Monday, November 29, 2004

"Allow me to Repeat Myself"
Sal's Corner

There were two birds on a tree. One's name was Pete, the other was named Repeat...........Pete flew away........who's left..........REPEAT.......There were two birds on a tree. One's name was Pete, the other was named Repeat...........Pete flew away........who's left.........REPEAT.......There were two birds on a tree. One's name was Pete, the other was named Repeat...........Pete flew away........who's left..........REPEAT.......

Well I aint gonna play with yall too much longer but, people LOVE to repeat stuff. WHY? I HEARD you the FIRST time. I think you should really ask to be allowed to repeat yourself. Today we will talk about phrases that are repeated too much.

* "Like I said" - When you are planning out something with someone and they say "Like I said........", you already know they are gonna say "Like I said........" 20 more times. You could be talking about getting picked up from work and then Charles says "Yeah Like I said, I'll be at the bus stop at I said take ya time but, I'll be there at I said just call me but I'll already be there". We shoulda ended the convo when you simply stated you'd be there @ 5:20. Some people JUST dont know when to cut if off.

* "Everything Cool" - Now this is an occasion when you just HAVE to fight off the other person by repeating yourself. This phrase is OK. Someone bumps into you and they spill punch all on your white shirt. They get to apologizing and coppin a plea. You have to KEEP saying "Dog, Everything Cool". They keep going on about buying you another shirt. "DOG.....EVERYTHING COOL". I mean they just KEEP going on and on until you just say look "DO you want me to be mad. I can BE back off.....Everything cool!"

* "Oh Ok" - This is a word you say over and over when you really DONT care to hear about something someone is telling you. "Lil Jasmine is taking Piano lessons now" or "You know Steve finally got me the ring". Just typical morning info from co-workers that is totally unnecessary. I think when I hear someone say "Oh Ok" more than 2 times in my convo with them, I just cease the convo.

* "What he say?" - Dont people get on your nerves in the car asking what somebody said while youre STILL getting the message. Sometimes I wanna take the back of the phone and smack that person wit it! Just sit back and wait. They'll say it a MILLION times until you hit dem wit da back of that Nextel.

* "I GOTCHU" - You ever put your life in a nigga's hands? I mean you really needed to get something done. You stress that to this dude and he keeps saying "I GOTCHU". I mean you told him you need someone to pick up the package before 6:00 PM. He nodding his head and steadily saying "I GOTCHU". 6:00 comes and that nigga aint GOTCHU or dat package. The more someone says "I GOTCHU", the more I search through my mental rolodex for other people. I already know you are not dependable thats why I KEEP saying "Are you sure?". You having to say "I GOTCHU", should let you know that I dont halfway trust you. And THEY know they are gonna let you down. They just dont KNOW how.

* "Alright" - "Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright". And I aint talking about OutKast. You ever wake up in the morning and hear your parents on the phone? If you ever hear a bunch of "Alright's", They're probably talking on a long distance convo. When someone calls from outta town, the convo can NEVER end. Everybody keeps saying "Well......Alright". You might hear that 18 times before the phone clicks. And then all you gotta say is "Who was that? Aunt Iggy?" You dont have to ask though. You already KNOW!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

James "Rico" Boykins is looking for love, lust, and/or both from a female barber. This former MC Hammer impersonator spends many countless hours working security at Curtis Blow concerts, and is on security detail at the Georgia Dome. He was also an extra on Miami Vice espisode #67, he was a druglord's bodyguard carrying an uzi. He has had no luck trying to lure an Atlanta Falcon cheerleader into his Tantric Lust Abode, but now his eye on a few rookie Hawks dancers. He enjoys working out. His famed Lock & Load pullup routine is famous throughout many gyms in Atlanta. Rico also likes cooking with his wok, writing love songs, and making red construction paper by hand. If you know any Asiatic women, or black women preferably with barbering licenses please give us a call, so we can hook up this hoeless romantic. The number is 301-455-3534, or log on to to see Rico in action.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Sal's Corner
"The 2005 Ghetto Hall of Fame"

Welcome to 2005 Ghetto Hall of Fame induction ceremony. I am your host with the most, Salvador Gabor. Today we have some first ballot inductees and some long awaited inductees. Todays honorees are items, phrases and other things that need to be RETIRED. Just plain and simple. It was good while it lasted but, right about now it's becoming downright embarrassing. And the inductees are...........

* Long Finger Nails - know you like your nails but Ray can't even get a hot plate to eat cause you can barely cook with all dem nails. Take that Kool Aid Red lipstick off, get all the hair out of your face and go somewhere and cut dem nails boo. Thats done. Its a wrap. 16 inch nails are not cute unless you live with a Vampire

* The Gucci Bucket - AHHHHHHH. People I KNOW....... I KNOW its hard. We gotta let it go though. Some of our people actually have real Gucci products but, they have to go. I KNOW....its not your fault. Its Renisha and Peaches went to the swap meet and bought those fake Gucci hats and washed in the machine and they came out wrinkled and flimsy. NOW they look like melted records on their heads. It's all their fault. But, there's nothing we can do about it people. Thats the way that it is.

* "Doing the Dag on Thing" - This phrase has several derivatives such as "Doing the d*mn thing" and "Doing the mutha.......". Yes my precious ghetto people, we gotta give it up. That last thing we need is Carl from IT saying it and brutally messing it up. If other races getta hold to this phrase........before we know it they will murder this one like they did "Bling Bling".

* Naked Internet Pictures - Fellas keep ya shirt on when you are on Blackplanet. Ladies stop sending them butt naked pics through your cell phone. And you wonder why Steve aint call you back. Come on yall, we too grown for that. Your grandmother might be on Blackplanet or something. The funny thing about it is.........I run into peoples webpages and I KNOW I'm inclined to click on their page but the dude got his chest out so I dont even wanna look. I can name about 15 pages I haven't seen cause as soon as I click, you gotta be LL'n it for dem peoples. Ladies, aint nothing cute about having your leg cocked up in a Yahoo Personals pic. NOTHING at all.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

"Vacation Time"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr

Alas the holidays are upon us. Many of us are always searching for that special getaway after Christmas, or during Thanksgiving, for those sellouts who can't stand to smell chitterlings and fried turkey. Well we are here to help you in your quest for the perfect vacation. Christmas is no time to venture to warm islands with beige sand, it is a time to behold the lovelyness that is what it should be. Come on and ride with us on our 1st Annual bus trip to Jackson, MS. What a time we will have this December 27th. Come spend your Christmas money with us, and share stories over a 14 hour bus-cruise. We will have leftover Christmas dinner all the way down, from Leetha and Kendall's house. Kendall is frying a turkey this year, so Dasney won't have to cook it. You got to bring your own greens, and this bus, the "Justice Bus #829" is a double decker-bus equipped with 5 microwaves. Please get your seats early, Mrs. Wakeman has already reserved one of the tables in the back. We will be attending this year's 17th Annual Mississippi State BarbeQ, and the Squash Ball sponsored by 345th Welcome Lodge of the Eastern Stars. Please call 301-455-3534, and ask for Delilah Washington, she will be taking all the moneys. What a time we have with good soul food brought and bought, but you cannot purchase a soul on this trip. Coupons from last time's trip are not valid, unless stamped by our bus notary Ms. Delilah Washington, she spearheads all of our bus trips.

Thank you in advance and may your Tuesday be prosperous.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Perfect Combinations?

They say that opposites attract. Im not sure how right they were when they say that. Some things are far from each other and rightfully so. Certain combos don't belong together. Oil and Water, White Supremecists and Black Panthers, Al Green and Grits.........I mean, everybody can't be together. So today I wanna talk about some less than perfect combinations.

Gay Thugs - EVERYBODY wanna be a gangsta now. But has it gone this far? We have TV shows depicting Gay Men as hustlas, killas and gangbangas???? I mean you can act as hard as you want to but it's no way you can say you are a thug and you kissing another man's chest. I can't figure that out for the life of me? Can you imagine your homie saying "Dag man.....Kevin Sexy as a mug!". You are not a thug if you are gay...........period. And these dominate gay women are about to get knocked out too. They get mad if you look at their girl. How am I to know "Lil Ki Ki" is her "boyfriend". These lil Butch women be pushin them limits.

Gospel Rappers - I believe in praising God but rap is not the way. Rap is hardcore. Rap is the streets. Rap is not meant to be heard directly after Shirley Caesar. In Rap, you gotta act tough sometimes. JUST some times at least. As a Christian rapper you can't battle rap. How you gonna say you are better than someone and you believe you are better than someone else that God made as well? And I can bet you 1 Million Dollars, every Gospel rapper wants to curse AT LEAST ONCE. Besides that, rap is a music that is about "Me". It's an "I" music. Every other word is "I" or "me". Its a competitive sport. Gospel Rappers need to stick to singing in quartets with Green Polyester suits.

Black Republicans - Boy I tell ya........Niggas........... yall getta lil money and don't know where you came from. You went from the Piccolo Club to the Country Club. You think you made it but when the potato salad comes out, they think YOU MADE IT. You putt puttin away and they still think you're the chef. You look like the one dot in that crowd of white folkses at the GOP meetings. I aint against Republicans. But I'm against people who don't know reality. Reality is, if you came from the hood and made a Million Dollars, chances are you are the only one who you know that did it. So therefore alot of people who truly love you arent as blessed as you. So hob knobbing wit dem folks aint doing too much to help the next man get to where you are.

Young Grandmothers - NOW THIS IS WILD. A woman has a child at 14. Her child has a child at 14. Now she's 28 going on 29 with a grandchild on the way? What part of the game is this? You celebrate your 40th birthday and your 12 year old grandson is setting up the chairs in the living room for the rest of the family to sit down. You turn 70 and your daughter is 56 and your grandson is 42. ALL yall getting discounts at Denny's!!!!!!!!

Church's Chicken & White Castle - For those who have been to NY, tell me what's this ABOUT! Minature hamburgers and wholesale priced chicken seems to be THE THING in the Big Apple! AND to top it off, if you go in a White Castle/Church's.........they gotta buzz you into the bathroom like you at a bank! Also Dunkin Donuts & Popeyes have alot of combo stores in New Yiddy as well? It's no wonder that people in Harlem don't have Stomach Cancer. Eating a Donut and some Cajun rice or a Mini Burger and a $2 Chicken combo might have your stomach turn green.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

"Am I on your side"
By Salvador Gabor

Do you know me? I'll give you some clues. They say I'm everything. People who have money don't have enough of me and people who DONT have money have too much of me. Naw I aint about being around broke niggas but, those are the people who tend to try to hang around me alot more. Some people work too much to hang around me. They need me in order to raise their kids the right way. Because they dont have me, their kids are devilish and know more words to songs than they do their school work.

You're probably wondering how I look? Sometimes I'm big, sometimes I'm small. I wear alot of leather and gold..........that's when I'm with my rich friends. Sometimes you can just look at the sun and find me. Im out and about but I usually go in a little early in the fall and winter. I can be tall when you miss somebody and I'm short when you are trying to get something done. I guess this isn't helping you at all. I'm just all over the board aren't I?

Ya's funny..........whenever I'm riding around with someone, they always get someone calling them to go do something. "Since you got HIM with you.........can you come by and fix this radiator?". Sometimes the person on the phone may not know that I'm there. They'll just ask "Do you got HIM......well if you do.........stop by........I got something for ya!"

It's sad though............cause when people arent around me.......they dont listen to anyone. All of sudden, conversations are shortened or cut off altogether. Families aren't together. People begin taking shortcuts on everything. And when people become upset at you for cutting them always use ME as an excuse.

I was always told........"if you dont have don't have nothing!". Am I on your side?

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Bunk Fortune 40: 21-40
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

We often recognize the street businessman, but don't really recognize who's who in the world of the street and what it means to achieve optimum success. You often hear how Gates makes the world go round, but lets salute and take a look at those who make their money the unfashioned way.

21. Jerome "Up-Up" Sykes-Putnam, 14th St. Supervisor, 3500 & Clifton Subdivisions: YTD $350,075. This nigga makes sure everything is running smoothly on the rip from window-tinting, weed sales, coke-cutting, free-base temperature, coaching summer league, and running "Adjustment Seminars" for parolees. He is paid well for a man who wears many hats.

22. Anthony "83" Threat, Computer Technician: YTD $340,009. They call him "83" because he was born in 1983 and is a computer wiz, but the crazy nigga once tried to shoot some one with a 38, but had the gun facing the wrong way. It's a good thing he is so skinny, that bullet went right under his armpit.

23. Jacoby Gilliam, Asphalt Nutritionist: YTD $326,500. This boy moves so much weight in North Carolina it is ridiculous. Note: Gilliam was locked up in May and his assets were frozen, figure reflects earnings, since released for parole.

24. Abnus Littman, Owner of Littman's Liquors: YTD $225,903. He was tied with Vestee White, but someone bought a scratch ticket just before the books were tallied.

25. Vestee White, Fisherman: YTD $125,902. A world renown Catfish Master. This competitive fisherman has won numerous fishing events nationwide. He is currently in North Carolina trying to get a title in grouper.

26. Stuvius Smith, Dry Cleaner and owner of Stuviusly Dressed: YTD $123,457. He launders clothes and money, get with him if you moving too many kilos.

27. Renaldus Wynn, Registered Nurse: YTD $123,456. He works as a RN at Providence Hospital in Washington, DC, but has a key to medicine closet. Needless to say he's selling Viagra by the slab.

28. Dionte Willis, Dock Worker/Boardwalk Hustler in Atlantic City New Jersey: YTD $117,348. A knowledgeable man of the finer things ranging from Porsches to cartons of Newports and crates of Remy. He can get his hands on pretty much anything.

29. Tommy Nichols, Owner of Tommy Tows, a tow truck company: YTD $115,775. He has been towing cars in Detroit for 8 years, but the cars he tows usually have snow on and/or in them. Winter's coming so expect him to skyrocket up on this list very soon.

30. Johntay Dixon, Owner of Dixon's Bricks: YTD $112,114. He inherited the company from his grandaddy John Dixon, and has made it work for himself. A hard worker whose dap feels like Alabama torture.

31. Trina Phillips, Waitress at H2O: YTD $82,075. She earns her tips, and steals plenty. She sells meat, lettuce, and any kind of wine she can find out the back of that club.

32. Mr. Phyllis Cox, Hairdresser and Owner of Phyllis Good: YTD $81,009. This homosexual hairdresser, has won a Golden Scissor Award every year for the past 6 years. Note: we have deducted some $20,000 that Mr. Phyllis spends on his upkeep.

33. Nancy Dykes, Comfort Operator: YTD $79,409. She provides lesbian comfort for a reasonable price to many lesbians in the community, whether they are people, dogs, plants, or even winos.

34. Sylvester Miles, Metro Train Operator: YTD $78,487. He is a train operator who excepts, and forcefully urges tips. When Metros fares go up, so do his.

35. Doctor Willie Leake, Home-Schooled Dentist: YTD $77,777. He is what you would call a bootleg dentist, and gets his novocaine from Renaldus Wynn, and gives good prices on his work.

36. DJ Buster Brown, Underground DJ of WPIS in Atlanta: YTD $75,006. Underground kingpins pay him a pretty penny to divert police as he leads his broadcasts over CB radios, channel 37 on your CB dial.

37. Mary Thompkins, Bridge-player: YTD $75,003. She has been at it a long time, and this 67 year old hasn't even hit her peak. Originally from St. Louis, she makes her mark in Vegas, and doubles as a Lena Horne impersonator.

38. Bobby "Beauty-O" Barker, Club Owner of Trixie's and The Stretchmark: YTD $74,999. His location robs him achieving greater financial success. Nobody wants to go Chesapeake to see exotic entertainment.

39. Tony "Ring Tone" Peete, Assistant Manager of Scorpion Wireless: YTD $64,057. He works off of commission, and has been at Scorpion Wireless for 8months, his knowledge of Baltimore, and burn-out sells will propel this young man to the top of the Bunk 40 one day.

40. Fat Teddy Willis, Dock Worker down the Wharf: YTD $60,001. This man has anything you need, and if he doesn't he can have Dionte ship it down from Atlantic City. He specializes in TV's and Bob Ross paintings.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Violence MAY BE the Answer"

Im not a promoter of violence. Im really not. I promise I'm not. But I've been looking at some issues. Some of these issues need our deepest attention. And Im not sure if we are left with any option other than violence...........

Old People at ATM's - THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU. I WILL REPEAT........THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU. Go inside and do your transactions. Yall are taking entirely too much time squinting at the screen. Move before I kick you in yo' raggedy shin you old foggie! If you gotta press cancel and restart that transaction ONE MO' TIME.........Im a slap you right upside yo' greyish blue head! GO INSIDE the bank. ATM's are for people with FAST transactions. If you dont already KNOW the buttons to press, chances are a TELLER can help you..........they have at least 4 inside and they are paid to help people like you!

Kids who act up in Public - The parent tries to maintain his/her cool. But Lil Kenny is still crying...... just crying to make a scene. And then they take it to the level where you cant NOT notice em. Sometimes I wanna slap em up side the head FOR the parent. Just clip em up, make em buss their lip and slap em in the face.

People who STILL GEAR UP to drive - Yall know who Im talking about. The ones who still put on them leather gloves and shades before they drive. They got the CB in the front. They just love highway driving a lil too much. They stop at the rest stop and everyone is going to the vending machine and he just GOTTA wipe the car down. He all under the hood, checking the speedometer. They just take it all too serious!

Jr. High Students - They SWARE they are SO cool. But this is your worst time in life. You sware you are cool at 13 and 14 but, you are so off. I just wanna punch 13 year olds in the stomach. Thats around the time when you wear alot of denim. Jean jackets and outfits. Alot of wideleg jeans and fake jerseys. 14 year olds and your 45 year old uncles kinda dress alike. Both sware they are cool but are so far from it. I just wanna punch em!

Wanna-Be Gangsta Women - Ladies yall aint gangsta. So stop saying "I wish that TRICK would" and "I KNOW SHE DIDNT". Cause you aint gonna do NUFFIN. Put your earrings back on, pick up your purse and re-wrap your shawl and keep stepping. Ladies yall do TOO much fakin. Always wanna be the prettiest, prissiest woman. Acting like you Neiman Marcus when you really Hechts. "ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO EXCITE MEEEEEEEE". Yall kill me though. I know what the problem is..........There's not enough women are being SHOT. We need for female shootings for yall to act right. See us men we know one thing.......when two men disagree and they get loud..........somebody could get shot. Its a fact of life for us. Thats why some of us talk our way out of situations or simply keep our hands in our pocket and watch our friend get beat up in the club. Hey I cant do nothing but tell the truth. But females ALWAYS want start drama. Thats cause they know at the most they MIGHT get sliced with a knife. Females dont even poke knives. They only slice ya. Im not gonna be satisfied until some women start getting shot.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Friday, November 05, 2004

"Diversity in Law Enforcement"
By Salvador Gabor

A landmark decision came down from the Supreme Court yesterday. New York City Court Marshall, "Sweet" Marcus Rivera was allowed to wear a skirt and sandles as his standard uniform. "Sweet" Marcus, was at one time working under the "Dont Ask, Dont Tell" Policy which was implemented in New York City in 1992. As a veteran in Law Enforcement, "Sweet" Marcus began the intense lobbying for Onsite Rectal Searches of Drug Dealers and Users in the Bronx. Many hustlers began hiding crack and other drugs in there underwear and/or anal area. "Sweet" Marcus always found away to find the drugs in those crevices.

"Sweet" Marcus also was one of the leading "Frisk" officers as he did work off-duty at local clubs. His frisks were above and beyond the call and he tended to do extended searches in the loin areas of Male Patrons of New York City Clubs. "Sweet" Marcus was awarded with several accolades for his dedication to the force.

If you want to congratulate "Sweet" Marcus Rivera in person, he is normally at the "Coffee Shop" in lower Manhattan on E 14th Street. You can catch him licking the filling out of a Donut or Two.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Gregory "Look" Peet is looking for love in all the swankiest places, and in need of some in the most tenderest way. "Look" is an educated man of discipline and knowledge on many subjects. He is a graduate of the Women of Brewster Place Comfort in Food and Meditation Program, and really knows how to touch a woman's soul. This graduate of Shepherd Elementary School in Northwest DC knows all the good love nooks up and down upper 16th Street. It is not that he is versed in loving, but more or less because he likes to look, so says his name, and is a peeping tom. He was a member of the junior ROTC program of Dahlia Street and enjoys rubbing his feet after a good game of contact frisbee. "Look" is hungry for romance, or a big woman in beige underpants. If you are looking for "Look" give us a call at 301-455-3534, and maybe we can fill your heart or hands with love.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

News & Notes
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

The Crouton Committee has just elected it's 19th Chairperson. Shirleen B. Curris, was selected on last Friday to be the group's newest chairperson. A coordinator of salad and a lover of fried and spiced rices, Shirleen learned to cook at the tender age of 4. She made her first omelette on her sense of smell alone. She could confidently and accurately identify mushrooms, onions, and the difference between baked and grilled ham at such a young age. She was called the "Home Ec Prophet" by her second semester at MM Washington Culinary and Special Services High School in Washington, DC. She knows her nutmegs, mustards, and crabmeat, and was the perfect choice for the Crouton Committee. She was selected as a finalist to be on her own cooking show on FricaseeTV, but it didn't work out because the kitchen areas were too small. Shirleen's term begins, Tuesday after next and she will prepare a lovely moose-hamburger bisque-soup for her sister Earlene's bowling club. The Crouton Committee is a group for big women who enjoy cooking, laughing, taking an occasional walk, rocking back and folding their arms across their middle while they listen to stories, untucking their shirt tails from off their hip with a pinch-flick, and just good ole big woman fun. If you are big and love the smell of greens cooking, give us a call and we will point you to one our many satelite offices. Here our the 2 newest offices in the Washington DC area.

Barney Office Eastover Office
1246 Pennsylvania Ave, SE 7008 Southen Ave, SE
Washington, DC Washington, DC

Monday, November 01, 2004

Sal's Corners
"Kids of Today"

Kids of today are DEPRIVED. That's why you cant go in the mall without seeing 25 fifteen year olds having a Harlem Shake Contest by the food court. That's why you got 10 thirteen year olds taking turns firing a handgun. That's why young girls have 3 kids by the age of 21. They are DEPRIVED! Deprived from what..............

* Reading Rainbow - This was a GOOD show. Who else could go from playing a slave, to tap dancing to teach our kids about reading.........but Lavar Burton. He needs a standing applause right now ladies and gentlemen. I think it's a conspiracy. A Black Man got across a point of reading to millions of kids better than Mister Rogers or Captain Kangeroo. They didnt like that at all!

* Martin Luther King Movies - Why dont they show these anymore on TV for MLK's birthday? We NEED those movies. Once again......... Paul Winfield .......a Black Man just acting and getting a point across. We NEED this to teach our kids history

* After School Specials - Remember at 4:00 P.M, ABC would have those specials about drug use, rape and abuse? Well I guess Oprah is making too much money to have her show interrupted by some half hour special. She too busy giving away cars on her show! We need these specials back. Man them shows had us lil niggas SCARED to even say the word DRUGS. It instilled fear of doing the wrong thing!

* Officer Friendly - The police aint so Friendly anymore though. They'll beat you down like the next nigga will in the street. But remember Officer Friendly used to come to your school and pass out Football, Baseball and Basketball cards. YEAH........the cards were from BUM players but you loved them. You kept those cards and you respected the police. Now these kids HATE the Po-Po's.

* Clothes - Kids have more clothes now but they are deprived for that. Wearing shoes from Payless and the Grocery Store gave us Character. No name shoes and corderouy's made men out of boys and women out of girls. It was a rites of passage theory. No HS girl deserves Fendi Bags! No JR High kids need Cell Phone. I wish my kid would ask for a cell phone at 13, the only call they'd making is to JESUS.

* Wippings in Public - It's nothing better than a slap in the face at the grocery store and then being made to choke on your tears. I'd rather get my pants pulled down than to get slapped in the face. That slap makes you feel like your whole face is gonna shatter. All of a sudden, you dont know what to do with your hands. You cant put em in your pockets, and you cant just have em to your side. Your eyes glass up and all you can think of is "when can I go in a corner and cry freely?" Cause moms aint letting your cry on aisle 8 in front of all these people. Kids these days NEED that kinda embarrassment to keep them in place!

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"