Tuesday, May 11, 2004

By Salvador Gabor

* This is for all you old folk who claim that your back hurts but, you amazingly can dance at the cookouts. "Electric Slide" online classes are now available. You can register for classes at www.myneckmyback.com/slide/steppintotheoldies.htm . If that is too difficult for the old folks you can contact Eunice "Muncie" Richards for more info at (301) 455-3534.

Continuing with the "education" theme..........

* This summer, The Salvador Gabor Project will host it's first annual "Avid Crab Eaters" Conference. Topics such as "How to avoid getting sauce on your hangnails", "When to bite the shell", "Why white shirts aren't the best for crab-eating?" and "How to properly greet people when your hands and chest smell like fish". Stay posted and tuned into The Salvador Gabor Project for more details in the near future

"To Owe or Own: The Road That Leads to Over"
By Salvador Gabor

Relationships and friendships are valuable to a person's life. No one wants to be alone, no matter how much they deny it. It's cool to be alone for a while but at some point, we all need a person that we will interact with for the rest of our lives. Picking friends and a mate for life can be tricky. With friends, we sometimes can get caught up in just entertaining each other. Never going beyond a laugh or a good time. Never getting a chance to realize the other capabilities that a friend may have. In relationships, we never get beyond being "in love". That "in love" state doesn't last forever. And if you are depending on that to get you through, you may be mistaken.

I've always wondered why some people stay together as friends or lovers for years and years? Each day is filled with arguing, fighting, shouting and using negative language to "communicate" to each other. Is it worth it for them to be together? What is the true cause of the confusion? Many times it comes down to what you think you owe or what you think you own. A wife/husband is a partner or teammate in the "game" of life. If we've learned anything from sports in recent times, we've learned that it's never a good outcome when teammates criticize each other publicly. Also, the disagreements that are established in the locker room will and shall unveil themselves on the playing surface. A wife/husband should be a person that you desire to love. In any "game" or sport, what makes playing the "game" fun is when the people around you enjoy the "game" as much as you and that they play the "game" well with you. You also have to enjoy playing the "game" with them. When your purpose in a relationship/marriage is to love someone else and forget about what you get in return, then the "game" goes much smoother. But, many times we focus on "what have you done for me lately?".

To owe someone means that you have a debt with that person. That person has extended some service to you and you need to repay that person. If you borrowed $50 from someone, you are supposed to pay back $50. You never go beyond what you owe. Or I should say, you don't HAVE to go beyond what you owe. Even if interest is applied, all the interest does is to help equate the value of that $50 at this day and time. In relationships, if you feel that you owe someone something, you will only give until you feel your debt is paid. So therefore, husbands and wives live for years only giving because they feel that they owe their mate. If everything is equal, then both parties are hesitant to give. "Well HE needs to speak to me........I'm tired of having to speak to him first". "She don't even ask me if I'm hungry, I cook for her all the time". It's the small things in life that cause the biggest trouble in relationships. And it's all because we as people feel a need to keep a scorecard on what people do for us.

To own means that you have earned the right to make an outright decision on the possession that you have ownership of. You may not have always paid for what you own but, you are the caretaker of that possession and the last word goes through you. Just because you put a ring on someone's finger doesn't mean that you own them. Remember, you joined together in holy matrimony because you CHOSE to do so. You chose to love that someone. You chose to care for that someone. You chose to be there for that someone. And the day that those choices change, you are free to go. Oh yes, there are consequences for doing so. But, it's your decision. You can't make your mate do what you want them to do. You can only hope that love and the promise made in the committment leads them to respect your wishes.

In life, you owe on and own possessions. People are not possessions to be sold or to put a price tag on. We take for granted those who are the closest to us. We scream at our mates but, treat people in the street with the utmost respect. We are quick to acknowledge what we bring to the table but, never stop and thank God for the person who fills in the gap for our shortcomings. You can own or owe on a house or car. A house and a car can be destroyed and more than likely if you could, you would move on to a bigger house and a bigger car anyway. These material possessions are at the mercy of you and your desires. You use them to your fulfill your pleasures. Houses, cars and other possessions don't have feelings. THESE are the things that you own or owe on.