Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sal's Corner
"THE BLACK WOMAN"


She is the most interesting creature known to man. Every Black woman is unique but, alot of them have the same characteristics. Black men love the Black Woman. White Men are intrigued by the Black Woman. Spanish Men sometimes step in place of the Black man for the Black Woman. AND the Chinese man usually makes ALOT of money off the Black Woman. All in all She is our woman. Let's talk about "THE BLACK WOMAN"


* The Bigger The Better - BIG Black Women get more action with men than any other women alive. It aint nothing like a sweet smelling, good cooking, Big woman to take care of you. White Women who are big wanna lose weight. Spanish women who are big come close but the sex appeal of a BIG Black Woman is unmatched. When other BIG women shy away it's the BLACK woman who is in the middle of the floor doing the Humpty Hump. When other BIG women give up.....it is the Black Woman trying to get them stretch pants on. Knowing her butt is as wide as a bus but....she will get them jeans on.

* What Can a Man DO? - Attention to all men of other races. They say once you go black, you dont go back...............when you make that choice of dating a black woman.........be prepared. A Black woman will drive you crazy if you aint ready. You ever notice that Black Men go gray alot faster than other men? Niggas be like 21, when thinning hairlines and gray hair. The volume of a Black Woman's voice is deafening. Dont take out that trash and see what happens. "LEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY..........WHERE ARE YOU?". I'd rather be stabbed than hear a Black Woman have to raise her voice. Sometimes you dont know WHAT to do. Just get out of a Black Woman's way. Trust and believe if you cant get it done, she will pick you up and move you so SHE can.

* Chastisement - You will not get hit with the bare hand of a Black Woman. She keeps her nails done too often for that. But a High Heel Shoe, belt, extension cord, tree branch or a Nintendo controller will suffice. And she HAS to talk to you while she beats you. And at some point "I told you" will be said. This could be a NEW crime you committed and she'll say "DIDNT I TELL YOU........."

* A BLACK WOMAN WITH POWER - You ever ran into a Black Female Cop? A Black Female Judge? A Black Female Inspector of any sorts? I guess not.........all of those people have no access to computers to read this.......cause they all are locked up. Black women in power means death to anyone who opposes them. I get pulled over and I see a Black Female Cop walking to my car I almost begin to shed tears. You are going DOWN believe that.

* Crying in front of a Black Woman - Three Words: DONT DO IT. If she has an attitude and you buss out in tears you might just hear her say "Shut up you big B*TCH!". The Black Woman cant stand to see no man cry. That might work with other women but the BLACK WOMAN...........OH NO. You better be a man about it. Man up nigga!

* Eating Out - The Black Woman is the hardest person to please when you go out to eat. They always wanna see the manager. Its ALWAYS something in their food too. Im 25 years old and (God Bless) Ive never known a man to have something in his food. Women.........ahhhemm...BLACK WOMEN ALWAYS got something in their food. Hair, bugs, or something. They can't never go out or order in and everything go good. They get food poisoning or SOMETHING from time to time. They always picky on WHO cooked the food. "I dont like Lorraine's Egg Salad". "Did Moochie make that? If so Im OK". "Vanessa's kitchen aint clean enough for me". I dont know why yall trippin, we ALL nasty when it come down to it. You dont wash your hands when you had em all in your nose and no one is home. But I aint gonna call yall out.......I love yall anyway.

This article was all in fun and games. What's most important to me is that Black Women have been essential to my well being. From my mother to my sisters, all the way to those people who I have worked with. I've always had a strong BLACK woman put in my path and it's helped me. We are ALL thankful for the power that BLACK women have within. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"