Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Pork Chops & Martial Arts
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Karate Antoine is a former jujitzu instructor at Keith's Karate, and has now opened his new shop, "Pork Chops & Martial Arts". Karate Antoine is finicky about what he eats and teaches. Known as Karate Antoine to many, but has never taken too much karate. He is actually a yellow belt by Ballou standards, but is a black belt in taekwondo, and a master of jujitzu with or without brass knuckles.

Karate Antoine has always enjoyed his Aunt Stephbella's pork-chops-in-the-gravy. His love for pork chops, and being picked on by fat bullies, developed his love for the "pork chop". His signature move, the "pork chop" is a closed-handed chop to the stomach. He has rendered many bullies, and portly female lovers boweled to movement. "The joys of martial arts are paralleled to only a love of hot food," said Antoine outside of the Jim Kelly Film Festival.

Karate Antoine encourages all to sign up for his martial artistry immediately. Every Friday class is completed with a pork chop dinner. However, attendance is mandatory Tuesday and Thursday, otherwise all heavy absentees will receive a "pork chop" to the stomach, and not pork chops in the stomach. To sign up for Pork Chops & Martial Arts, please check or call 301-455-3534 for a personal flyer addressing your karate needs based on neighborhoods skematics.