Monday, June 07, 2004

"Attention Black Women"
By Salvador Gabor

Yes ladies, it's your turn. You will not get off easily. Last week I spoke to the Black Men who read this site. Now I am speaking to my Black Women. I spoke to the men first because it is our responsibility to lead the Black Family through the storms of life. We are the protectors, providers and instructors. Women, you are the nurturers, caretakers and comforters. Along with those traits, women provide countless qualities that can not be grasped from a physical standpoint. Just your presence in the lives of others make such a difference. So today ladies, we need to talk

* The word "Diva". Ladies, is it that serious? Designer bags, hair appointments, manicures, pedicures and so on and so forth. Does it really make you a "DIVA"? This one is dedicated to the YOUNG women. The 18 year old female who feels that a purse makes her somebody. As my older relatives would say "Go somewhere and get some education about yaself!". Do something besides trying to look cute. In big cities across this country, there are young inner-city women who dress like Bo Derek but are living like Bo Diddley! You wear Prada, Louis Vuitton and all of these designer clothes but, your house is run-down. You share a room with your 2 cousins and you have 2 uncles that live in the basement. You work 3 jobs to get a few items to wear and when it's all said and done, you gain nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. If you wanna get fly, babes.......get fly but get some stocks and bonds in your life before you start talking about how much of a "Diva" you are.

* Abuse. Don't stand for it. If a man hits you, he's not for you. Period! If I gotta slap a woman, I'm not gonna be with her. If I have to punch a woman, I'm not gonna be with her. That's just how it is. A man who hits a woman is a man who feels he can no longer get his point across to you verbally. Either he feels that you are dumb as a brick or you are just not going to listen to him at all. Either way, respect has been lost. He has lost respect for you and you have lost respect for him. Now, with that being said, understand one thing.........there is no excuse for him hitting you but, that's not to say he may not have been provoked. BEFORE you take this the wrong way.............hear me out. I've seen this alot ladies. You get in an arguement with a man and begin to start calling him ALL kinds of names. Telling him what he WON'T and AINT do to you. How scared his is. Just totally disregarding his manhood altogether. If you don't talk to men in the street like that, don't talk to your "man" like that. PERIOD. Some of yall talk so sassy in the house and on the phone but, if one of them thug niggas approach you on the street and try to get that number, "you be scared as a mug". Respect yours just as you respect someone in the street.

* Drawing Pictures. I had a female tell me once........."I look at men like a painting. I take a lil of this man and paint him in the picture. I take some of this man and add him, then I take a portion of this man and sprinkle him in a bit". Those weren't her exact words but, to sum it up, she had this idea that she could take characteristics from each man she dealt with and make it into one "dream man". Ladies, wake up! This is not a "dream" so why are you asleep? If you are up, why are you daydreaming? Men like one thing in particular from women. We like to be told what's going on. We hate the hard truth but, we love it as well. If I'm the ugly guy that's just nice enough to bring around your parents, TELL ME. If I'm the guy you call because the guy that you want doesn't converse well over the phone, TELL ME. If I'm the guy who has my goals together and I'm the "husband type" but, you really like that other guy who wears bandana's and tank-tops, TELL ME. We are humans. You can't play "etch-a-sketch" with us. Don't make 5 men into 1 in your mind. If the guy that you are interested in does not have it all, then leave or accept his faults. Stop trying to deal with these guys that you feel are ugly but, you like him because he has a great job. Stop trying to deal with guys that you know are "geeky" yet, they are your personal "gophers" or "flunkies". I'm not saying they can't be great companions and spouses but, deep down you are only with them for a while.

* Co-existing. "I can't stand females....that's why I all my friends are males!". Most females say this to men thinking it's cute. Baby, slim, shorty, honey........that's not cute. AT ALL. As a matter of fact, that's a complete turn-off. It's 2004, and we are all grown. If a woman looks at you wrong or "hates" on you, make her get on your level. Where no love is present, you show more love. Being "catty" is played out. Especially if you are above the age of 21. Women, yall have to be able to co-exist. Women networking together can be a powerful tool. There is no limit when women come together. And as BLACK Women, it is definitely important. Our young girls are running crazy right now. Someone needs to step in and put forth some effort into salvaging the situation.

* 3-day Work Week. I heard one woman say that she wants to marry a man who makes enough money so that she only has to work 3 days a week. When I first heard it, I thought it was an isolated comment. But over the last 5 years, I'm hearing MORE and MORE women saying this. Almost in the exact words as the first woman that I heard say it. I mean.......Did yall have a meeting to discuss this newly implemented work week? More importantly, did yall bother to ask us if we wanted 2 extra days off as well? You can't be independent, equal and respected by men if you all of a sudden wanna get "old-fashioned" and let US be the breadwinners. Yall always wanna be equal but, when it's time to put the air conditioner in the window it's always "Honey that thing is too big for me to help you carry". Yall always wanna be equal but, when that rat is in the basement, we gotta go down there. Shoot.....I'm scared of rats too. Point want to be equal......well equal is not having a 3-day work week! You betta stop depending on a man to bring in the money. I know a woman who has been married for decades and STILL keeps about $100-$200 in her pocket when her and her husband go outta town. She told me........"You NEVER know what could happen". In so many words, she's been married for years but, she never knows......... that nigga STILL might leave her down Georgia on I-95!

That's my time. Look forward to next week's edition of Sal's Corner. 6/14/04 happens to be my 25th Birthday. I will definitely have something special to say on that day. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"