Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Sal's Corner
"How Cheap....REAL Cheap" Part 2

For those who don't know we have been talking about talk and how cheap it is. There are several forms of talk. We discussed a few last week. Now we shall continue

* "Jail" Talk - This takes two forms of talk. One is the people who are IN jail talking about "ASALAAM A LAKEM" or "PRAISE GOD" but they got their eye on that Remy bottle as soon as they get home. Can tell you every verse from 1st and 2nd Chronicles but cant get em to church when they are home. "Im a do better" but you back pumpin. Don't rap me up. Then you got the people who been home for 10 years still talkin bout "Yeah back when I was IN". Every once in a while they mention the "Chow Hall" or "Yeah me and my celly used to have push up contests" or how some random nigga "faked on me" and "I hate to split em wide open". It's over......either you wanna go back or stop rappin about it.

* "Kid" Talk - People with kids.......yall iritate us people without kids. Can we have a 10 minute convo without "Lil Ricky" coming up. I'm tired of hearing "You know Ricky is teething now.........he is so smart..........he says the craziest things". But what's even worst is when two parents get together. They start talking in code. All you start hearing is HMO's and how many MONTHS their child is. If he/she is over a year old........no need to keep saying their age in months. "Oh Ricky is 23 months".........NO .....that lil nigga bout to be 2 in a few weeks OK Trisha. You shouldnt be walking around saying no baby is 23 months!

* "Church" Talk - If you standing in front of a liquor store or crack house, do me a favor........a big favor.........dont talk about Jesus. I mean he is everywhere but don't talk about the Bible and you got a bag of weed ready to roll up. Im not perfect but I respect that man more than that to be talking when Im crazy in the wrong. Then got the nerve to curse while talking about Jesus. "yeah these dudes out here trippin, that SH*T in the bible.........go get a bible and read that Muthaf*ckin verse I was tellin you about........aye Black roll that weed though".

* "Boyfriend" Talk - Women always talk about their boyfriends to another man that has no care in the world for their relationship. I don't wanna hear about what Donte wont do. Why Donte wont commit? Why Donte didnt invite you to the Super Bowl party? Dion got engaged with his girlfriend, why Donte aint buy me no ring yet? Donte mother gets on my nerves. I just cant get Donte to go to church. Now either she is saying ALL that bad stuff of ALL of the good stuff. Donte bought me this tennis bracelet. Donte cooked me dinner Friday night. Donte's new car is so nice. It gets to the point where she might just call you Donte after a while.

* "9-5" Talk - Everybody want their own bidness. Everybody hate their boss. Everybody hate their job. Everybody hate everything about working. But yall niggas love them checks. Can't tell you nothing on the 1st and 15th but every other day you mad. So you want your own bidness. Lemme tell you something.......checks aint guaranteed on your own bidness. You dont report to just ONE person on your own bidness. You dont have just ONE job to do on your own bidness. The fact is, you might not make NO money for a long time, you might have to report to an Agency instead of just one boss and you may have to do a job that normally would take several people to complete..ALL by yourself. This kinda talk is nonsense. Its usually talked on Sunday evenings and weekdays after 10:00 when you should be sleep but, you wanna stay up and talk to Alonzo all night instead of ironing your skirt for work tomorrow and going to sleep. You just mad that you aint gonna get 6 hours of sleep tonight so you blabbering on about nothing. Get up, take a shower and go to work.