Monday, December 13, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Aint Nuthin' Like the Real Thang Baby"



Don't let anyone fool you.........it aint nothing like the real thang. You can't beat the real thang. But in some cases, you can't have the real thang. And growing up the way many of us did, we had to settle for whatever we got. And in many instances whatever we got was very literal!


* Halloween Outfits - Mothers..........stop putting your kids in white tees and headbands and making them rappers for halloween as an excuse for not buying an outfit. I dont even celebrate the dog-on holiday but if you are at least do it right! I tell ya........aint nothing like the real thang!

* PIZZA - Yall know back when yall were 8 years old..........you got like $20 and all of a sudden you couldnt HOLD that $20 bill. You felt like LeBron James wit all that money. You thought you were a Millionaire all of a sudden. And you ask your mother the golden question..... "MA lets order a Pizza". She responds "I aint got no money for NO PIZZA". "But MA I gotta $20 Bill". And then she puts the dagger in....... "BOY we got PIZZA here!". And why did she say that. She goes and gets the frozen pizza out the fridge. Now this aint even the GOOD grocery store pizza. Those come in a box. This is the 30 inch pizza wit JUST some plastic over it. It costs $2.00 flat and it has like 18 slices. NASTY NASTY pizza. She turn the over on 500 degrees and you gotta wait 45 minutes just to get some MOMMA JOHN's Pizza. I tell ya..........aint nothing like the real thang!

* Church Dances - It's Friday night. You'd rather be around the way but your mother has forced you to go a church dance. You get in the church and you dont even take your coat off. All of a sudden the music comes on and everyone is dancing to "Victory is Mine". You got some young people doing the "Harlem Shake". Some are doing the "A-Town Stomp" and all of a sudden this looks like BET in a tabernacle. Some guy on the mic says "Aint no party like a Holy Ghost Party". Or he might say "When I say Jesus, you say Christ". OR he might say "If you really wanna party wit me, put your bibles where my eyes can see, straight buckwylin wit my man JC". And you say to yourself "For $10 more dollars I coulda went to a REAL club". I Tell ya.......aint nothing like the real thang

* Wet Set - Black people and the fascination with "good hair" is always funny. I'd say around 1993 it got outta hand. The Jheri Curl had fizzled out (No pun intended) and the S Curl was kinda coming into it's own, although that fad came in and went right out. But there were a select population of Black Folks.............especially young teenage boys thinking that "wetting" their hair in the morning was gonna do some good. I mean, there was no moisterizer. No shampoo or conditioner. No oils, lotion or anything. Just putting yo' nappy head under the faucet. AND then walking straight out the house. So you got some peasy head lil nigga at the bus stop in 30 degree weather wit no hat on tryna look like a dark skinned Chico Debarge. Only to have his hair dry up and look even more nappy once he gets to school. I tell ya............aint nothing like the real thang.

* XJ-900's - Why outta all the fake Nike's made.........the XJ-900's were a staple in poor kids' lives. It was nothing like walking around in what were basically High Top CLEATS. You were lucky to have the XJ-900's cause some dudes had McGregor's. McGregor's were another level of poverty. For some reason you couldn't wear McGregor's without having some tight sweat pants on. And your mother or older sister would hype you. "EVERY body is wearing XJ-900's!". But for some reason NO one could get you to believe that McGregor's were cool. Only you and the gym teacher had those on. OH I tell ya..........aint NOTHING like the real thang


Life was hard and it still is. Aint nothing like the real thang. But some of the people who had the fakest stuff seem to turn out to be more real. In the midst of the struggle, we continue to live. "Lord Willin..........Rome Feelin'"