"Black History Month Part 1: Funny Valentines"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.
The month of February has come, and everyone is worried about finding love, lust, and/or romance over some cheap wine on the warm hood of a cold car. The Love Month, where teddy bears and chocolate are swapped and trips to the Poconos are conjured up at a moments notice. Ahh the smell the love in the snow, playful snowballs being thrown as naked lovers play frisky games. Isn't this what February is all about.
If that is what February means to you, then you are sadly mistaken. February is a time for incense and reflection. Light the "khush", and grab a beer of your choice, let's talk. Let's talk about Blacks and Black Love, that is what February is about. It is a month of enjoying one another, fellas when you are pumping your gas, pull on in the car wash and make some Gas Station Love while nobody's looking. Sit back and think about all the funny valentine's those oh so funny valentines. When you and Linda got caught humping outside the car on the basketball court. How about the time you thought you were going to spend Valentine's Day alone, so you went to the bar to watch the game, and wound up in the kitchen with Shelly the waitress. What about the Valentine's Day you wound up with your date's mother "helping her out in the kitchen".
Oh those Valentine's those funny Valentine's, those days when you wind up with the 47 year old neighbor after you shoveled your front. What about when you where in 10th grade and snuck into the girl's bathroom for some 12th grade tutoring. Aint February beautiful, the time for black love. Ashford & Simpson is playing and things are getting hot and heavy in the station wagon. You've snuck in Asia's window and lil Toots is sleep. Ahh the smell of juvenile adventure, welcome to February. The time for tongue-kisses so deep that you wind up with Thelma's Bazooka gum.
Enter February the month where love and snow bring sniffles and snot, kisses and hugs are thick as blood clots, ripples keep spreading thru love's lake and each time you're with her your heart beats as hard as the earth quakes. The focus of February is oftentimes Love, sometimes drunken, and other times half-clothed, and always more fun when her lawn is half mowed. Happy loving you Cupid's, Athena's, and Zeus' just don't coke yourself in one of lust's nooses.
P.S. Don't frown upon the not-so-attractive because every booger gets picked, and some get eaten