner. And for the past 4 or 5 years I thought that was the stupidest thing known to man. I always thought.........WHY........Does it really matter. I didn't care where we ate, as long as I was with a young lady that I took interest just didnt matter. Fish or chicken? Steak or Ribs? Collard greens or Okra? I didnt care. Italian or Chinese? Soul Food or Gourmet? Your momma's house or My momma's. It didnt matter. But it matters to women. They like to give challenges but they dont enjoy taking a challenge. So a decision to them could take a while. They'd rather US be the one to make it. They are fully capable of making it but, they would MUCH rather us make it. And now that I'm older.....I understand that we HAVE to make the decision or else.........Or else, we'll be riding around for 2 hours looking for a parking space right in front of the Costco. YES fellas, we have to make the decisions. JUST for that reason. You ride with your woman to the store and let her decide where we should park. She'll wait RIGHT in front of the store on Christmas Eve.......with ALL intentions on parking right in front of the store. We gotta step in and say "It's ok to park a block away". "Does this look nice on me?" "Which dress looks better?"..........You better make the decision or you gonna be sitting in the "husband section" of the mall ALL SATURDAY LONG. It's the little decisions that mean ALOT and women will take all day. Just step in and make a decision and you can save alot of time if you just step up.

Bonus: This is no charge. I'll give it to you for free.

*** LOVE your mate like you love your kids, TREAT them like you treat your friends: How do you love your kids? With all your heart. No matter how much they DONT appreciate your love, you still love them. You love them KNOWING one day they will appreciate it. How do you treat your friends? You treat them as adults. You give them space. You are usually understanding to your friends and their needs to venture and do things that are specific to them.

But you know what WE do. We LOVE our mates like we love our friends and TREAT them like we treat our kids. With our friends, we love them but they come and go. Sometimes we lose contact. Sometimes we beef over petty issues. And then when you get 50 or 60, you don't have many friends to call on. They are just faces in the wind. And we treat our kids.......LIKE KIDS. They have to obey our rules. There is no negotiation. They obey US and we dont listen to them. WE RUN the show. Parent to child relationships aren't democratic by a long shot.

It's just a few thoughts of mine on this Valentine's Day. Don't mind me........"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"