Wednesday, July 21, 2004

"Personals Ad"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

This is Myles Oliver and he is looking for love.  A virgo orignially from Eastern Ave of Northeast DC, won citywide acclaim as a champeen eater. A hot-dogger to say the least, Myles won the Ben's Chilli Dogfest in 1997, by eating a record 37 chilli half-smokes (each half-smoke is worth 1.5 hot dogs, and chilli counts for .5 dogs).The photo above is from Myles at the DC Armory Ham Sammich Games in 2003. He won 6 of the 8 events, including the Heavyweight String Bean Contest, the Live Piñata (this is where you see if you can eat a whole cow), and the Pudding be Me (an event where you jump into a large tub of pudding and eat your way out.) He has often shied away from the dating scene because of his stature and fame in the competitive eating community. Myles enjoys walks in the park, butt-naked poetry, roller-blade critiques, and making his own pot-liquor from his indoor collard garden. Myles is looking for a woman who doesn't mind a man with a heavy workload, and is over 200lbs, unless she is a skinny gemini. To contact Myles or any of our other hoeless romantics, please contact Ethel Womack 301-455-3534, or Truly Johnson 202-365-0927.