Thursday, February 03, 2005

Negresscent Classifieds
by: Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Brother Donald McCall is an independent worker in the Black Government. For those of you who are unaware, the Black Government gets things done, where the Government fails. Brother McCall has been a chef, cafeteria worker, masseuse, among other things for many years. His adaptation of "knuckling up" at the Soft Hands Massagment and Big Fellas Moving Company has earned him the Soft Hands Successman of the Year award for three years running.

Brother McCall is also a trained killer in the art KuCumBro, an art of death-striking using kitchen goods and equipment. He was once sent on a mission by Huey Newton himself to eliminate a racist presence in Boston after a bad Red Sox loss. Brother McCall eliminated the target a one Dick McDonald, in a back alley using a trash can a squash full of razor blades.

Brother McCall is issuing resumes and claim slips for those needing his service, whether it is killing or sandwich assembly. He was recently let go from Subway because his sandwich designs were thought to be too radical. A lover of BBQ sauce, pork, and cole slaw, Subway found themselves not quite ready for the types of sandwiches Brother McCall prepared. His ColeTrain with cheese, a delicious Michelob-aged corned beef sandwich with swiss cheese served with potato salad was a little too extreme for the squares at Subway. A down to earth man whose has prepared chicken soup for a group he later killed, is looking for work and needs your help. If you need a killer or a cook he's your man. Call 301-455-3534 xBBQ on your touch tone phone.