Monday, June 14, 2004

Sal's Corner

25. 25 years! 25 years old! Man O Man. Its funny that my birthday falls on a Monday. Monday is "Sal's Corner" and on this Monday, I gotta lot to say. So light a candle, play something melodic as I go down memory lane a lil bit. As I turn 25 today, I look back and ask questions to myself. What am I doing with myself? Am I happy? What's next? and MOST important, What have I learned in 25 years???? Let's deal with that last question in particular. What HAVE I learned in 25 years?

* Nobody is gonna do you like YOU do you - Real talk playa. Example: You need a ride from the bus stop/train station. Its cold outside. Your house is up the street but your friend can easily come pick you up. 10 minutes TOPS. This is including, him/her putting on their shoes, finding keys AND driving to the station. What time does your friend end up getting there? About 20-30 minutes after you called!!! Thats just ONE example but my point is, nobody cares about your affairs like YOU do.

* You cant have nothing in the bed but a dream - My father told me that once. I'll NEVER forget it. The early bird gets the worm. If you get up at 12:00 P.M., it'll take you 6 hours to do what you could do in 3 hours if you got up at 7:00 A.M.

* LOOKS DO COUNT - Dont EVER let someone say they dont. Thats NONSENSE and dont believe it. Never judge a book by its cover, but if the cover aint good looking, you'll never pick up the book. Remember one thing, the easiest thing to change is your insides. That could be your attitude, your personality, your morals and beliefs. With effort, you can be a better person. No matter how many religions, phases or personalities you have, you are always gonna be the same person on the outside. I am a lightskin African-American male, usually keep a trimmed beard, low hair cut, so on and so on. Right now almost every person reading this article that knows me has somewhat of a different perception of me. YET, they all will describe me the SAME from a physical standpoint. But to 10 different people, I can be 10 different people. This girl might say "he's the sweetest guy". Shorty over there might say "That nigga aint worth 2 cents". This guy might say "He's a real dude". My man over there might say "I cant stand the dude". Its like this.......Straight up.......Im gonna marry a cute woman!!!! You may laugh now but if you see me wit a DUCK, point me out. Let me know "Sal why are you out in public with this duck??" thats right, im gonna marry a cute woman and if she aint perfect, we can work on that cause Im not perfect either. We just gonna be 2 imperfect, working to be perfect people. Now she maybe cute to ME and not to yall but, at least I'M gonna find her attractive. All yall that wanna date people 'cause they are "Financially Stable", they have a "good career" and they are "so NICE"........ remember dont wake up to that checkbook, career or personality that your spouse has. When you look next to you in the morning that cute one is gonna look like that "Duck" looks AFTER they done showered and got dressed! Im serious. Ladies, dont marry me if you not attracted to me!!! Im dead serious. Cause when you marry someone who you are not attracted to for real, the first thing they do that you dont getz em outta there! Cause if they not gonna be nice, WHAT ARE THEY THERE FOR?????

Note: Some of what I'm saying is a joke but, seriously the moral of the story is not to settle. When it comes to a relationship, go for what you want and not what's available. If it's not there at this point, dont throw in your hand. When it comes to work or representing yourself, take care of yourself. Always present yourself in a good fashion. Sometimes people think that their work is all that matters. But alot of the time, no one will recognize your talents if you don't take some time out and begin to work on your physical presentation. Put that suit on or throw on some cologne or iron that shirt. Because in the end, looks do matter.

* There's no such thing as a "Nice Person" or a "bad person" - That person isn't nasty....... YOU JUST LET THEM TALK FUNKY TO YOU. To someone else they are the sweetest person. If you find yourself in a situation where its ALWAYS you being dogged, look in the mirror.

* Being nice gets you places that money cant take you - My mother said that to me along time ago. And it always proves to be right. Example: You might be at an event. The event maybe $50 to get in. Its a crowd outside and no one can get in. You may have $1,000,000 (A MIYON DOLLAS) in your pockets, but if you talk nasty to the person taking money, you might be outside ALL NIGHT. On the other hand, you might not have NO money. You could walk up and STILL walk right in and Ive seen it happen!!!!!

* Nobody wants to hear your problems - First, let me say life is like this.........1)You're going through a problem and cant deal with someone elses, 2) Your problem is alot BIGGER than the problem someone is bringing to you, 3) Your problem aint HALF as bad as that problem being brought to you or 4) You've been there done that and you cant see why they are tripping off of that problem. My suggestion: dont tell your problems to ANY OLE BODY. Tell it to someone who can and is known for providing good answers. That person is BOUND to fall under the 4 categories so they may brush off your problem but, at least they can give you a good option

* Dont let the opposite sex run your life - Here's a joke. A Dog is walking slowly across a train track. While walking across, a train approaches. The Dog is STILL mozying on along. The dog thinks he can make it without being hit. So he is getting off the track as the train nears. Its a close call. The Dog is ALMOST off the tracks BUT..........the train rips off his tail. The dog goes BACK on the tracks to get his tail. As he does, a train coming from the opposite way floats pass and knocks his head off. MORAL: NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD FOR A PIECE OF TAIL.

* (For the Men) Women dont want your money - NO, they really dont. Women like the attention that money can bring. Money just happens to be an avenue that can lead to drawing major attention. No woman wants a man that no other woman wanted. And when a man is wanted, the attention is drawn. Women like to put their stamp on a man. So whether you are an athlete, businessman or the neighborhood superstar, that woman knows that despite all of your success, she can add something to you that imprints her stamp on you.

* (For the Women). Meekness is NOT Weakness. Women want strong men. I can respect that. Just understand what it is that you really want. Just because he picks the dates and he calls the shots dont make him strong. You know what MEEK means? A meek person knows they can beat you and that they are stronger than you, but they look out on your behalf. He might let you pick the place cause its your day. Maybe it doesnt MATTER where you and him go, as long as he is around you. And just because he doesn't know if he wants chicken or fish tonight does not make him a weak man either. He JUST MIGHT NOT know if he wants chicken or fish on that day! It's not that serious! Ive seen many women who like the outspoken, assertive and aggressive men and they consider that "Strong". Sometimes outspoken, assertive, and aggressive men are JUST LOUD, DUMB and WRONG. If I let you make the decision its only because I trust your judgment, I respect your opinion and we see eye to eye. IF and IF I dont agree......THEN you will see and hear me step forward with my opinion. See ladies, what you see as a "Strong" man sometimes can AND will be irritating 20 years after you've gotten married. I know older women who cant even SAY A WORD to their "Strong" husbands. Men making the decision whether you like it or not. Whether its GOOD or not. As a wife, you help your husband, but alot of these guys who you LOVE for their so- called "strength" aint gonna even let you talk 20 years from now.

and this biggest thing I've learned is.........

* You need people - Never stray away from people. Never close yourself from those who love you. It's good to get away to clear your head but, in this battle of life, it's not all about you. What you see as being "second-nature" maybe be a blessing for someone else. You may not think that you matter but, you do. Most of the people that you see talking to themselves downtown on a corner are those who thought they knew it all. They probably had no support group and they tried to figure it ALL out on their own. We know nothing. We really don't know anything. And when we figure that out and just take each day for what it's worth, we will be alot better off.

After my first 25 years, I can say that I've been blessed. I thank Jesus Christ for keeping me after all this time. I've been in a few situations where I could have literally died but, there is something out here for me to do so, he has kept me. I have friends that have died, doing serious jailtime or stuck in serious situations so I'm always thankful. As always "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"