"Before you die"
We all gotta go. Face it, life dont last always. Im prepared for death. At least two people know my email password, so that if I die, they can continue to send out Sal's Corner. This stuff im talking about is priceless and lifelong. You can read this stuff in 2082 and still can apply it to your own life. (Yeah Im feeling myself a lil too much) But yeah, before you die you gotta LIVE LIFE. And here's what you do
*You gotta ride in the back of your own car before you die. Now some of us have been in the back of our car but thats ANOTHER STORY (if you know what I mean). But I mean, you in the back preferably by yourself with two people in the front. Ive done that and its great, I mean great. My homie was driving and whenever we got to where we got, I felt like a star getting out of the car. Even though the car is older than some of the readers of this article, it felt good. Riding shotgun in your own car is cool too. Especially when you see a person you know and they walk up to the car window. You can roll it down slightly and just talk crazy. Just play SO big.
*You gotta ride in a limo in a situation OTHER than a funeral or a wedding! Rent a limo for your birthday! Rent a limo cause you hit the number in the corner store for $100. Rent a limo if you getta pink slip on yo' job. Just rent one once
Sidebar: Dont you hate when people argue about who's gonna ride in or who shoulda rode in the family car at the funeral? Maybe its just me
*You gotta walk Butt-Naked in your house. I havent done this and cant come to grips with doing it but its so necessary. I dont even walk barefoot in my house so I know butt-naked is gonna be a major accomplishment for me. I just be scared that Im a bump into something and damage my goods. Ya know...........you might close the refrigerator door and close "yourself" in the door as well.
*Fellas, you gotta have a BAD female admiring you from afar. I mean she gotta have a mean crush on you and you not even know. I mean, SHE dont even know why, she just feelin you. I aint had that happen to me, but if any ladies feel that way about me..... firstname.lastname@example.org ....... Hit me! I would give you my cell phone but it might be cut off next week
Sidetip: Never save the number of a DC person under 25 in your phonebook. If they are truly DC resident and they are under 25 they dont keep phones long man!
*Ladies, you gotta have a man serenade you in front of your female friends. Notice I said "A MAN" not "Your man". That aint nothing to have YOUR man do it. When he is YOUR man he almost feel like he gotta do it. Sometimes YALL are the ones who plan it......"ok now honey, I want you to come in the beauty parlor at precisely 6:00 with the flowers. I should be under the dryer then, so I'll be in the back, just ask KIM or TANGY to come get me and i'll come out with a surprised look on my face"
*People, you gotta get married. Dont be 60 years old and be still having your friends hooking you up with their brothers/sisters. You cant even be intimate at that age without taking some pill that has you "on guard" for 36 HOURS!. When you get married at 60, Intimacy is standing close when taking pictures. The honeymoon is watching Family Feud.
*Last but not least you gotta accept Jesus Christ in ya life. Now there are Millions of religions. Im not pushing mines on anyone. We all have an open choice. So If you Muslim, a Jehovah's Witness, or you just religiously watch NFL Games on Sunday, take this one how you like it. I wont argue wit you about who is right and who is wrong. We can do it like Jeopardy, write down your own answer but in the end we will know. None of us are perfect but Jesus loves you despite all of that. Plus Southeast DC aint got nothing on the Heat in Hell!
What more can I say "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin". Im out like a homeless man's toe in a shoe.