Friday, October 29, 2004

Natural Shopping
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Jemma and Pooky's All-Natural Sandcastle Hut is proudly offering free weight-loss mudbaths to it's first 50 customers the Friday after Veteran's Day. They are offering their special treatment weight-loss mudbaths to women and men, close to and/or well over 200 pounds. Glodine Wilford is a previously satisfied customer, who received the special mudbath and saw instant results.

Glodine described the treatment as, "It was kinda painful at first. It felt like they had 5 or 6 midgets under the mud, just whooping my butt in that mudbath. Then the next thing I knew it felt like I was sliding across a skating rink covered in luke-warm jello. I fell asleep, and I woke up feeling like a million bucks, and smelling like Texas Pete hot-sauce."

Glodine lost 40 pounds in the mudbath at Jemma and Pooky's All-Natural Sandcastle Hut, which will be closed tomorrow for investigation of alleged use of heroin in these special mudbaths. The sandy boutique also specializes in talking ant farms, sandcastles for every occasion, and gourmet mudpies. For any sandy need, want, desire, fetish, or malfunction come down to Jemma and Pooky's All-Natural Sandcastle Hut, where they use the finest dirt and sand to make you feel like a hundred grand.