Friday, July 09, 2004

"An Overnight Scenario"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

The evening has come and Fella got some plans. Fella just came from working out, and Laquan is awaiting his phone call. Fella just showered and is ready for an evening of camel-like proportions. Laquan is looking right good in that Malibu-Keisha teddy she is wearing, and they proceed to slow-cooking them grits. It is now 12:25 A.M. and he is on his way back to the crib, but stop over Terrell's because he is "greening" his evening.

It is now 12:47 and Fella arrives back at the pad, ready for his Friday of work. Fella gets up irons his jeans for "Casual-Friday" and proceeds to wash-up. Now Fella is a man of 27 years old, about 17 years past that "wash-up" stage. This nigga needs to take inventory. Fella thinks that because he bathed prior to wanning Laquan and "gardening" with Terrell that he can just forego a morning shower. So Fella just gonna up and go to work, smelling like Bath, Body & Works and the after-party of a Ziggy Marley show, not to mention that "Trudeau" cologne he sprays on when he gets in the car.

Fella if you don't get in that shower and WARSH (not wash)yourself. Wash-ups are for people ages 0-120 months. If you are grown, reading this, especially if you over 170 lbs as a female, and 200 lbs as a man, wash-up! Yeah you better wash up, down, around and out. If I have offended anyone who has washed-up intentionally and is at work reading this, you may lower your head in your baby-powdered chest in a shameless funk.

"Funk takes on all angles, and is much more sticky than static cling, and very powerful like one of Bootsy's guitar strings. Glory don't be, the funk aint on me, and hopefully not unto you Ms. Pretty. For funk can find your underarm, or the underlying of your left boobity."
--excerpt from The Black Parliament of Health by Professor Buck Naked--