Monday, January 24, 2005

Sal's Corner
"The BLACK Inauguration"

I aint gonna lie...........I got caught up..........caught up in the hype. A few months ago, I posted an article that led people to believe that we are closer than what we think to having a Black President. I ranted and raved about our affect on culture and how we influence other races and so forth. Said it with me...........HOGWASH. Yes, i'll be the first to admit it. I figured it all out during President George W. Bush's inauguration. I looked at the ceremonies and I said "No way will a BUNCH of white folks show a BLACK man that much love". There were so many ceremonies. Ceremony after ceremony praising one human being of a man. NO BLACK MAN will get that much love. Granted, a BLACK MAN might get voted in but he will be voted out after the inauguration. That will be the straw that broke the camel's back. Let's look at the Black Inauguration

* Time of Year - First off..........niggas aint standing outside in January. We gotta call Cash Money and get them to rent the Superdome out again. DC........not an chance playboy. The Jenkins' inauguration may have to be in JUNE. A Big cookout. Thats how "we" do anyway. We never have events on time anyway. We quick to elope and have a reception 5 months later. Have a house warming right before we get evicted. Birthday is in the beginning of March, party aint till April. So June is a good look for "our" inauguration. The ONLY reason we would have it in January is to sport our fake mink coats

* Confusion - Too many black folks in one place means confusion. Everybody wanna ride in the first limosine. The seating arrangements would be messed up because Ruth just HAS to have Trudy sitting next to her. You know everybody gotta be at "The House" by 9:00 A.M. to go to the inauguration but, somehow President Jenkins is late. Blame it on Tasha, the first lady.

* National Anthem - Of course the NATIONAL Anthem would be sung at the event but being as though it's the BLACK President..........we gotta sing the Black Anthem. It would start of good.........matter of would start off great. "Lift every VOICE AND SING...till earth and heaven ring"...............THEN.....somewhere around that "Sinnnnng a SONG........something something soommmmmmmmmething"........we would mess up. Total disaster for CBS, FOX, ABC and NBC.

* The Processional - Yall know when we have big events, you CANT keep niggas out the street. In DC when Marion Barry's infamous tape was aired in TV, niggas ran in the street. It's something about running in the street that niggas love! The first limo couldn't get ONE block without niggas running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

* After Parties - Yall know Jermaine Dupri, Puffy and Allen Iverson will have the DC party game on lock after that inauguration. It will be SO many fliers on the ground that the city will have to pay workers triple time for working.

* The Swearing-In - Somebody is gonna lose the bible that is used to do the swearing in. The cameraman is gonna find a way to pan the camera on Bishop Don the Magic Juan and Snoop. The First Lady's dress is gonna be WAY too short and the whole front row is gonna get a glimpse at her drawls. It's gonna be a big fuss about why the kids from his other girlfriend can't stand on stage. And of course somebody gonna yell out "THATS MY BABY" when he finishes swearing in.

This is JUST the beginning. Soon we will talk about the aftermath of the election. The BLACK Presidency. We will discuss some of the things that would take place AFTER all the hoopla has died down