"How many of us have them?" "A friend you can depend on". I got an email from a GOOD friend of mines the other day and it was a FWD email about being friends forever. Real simple, ideal forward that we pass around SO much that you see your own name on the history of the email. But anyway, along with the attachment was a message from that friend. It was heart-felt and sincere and I can respect that. I wont get into what was said in the message but it was a nice letter. But I began to think about my "Friends". No, dont think Sallimo is about to get sentimental. I just wanted to break down "friends" for yall. We all have all kinds of friends but when you look at it, we all have the same kinda friends. Lets talk about em, shall we?
*The "Never in the house" friend - This friend is hard to find. I mean HARD. You got the boyfriend/girlfriend's house number. You got the grandmother's number. You even got numbers for the OTHER people he/she be wit (Sidebar: Cause every friend has another clique). All this and if the game starts at 7:30, you cant find him till 7:18.
* The "Never go nowhere" Friend. Talk a GREAT game but when the gravy hits the rice, they are in the house. You call em and tell em about something going on and they will get YOU hype. So hype that you're ready to go! I mean you called them to convince them and they RE-CONVINCED you. Brought up all kinds of good reasons why "WE" should go. Call em back when you on your way "naw I aint foolin wit it". Now I aint gonna lie........This is ME all the way. Im the "get hype" man. I will get you hype! But call me and say you 'bout to get ready and see what happens. I told one of my friends "Lets go to NY, like RIGHT NOW". He got hyped! I mean HYPED. He called "wifey and let her know he was gone. Called moms and dad "If you dont hear from me...Im in NY". He called like 15 people in 15 minutes before I could call him back just to say "You know what.....I aint even going"
Sidebar: When somebody say "You know what?...." with that pause, its NOT Good.
* The "Lets Go somewhere" friend: This is that friend that makes WAY more money than you, has more lee-way on his/her job or just dont care about how much money yall spend on when yall come in the house. They'll will have you like "Man dont you know I gotta work tomorrow???". They'll have you out at 3:00 A.M. over their house watching "Menace II Society". The whole time, you KNOW you gotta usher at church tomorrow. You'll be passing them bulletins out wit your eyes RED as koolaid.
* The "We gotta get up" friend. Now this is your real good friend. I mean a GOOD friend. Yall kick it and chill but its NEVER anywhere BUT the phone. You just cant find the time to get up with them but you enjoy your phone time with them. I got PLENTY of friends I aint SEEN in God knows when but we talk like EVERYDAY.
* The "Old Times" friend: This nigga still think yall in High School. Still doing that same ole dumb stuff. Man I am NOT riding wit you in that UUV. For those who dont have criminal-minded friends like I do, UUV stands for Unauthorized Use of a Vehicle. After picking him up from the precinct enough times you'll get to know the police lingo.
* The "Like we never left" friend: He/She is like the "Old Times" friend except not as wild. He/She is funny and yall aint seen each other in 3 years but the sight of 'em by itself makes you laugh. Yall can get back together and its all of a sudden 1995 again.
* The "same old joke" friend: Maybe its just me but, have you ever had a friend that you shared ONE joke with and yall friendship lasts like 15 years off that ONE joke? I see people now and I cant figure out how 1 joke made us friends. Yall mighta seen someone fall and laughed together. You aint even KNOW his/her name but after that yall just kept speaking.
" The "what is his name?" friend: See im a real particular about not hurting peoples feelings. Im great with faces yall.......I really am but, some of yall be speaking to me and I dont know your names. I mean we REALLY cool. You ask me "how such and such doing?", "Did you ever finish this and that?" and I think to myself like "He know alot about me, but what is HIS name?" It's people out here that I rap to EVERYDAY and I never stop to say "Homie, what IS your name?" I dont know about yall but I KNOW when someone doesnt know my name. I have a unique name so its hit or miss. If your name is Dionte but, I'm not sure if it is....... I might could say Dion or Leon REAL low and fast and make Dionte think that I actually said Dionte. But Low and behold..... The truth comes out. Let another person walk in the room. "Hey James this is uhhh................well yall go on and introduce yall selves."
" The "Broke" friend: We all have one of those. Either one steady friend like this or people in your crew take turns being this one. I mean...... DAG, you coulda told me you aint have no money before we got up to the FRONT of the line. Were you hoarse in the car on the way up here? You can be broke, just let me know off the top. But see the broke dude is scared to say he's broke cause he will be put in that "dont answer his calls" category. Or the "I cant just take $15 cause Jimmy is going wit us" category. Whats worse is the "We will need separate checks Ma'am" category cause "broke dude" is always tryna sneak out of Ruby Tuesday's.
So there we have it. I know your friends fit in somewhere amongst these types. The most important thing is that we all express our love for our friends, despite their faults. One day you're here and tomorrow, you maybe gone. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"
"The Underworld that is Metro" Part 2
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.
Public transportation is an interesting place. It is a realm all its own, with a combination of many different types of people forcibly meshed onto a car, bus or ferry. A tricky place to say the least but, remember that there are rules in the belly of this beast.
More often than not ,folks are tired when entering the "Underworld". Whether it is early in the morning or in the afternoon, sometimes you just aren't quite ready for the ride. Please stay awake for goodness sake, stand up if you have you must.
Women do not sleep on the train, it isn't cute. It aint like when your momma checks in on you as a youth, and they say "look at that sleeping angel". Matter of fact it, is far from it. You look uncomfortable, laid back neck looks bound to have a crick in it by the time you get to Van Ness. Your mouth is open, nothing is peaceful about this, your beauty can't save you from it. You could just miss your stop, as you get some mild hibernation looking like the grizzly bear that you hide from society.
Rollers: There are people, some with justifiable reasons, and others just to lazy to carry their own bags. Either way these roll-away bags are the worst. Pick them up and carry them. I am tired of dodging these bags, like a Vietnam vet having flashbacks of landmines dancing in a pit of squirrels. You lazy, trying to look important people pick those bags up.
Post Office workers ride the train, and despite the stories of them being pyscho and all out ignorant people, they are relatively harmless on the train. They appear as regular working people. If you catch them out of their uniforms you might not know they are postal workers. However, all it takes is one Postal worker to spot another and it all comes out. The one not in uniform gets baited into talk of how much back-stabbing goes on at the Post Office. Questions like "You know ole Bates retired?", "Man, you know Tommy Gibbs got fired, Again?", "How much more time you got til you retire?", "Where do you see the future of the Post Office?". The future of the Post Office??? Man what do they think they will be doing? Hand carrying emails or get to wear all black when delivering Blackberry messages!?!?!?! Get next to two postal workers on the train, one might even be retired, that makes it even better. Note: Postal workers tend to speak in civilized profanity, very much different than employees at the Library of Congress.