Wednesday, September 22, 2004

"Inactive List"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Ever since we were little people, when you act up, you received some sort of punishment of disciplenary action, and wound up on the inactive list. Whether you received a knuckle-pluck, a smack in the mouth, punch in the chest, or welps to the leg back arms and or butt you best believe you were getting something. You then wound up on the inactive list, and were unable to go play, use the phone, or even sit on the porch. As adults we often focus on our favorite athletic teams and who is injured or who is receiving disciplenary action, and winds up inactive that game. Well lets take a look at real people who have been bad this week.

Coloring Book King, George Showman, has been placed on the inactive list by his publishing house, Coloring on Cots, for some books he made that weren't so childish. Georgie famous for his coloring books "Reason's for Seasons" and "Let's Go to the Dry Cleaners", also made some not so childish books on the side. "April, May, June, Summer, Autumn" is not a coloring book about months and seasons, but was quite popular among lonely white males ages 32-63. Showman aka "Sheediman" was also attempting to distribute books on US government secrets. He is shown above, at his second home, in a room in the back of the IHOP on New Hampshire Ave.

Lenny Guits, short for Guitar, was placed on musical probation this week after failing to remember the words to his songs during live performances. Most of Lenny's songs were made up on the spot but, nowadays he is doing quite a bit of mumbling, and asking for crowd participation on those songs where he usually makes up the words. Lenny has also resorted to quite a bit cussing, but appears to be deriving a form of gangsta-folk music. Word on the street is Crimemob is interested in using him on their remix of Knuck if You Buck.

Charles Bowling, Jr. has been ruled inactive by his grandmother and the Usher Board of Lower Northeast which requires any junior usher to have a haircut come Sunday. His grandmother and great-grandmother have been riding Charles for weeks about that hair. He will be held from actual ushering, but will attend meetings until Thursday's scheduled haircut.