"2004 Keeping it Hood Awards"
(Since I missed this past Monday and a few Mondays over the last few weeks, I'm gonna double up for yall this week)
Well we've seen 3/4 of the year go by and I think we've seen enough to award some eligible nominees for their Hood Antics. Not a year goes by that we don't see somebody keep it hood for the people. We here at the Salvador Gabor Project want to showcase those people and give them their proper due.
Clothing Line of the Year goes to The Entire Asian Entrepreneural Association in America for coming out with those Fish Net Slippers. I got an email with a DUDE wearing them. That's when I knew it was crazy. You gotta give it up for the Asian Entrepreneurs for giving our black women a reason to match their slippers with their dresses. I never thought it would be THAT serious! It has gotten out of control. How can one have 13 different colored pairs of chinese slippers in their arsenal? I mean HOW!
Automobile Company of the Year is a tie between Dodge and Chrysler. After a 35 year run, Cadillac has lost the Keep it Hood Award to these two Titans in the Ghetto Community. The unveiling of the Dodge Magnum and the Chrysler 300 C has given ghetto hood rich niggas all across the country a chance to feel like they are in a Bentley for under $30,000. $30 G's used to be able to get you a fully equiped Hyundai, now you can truly ride in style at that amount. I've never so many people staring at a Dodge in my lifetime! Who knew a Chrysler would have more benefits than just as a rent-a-car for a trip to South Carolina. Kudos to Dodge and Chrysler.
Phrase Retirement of the Year goes to "I KNOW that's right!". It's time people. Really it's time. We retired "You Go Girl" and next in line is "Doing the Dag on Thang!". But for now "I KNOW that's right" has to go. We must try our best to discontinue this one. It will be hard but we must. We can not go into 2005 with this as a part of our lingo. I challenge our culture to be advocates for the dismissal of this phrase
Soccer Mom of the Year: It was Ann Iverson, mother of Allen Iverson. But we don't have to go far to find the winner for 2004. We will stay in Philly and Award Mrs. McNabb mother of Donovan McNabb. How hood is this.........your son puts you in HIS commercial and now YOU have a commercial??? Momma McNabb, if you don't sit down and make some corn pudding! What you doing being a celebrity!
Telecommunications Provider of the Year goes to Nextel. What a cell phone company. What phone service do you know that will allow 8 niggas to be under one family plan. You ever see money being collected 2 days before a bill of more than $1,000 is due? Oh what a sight to see! It's unmatched! And let's not talk about the Ringtones. You got grown men looking for 50 Cent ringtones. You're in an Executive Meeting and all of a sudden your leg starts humming "I dont care what you heard about me........".We keep it so hood but, yall gotta love it!
Big Pimpin on your level Award goes to Wal-Mart. They gave all Geo, Neon, and Hyundai owners a chance to let their wheels spin too! Goshdarnit we all spinnin! It was a need and Wal-Mart filled the void. I couldnt see that lil Spanish guy with the 87 Celica going to a custom shop and requesting rims. They'd probably send him to a used car dealers with better instructions and opportunities on how to use that $5,000 correctly. I think we need to issue a new rule: From this day forward, if you car isnt the Top of the Line in it's model, then you need to take your rim money and add that to getting your car fully equiped. Even if its the 745 "i", take that rim money and "LI" the situation.
That's all for now. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"