Wednesday, August 11, 2004

"Superfriends Pt.1"
By Salvador Gabor


If you go back to our archives, you will see that on 5/14/04, we introduced the world to a good friend of ours. That friend is named "Big Hugh". I'm not gonna go BACK into what "Hugh" is about but, for those who remember........"Ole Hugh" will knock ya out. For those who don't remember, go to the archives and check the May 14th edition of our blog.


Onward shall we? Now "Ole Hugh" is not a lonely fella. He brings his friends with him from time to time when he is visiting unsuspecting people. The dudes he brings with him are so irritating though. They make you more mad than "Hugh"! "Hugh" just knocks you out if he feels like it. When you wake up, he's gone. But, the two guys that roll with "Hugh" are constantly in your face but, they'll never swing.

If you haven't met them, here's your opportunity. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce you to the terrible tandem "Sweat" and "Muggy". Yes people, "Sweat" and "Muggy" have been rollin' with "Ole Hugh" for quite some time. Two dudes that make you wanna slap em! They feel they are untouchable 'cause "Big Hugh" always has their back!

"Sweat" is a funny dude. He is the type that gets up on you. He makes you feel uncomfortable. When he talks to you, he feels a need to be touchy feely. He is always touching your face and talking so close that you can feel him on your neck. I had to tell "Sweat" one day about himself. I said "Sweat, you are gonna have to back off of me. Im a boy Sweat, Im a BOY sweat!". I don't mind "Sweat" sometimes. If I play ball, I might tell "Sweat" "Hey man let's go shoot some hoops". Most of the time, he'll join me for a game. Sometimes when I am sick, "Sweat" is a good friend of mine. He is the right remedy for a cold. I dont drink alcohol but, even Keith and Dewey told me that when they are just a bit too drunk, "Sweat" brings them back to sobriety. But, "Sweat" can go overboard. I pick and choose my time that I spend with "Sweat".He starts thinking that we are too cool and he wants to go to church with me! He starts talking his talk and I gotta fan him away. He went to the club wit "Dewey" and just wouldnt stop trying to dance with him. Dewey told me "Sweat" my be gay because he is always all up on niggas. Well my boy once told me, "If it looks like a rat and acts like a rat......by golly it's a rat". And the guy that told me is an "Eagle" so that goes to show you how much HE knows.

Oh and "Hugh" brought another friend. Yall know em as "Muggy". "Muggy" is not real social. He rarely comes out. You might see em in August. It's 6:00 O'Clock in the afternoon and "Ole Hugh" and "Sweat" done left for the day...........Oh no..........that aint "Muggy" walking around the corner is it??? Oh yes...it tis! "Muggy" is a little bit different than "Sweat" and "Hugh". "Sweat" is irritating. "Hugh" is intimidating. "Muggy" is just that nigga you love to hate. You might go to a cookout and see "Hugh" and "Sweat". They are chilling just like everyone else. "Sweat" is over by the basketball court. "Hugh" is out there on the grass. And you're thinking to yourself.........."I can avoid sweat if I dont play ball and I can avoid Hugh if I stay in this shade". Real smart huh? Then "Muggy" walks up and gives you a nice dap and hug right under that shed. Has you wondering why you wore those jeans in july. You have to keep tugging at yo' drawls 'cause he is making you walk so hard. He just takes the smile off your face. You are a man and you've just experienced Menopause messing wit "ole Muggy"!

You can't get around seeing "Hugh", "Muggy" and "Sweat" but as long as you hang wit nigga "A.C." and my other dude named "Ice", you'll be aight!

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"



"Retirement Luncheon"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.





E.R. aka Tuffy Roberson, is retiring from the Maryland Church League Wrestling Association this coming Thursday after-next. His sudden departure from the wrestling circuit is due to back spasms, and a case of suplexer's tummy, a chronic abdominal strain. Known as E.R. because he has sent many competitors to the Emergency Room, Tuffy wasn't short on talent or the knowledge of pressure points. He once forced a submission in two moves back in September of '85. He forced Big Duncan to faint, by simpling reversing a headlock into an Armpit of Disaster, by pressing three fingers on Duncan's armpit as he tried to apply Duncan's Headrest.

E.R.'s retirement luncheon will be held at Martin's Crosswinds on the Friday after this coming Monday. The cost will be $15.75 per person, this will cover the spare-rib dinner and gift for Tuffy. Reservations are made under Tuffy in the "Suplex Room", which is really the main room in the Crosswinds renamed for Tuffy's special occasion. Reservations can be made with Bernadette Stevens and Michelle Goings, at 301-455-3534. That is the number for the MCLWA's league office. Tuffy was quoted as saying "the one thing a man must change is that which another thinks he can't, because a half-nelson is not necessarily giving half-hearted, but might mean complete submission." Tuffy's partner, and nephew shown above at Dallas Demolition, Sito "Otis" Roberson, called Sito because of his knowledge of reversals, said "the key to Tuffy's success was simple, he feared losing, and if you wrastle with fear you will win, because eventually fear gets afraid too." For more info on this and other retirement luncheons, please check http://www.ebonyluncheons.com/retirements