Tuesday, September 28, 2004

"Negresscent Business"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Harold Redman owns one of the most lucrative black barbershop related business in the barbershop-related industry. Harold Redman owns "Clean Sweep", an organization that pools black winos together in an effort to make barbershops much cleaner and less hairy. Harold just celebrated his break-even point after five years in the business. He organizes winos from Atlantic City down to Richmond. He finds winos
and gets them to committ themselves to better living and or better drinking. Some winos would rather build themselves up and start by sweeping hair and cleaning
toilets at barbershops. Others would rather distill their kidneys, and spend their money on cheap booze. Harold requires all employees pay him $3 per hour for
his services. He provides winos with a stress free environment and the opportunity to show up drunk on Friday's and sometimes after lunch. "I just figure I
could make a difference or at least a dollar, while these fools do what they love."

Mary "Paprika" Wilkes has just become the first hundred thousandaire in the history of Savannah feature dancing. Known for her tasteful use offeathers down at the Hot Spot, formerly Sweet and Low, and more recently Catty Lac's, Wilkes has been dancing
for over 28 years. She enjoys to brighten the days of battered, tired, and or lonely men. Known as "Paprika" for the pretty red garter belts she wears during her performances, and because of her prettyskin tone. "She looks like a carmel drop dipped in paprika, she's my favorite!", shouted patron Thomas Beaman. Once "Paprika" earned her hundred thousandeth dollar green lights came on, and she was serenaded by
her favorite singer from the blues nightclub across the street. Sweet Ronnie Falls sang "Money Makes the World Go Round" by Scarface, and "Paprika" liked to wilted like an overworked stallion. It is beautiful to see black business folk be recognized.

Nicholas "Knock-Knee" Thomas started Handcuffs for Humanities one year ago and the organization is celebrating it's one year anniversary this weekend. "Knock-Knee" started the group to promote better relations between inmates and officers in many of the nation's correctional facilities. "I feel that many of today's officers need to loosen the cuffs, and broaden the trust. Trust your brothers, I mean we all
are brothers.", said "Knock Knee" at yesterday's civil rights brunch. The group will recognize their anniversary this weekend when the women's section will intermingle with the men's for a bit of conjugal awareness.