Friday, September 10, 2004

"Community News & Notes"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

This news comes to us from the 640 Gazette, "Bimbo", Aunt Tommy's dog and formerly owned by Mr. Phyllis of Stanton Terrace but is now Aunt Tommy's pet after the couple's messy breakup, has been terrorizing hustlers around the 40 for past weeks. It is believed "Bimbo" has been raiding stashes in the alleyways and has picked up a habit along the way. Parker, an alleyman extraordinaire, believes "Bimbo" has acquired a herion habit. If you see "Bimbo" please call the authorities, because Aunt Tommy is still working through his messy breakup and refuses to believe "Bimbo" could do any wrong.

"In the News"
By Salvador Gabor

Just wanted to tighten up a a few loose ends on the newsfront before the weekend begins. Here are a few juicy stories that may leave your wanting for more as the weeks come.

* First, UPN has announced that it will begin shooting a reality show called "Jeopardy". No, this will not rival Alex Trabek's version of the show, which is filmed on ABC. UPN's "Jeopardy" will be shot in the LeFrak Housing Projects, which are located in Queens, NY. You're probably wondering why its called "Jeopardy". This is not a GAME........(Literally). At least that's what the citizens of the LeFrak neighborhood stated at the press conference held on Tuesday. The show will be a reality show that is based on members of the show moving to LeFrak for 4 months. There is no storyline except for the fact that it's shot in Queens. Sheldon "Too-Low" Gibbs, Producer of the show had a few words to say about the show. "Yeah it's called Jeopardy simply because it's shot in LeFrak....WE JUST HOPE WE dont get SHOT........IN LEFRAK".

* "Oooma Loooma Blooomas", an underwear line that is sold in local grocery stores has just introduced it's new line of panties. The "Brown Label" is a basic white panty, drawl and/or bloomer that has a patch in the "seat area". It's similar to the patch on the elbow of sport coats. The patch is designed to maintain the seat area through the wear and tear of underwear. Stains, washings and released gas can have an effect on the "seat area" of the the underwear. This line will be in all Kroger's, Harris Teeter's, Piggly Wiggly's, Giant's and Safeway's across the Mid-Atlantic Area. They will be positioned near the pro-keds. The Three Packs will also have a plastic string attached to them similar to the pro-keds. "Oooma Loooma Blooomas" wanted to help the environment and save on their use of plastic covering.