Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Sal's Corner
"You Think You Bad"

"You think you bad huh?". That's an ole skool phrase for ya. I mean you ever seen somebody and they swore they were DOING IT...........and they aint doing nothing at all! Im here to speak on a few situations and instances where this has or does occur

* Names - You ever had someone that you knew that ALWAYS has to emphasize that their name means something? EVERYONE's name means something, so what are you saying. The people that kill me are the ones who are quick to say "MY name is in the bible. I have a bibical name". Ok so your name is Peter? WHOOPDEY WOOO. Well since your name is Peter do you know that Peter was the one who betrayed Jesus before he was crucified? Isn't such a great name now is it?

* Men and their Women - You ever seen a dude in the mall and his girl is kinda attractive? I mean she aint that DEAL but, she is decent. You glance over and this clown has the nerve to grab her up. He clutches her like a White Lady grabs her purse when she is lost in Manhattan and somehow walked thru Harlem. He grabs her like your mother grabs the back of your arm when you dont really wanna go but she is mad and she is praying to God her anger doesnt lead to cursing. And the thing about it is.......she really AINT all that. I understand that she's YOUR lady but, it's plenty out here. And it's always the guys who have the girl who cant dress. She'll have on Bell Bottoms and a Halter Top and the reason why we are looking is because she looks like she belongs in a 1992 CeCe Peniston video.

* Women and their Kids - Everybody thinks that their kids are so smart. They fill your head up with stories about "Marquis" ALL morning. "Girl I just dont know what to do with Marquis". "He came upstairs this morning and asked if he could read a book on the way to school! I was so excited". Look.........the boy IS 6!! He should be reading. Everyone thinks their kids are so exceptional. I dont want to hear about "Marquis" all day. He aint no smarter than any other kids.

* Government Jobs - People who chase after Government Jobs are the worst. "You betta get in dis Gumment". Yes, government jobs are good to have. Stability is key and government jobs are good for that. Yet, these government jobs are NOT the "end all tell all" jobs. Yes if you can get in, it is great but you may be in the same cubicle, eating lunch with the same ole lame co-workers, at the same hot dog stand, taking cigarrette breaks at the same time each day for 35 years. Goverment workers can be the most pitiful looking people. They walk around with their ID Badges and they watch the news closely to see if Federal Gov't is off of work because of snow. They also are quick to flash their badges when they check into hotels. They are just pitiful. Government work is fine but dont let it consume you.

* 80's Car Owners - Let's get this straight. Just because you bought a 1985 Benz in 1998 does not make you a "Benz Driver". "Yeah man, I only drive Benzes". 93 Supreme gas wasn't even out when that car was made. You're not a Benz Driver, you are a bucket driver. These kinds of people are the worst. They own more Benz magazines and Benz lifestyle periodicals than a person with a 2004 model. They can tell you more about the current Benzes than they should know. AND they ALWAYS hit you with this one........."Yeah I might trade in the 560 SEL for a new one, one of these days". Nigga you aint trading in nothing!