Friday, May 28, 2004

"Tips While in the Jungle"
By Salvador Gabor

Today is Friday. The Friday before Memorial Day. The Friday before the holiday that marks the day that everyone starts acting real niggerish. I just feel yall need a "Heads Up" on what to expect. I would hate to see you guys caught off guard. Here are a few things. I won't elaborate but, just take them into mind and know that it's a strong possibility that you will see them


* People who you deem to be "too old" blasting hip-hop in the ride

* Tank Tops. Tank tops are normally seen but not the regular ones. But the ones with the real thin shoulders and they hang down real low will be out. Off colors like Purple and Red too!

* A "Cuss-Out". Niggas get entirely too drunk on Memorial Day Weekend. This is the weekend where someone might find out that their uncle is really their daddy

* Adults bringing beer to kids' birthday parties. No gifts for the child, just Buds and Heinekens.

* You are bound to see a co-worker downtown somewhere with his girlfriend. His whole attitude is different. He aint nothing but a mail clerk on the job site but he gotta 325 BMW and a short set on with some shades.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

"Excerpts from a Diary : volume 5.27.04"
By Salvador Gabor



Dear Diary,

Today was a very tough day. I started my day out early. I gotta "page" from Ms. Ruby around the corner. She wanted a "dime" rock but I only planned to sell "twenties" and "fifties" today. It was 6:00 A.M. and she had already woke me up so, I "served" her.

At about 9:00 A.M., the block was pumpin! The "first" is a few days away but, my "yiggidities" couldn't stay in my pocket.........or should I say my "back pocket". I keep my "crack" tucked in my drawls. I bet the neighbors probably think I don't wash good and my butt is itching but, Im gettin' this paper. Mrs. Alberta is always in her window looking at me. I'm glad she's deaf. If not she could tell EVERYTHING on me.

At about 1:30 P.M., the "feds" rolled through. I aint trippin' off them niggas. They some suckas anyway. They stopped, put me on the car and tried to go in my socks looking for "crack". By that time, I was just waiting on "Lil Bear" to come serve me wit some more weight. I was dry as skin on an elbow. So they had to let me go.

3:45, I'M BACK! "Lil Bear" just gave me what I need to continue my pumpin. I made $300 this morning, and I don't plan on sleeping no time soon. hmmmmmmm I should just wear this sweatsuit ALL weekend. So what....... it's Memorial Day............YEP that's it, mind's made up! I'm out here on these bricks ALL night in the same clothes till Tuesday!

5:50 P.M. Yesterday I told myself...........I said "C-Bone, you are not gonna slap, kick, steal, punch, or shoot ANYMORE Dope Fiends!". Well that lasted about 17 hours. Cause "Dirty Percy" came around the corner and bought some "yay" from my man "Scoot". AND IN MY FACE FOR THAT MATTER! That nigga Percy KNOW he owe me $17. I gave him a $40-rock for $23. Percy, you aint slick nigga. I know you spent that $17 on a bottle of "Andre". I don't even do credit. So I took a cylinder brick and hit em in the gut. YEP, the gut. When I picked it up, he thought I was going for the face so he covered up. Open season on that rib-cage. When I hit em there, he fell and me and "Scoot" stomped em out. "Scoot" still had his $20 and never "served" em.

9:00 P.M. Baby Moms came through. I had Shemia in the other room. Shemia comes out to get some Mad Dog out the fridge and that's when things went down hill. Knives were pulled and they weren't pointed at each other. They both went to chase me.

2:30 A.M, So here I am, no socks, no shoes, no pants, no shirt. Just some boxers and a pen, writing this entry. Shemia and Baby Moms have locked me out. I should have never went in the house any ole way! I said I was out here ALL weekend. Out here bangin on this block tryna get some "ink". I see "Gary the Mechanic" coming. He may want some "butter". Lemme check my "inventory". And NO Mrs. Alberta...........my butt isnt itchin!


Yours Truly,
Carlton "C-Bone" Williams

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

"CIAA Champeens"
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.



We would like to salute the CIAA Champion Virginia State "Bulls". The "Lady Bulls" took home the CIAA Championship in "Big Girls Jump Rope" this past weekend in Durham, NC. Not to be mistaken with the "Woo-Woo's", the "Moo Moo's" celebrated their 1st Conference Championship in the past 5yrs, and 8th in the past 2 decades. The "Moo Moo's" defeated Shaw, St. Augustine's and the heavily favored Lady Bruins of Bowie State.

The Moo Moo's won their "Big Girls Jump Rope Chamionship" on the strength of their quartet of 250 pound jumpers, called the "4 Quarters". Veronica Blackwell, Candy Thomas, NaKeisha Davenport, and Jamie Bowman moved as gracefully as sugar monkeys swinging through banana trees. They performed their routines "Lemon-Lime", "Jello Boogie", "Potato Salad", and "Poison Ivy City". These young heavies showed their extraordinary skill and footwork all season and it paid off in Durham this past weekend.

3 of the "4 Quarters" are from Washington, DC, and the fourth, Candy Thomas is from Henrico, which is just outside of Richmond. Oh but Jamie Bowman, aka "Big Bowman" took home the tournament's MOP, sponsored by the "Really-Dough Doughnut Shop". The Most Obese Performer, "Big Bowman" sewed up the title with her individual performance in the double-rope with a dazzling performance she calls "Honey Mustard". Veronica Blackwell, aka "Downtown", took second in the competition. Blackwell was elated after her team's victory, and led the "Moo Moo's" in their victory dance, "Shake it like a Polarbear on Roids".



"Ole Justice"
By Salvador Gabor



"Justice", I'm writing this love letter to you because, I don't think that you and I see things on the same wave-length anymore. I am hurt and upset at the fact that you've treated me this way for so long. I took all of the punishment that you threw at me. What's messed up is.......I really loved you "Justice". Where did we go wrong? How did all of this happen?

When I was introduced to you, I was told that you couldn't see that well. Matter of fact when I got your number, I called you the next day and you didn't even remember my face. I never looked at your vision as a setback because, "Love is Blind". And I love you "Justice".............well at least I thought I did.

"Justice", after we met, I started noticing things about you. Things that I didn't like. I am supposed to be your friend yet, I'm criticized for EVERYTHING I do. All the while, your rich friends get away with murder (literally)! You give me brief conversation but, your rich friends come and see you for days and days only to be "slapped on the wrist" when they do something dangerous. In my life, if I make a mistake, it's probably harmless at first. If I break a rule, it's probably "just to get by". I don't mean any harm at all. If I did anything to hurt you, it may have been because I couldn't visualize the whole scheme of things. Yet, your rich buddies KNOW what they are doing and you let them "slide".

Even though I am a man, I looked to you for protection. You were the woman that stood strong for me when those people in high places tried to take advantage of me. You used to let your "cousins" on your father side (The Jury Family) sit and listen to me when I had a problem. Then your rich friends turned around and bought them out too.

I'm not going to rant and rave. All I can say "Justice" is that we had something. It was special. I was the gentlemen that I thought you needed in your life. Whenever we "ate", I waited for YOU to get "served" first. But, when you "eat" you are never satisfied. And I'M definitely not satisfied because I never get to eat AT ALL. "Justice", I DON'T love you anymore. I really don't. You are a two-timing, money hungry, stingy brat. And you weren't there for me when I needed you. I've taken all of the blame for the bad things that were passed on to me from your high-ranking friends. I admit, I was wrong and you don't have to treat me special. Just treat me fairly. That's all I ask of you "Justice"


Yours Truly,
Leslie "Nigga" James




Tuesday, May 25, 2004

LSE Success Tip (5/25/04)
By Reggie Dinkins, Jr.



"Dont drink hot orange juice, it might be made by Sonny and Dwight"
--Phillip "Buckets" McGraw--


"Courage" is that nigga in the dark alley, wearing a T-shirt in December. He tries to look like "Tough", since they share the same clothes.

"Confidence" is man who wears many hats. He hangs out in PTA meetings, counseling centers, and with pimps. Everybody needs "Confidence"..... from disinfranchised youth, to battered wives, to a hooker not exceeding her earning potential.

"Support" is a hard dude to catch up with. However I will tell you where to find him. He often attends many repasses, is on the phone with jailed buddies, and in the dressing room at Hechts. "Support" is needed by all, from the grievers to the wrongfully incarcerated, to a woman looking for an underwireless life.

"Succeed" is that old man who teaches elementary school. You hear so much about him as a youth. Just because he is old doesnt mean he knows nothing, ask him about his son "Success".

"Receptive" is a nigga you might pass everyday on the street. If you would only take that walkman off, you might learn something.

One eye closed might not necessarily be a wink, it might be a stigmatic twitch in an eye hit with a switch. Close one eye and see if things get clearer, if they dont go wash thine eye, any sleep in your eye that lasts more than five minutes after awakening is no longer sleep, it is just nast.




Remember the Time?
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


"Back in the day when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again." Ironically, I can't remember the guy that made this classic song, but I remember that feeling. I wish I could go back to the mid eighties and early nineties again. Back when being a kid, really meant being a kid and not getting shot by a stray bullet every other week. We are the last generation that actually had childhoods. When we were coming up, sadly it was said that just making it to 21 was an accomplishment. Nowadays, making it to 15 is miracle! Today's youth won't have anything to look back and reminisce on beside funerals at this rate. We have to save the children y'all but in the meantime, let's do like Pete Rock and CL Smooth and reminisce...


Remember the "Free Mike Tyson" t-shirts?

Remember Boston Baked Beans candy? The best part was blowing on the empty box and having a bootleg Kazoo.

Remember .15 cents bag of sunflower seeds for the broke kids that didn't have .50 cents for a big bag?

Remember kickball at recess?

Remember the big party on the last day of school? Everybody brought potato chips.

Remember permission slips? (Married men still have to get theirs signed.)

Remember Young MC? (Now don't just stand there bust a move!)

Remember Video Soul?

Remember when MTV didn't show any Black videos?

Remember when there was no cable and TV "went off" around 2:00 AM?

Remember Push Pops?

Remember Church's Chicken?

Remember Officer Friendly and the Side By Side Band? (If you went to DC public schools, you know.)

Remember lunch tickets?

Remember when the Metro bus cost 85 cents?

Remember the Smurfs?

Remember Teen Wolf? The Goonies?

Remember Troop? No, not the singing group, the tennis shoes?

Remember that song, "Liiiiiiiiife, life is what you make it, so come here, my dear. Tryyyyy and make it, I know that you wiiillllll. RAGGAMUFFIN, love come gimme da raggamuffin." (Who sang that?)

Remember when crack "came out"?

Remember Super Tims?

Remember when Michael Jackson was really the King of Pop? (And how every kid ruined their grandmother's communion gloves by putting glue and glitter all over them.)

Remember flat-top haircuts? Remember getting lines in the side of your head (*Cough* *Cough* Michael Irvin)

Remember when Doug "Touch of Class" Williams won Super Bowl MVP and we got out of school for the parade?

Remember pencil fighting? Spork fighting? (Spork fighting was truly an art.)

Remember when Eddie Murphy was funny? When we were kids, he was for the adults. Now that we're grown, he's all about the kids.

Remember when Prince actually wore purple?

Remember Freaky Friday?

Remember 500 C Street?

Remember playing "That's my car!"

Remember playing "Throwback"?

Remember Bart Simpson T-shirts?

Remember Dear God, It's Me Margaret? (I know the ladies remember this book.)

Remember when we didn't know what e-mail or cell phones were?

Remember pencil pocket Guess jeans?

Remember when Big Macs came in those styrofoam boxes?

Remember "Zayres"?

Remember the "Ya Mama's on Crack Rock Song"? (Not my mama)

Remember getting a whooping for actually doing something wrong and not because you were just walking too slow?

Remember when our parents actually spent time with us and took us places instead of depending on the school to take you on a field trip?

Remember the good ol' days?

I miss 'em.



Monday, May 24, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Hygiene Tips"



It's hot outside. Plain and simple. The hotter it gets, the better you BETTER smell. In the cold, people aren't out much. When they are, they are rushing to get out of that cold. On top of all that, most of us have the "sniffles" and cant smell that funk if it's near. But, you better straighten up and fly right in this here summer!


* Baby Powder - This is optional. Baby Powder DOES make you feel a bit more fresh. But, when you put it on........if I can SEE the powder......such as it being on your neck or legs, just wipe that portion off. Powder is meant for the places we CAN'T and shouldn't see. If we can see the powder, that means you put too much. You don't need powder ALL on your neck. You downtown at lunch looking like you just left your part time job at BOJANGLES........... "Girl you gotta put your ELBOW in dem biscuits!!".

* Socks and shorts - OK old men, maybe YOU need some powder in YOUR shoes instead of wearing socks with Khaki shorts. You don't want your feet to stink but I don't need you looking like you getting ready to play Women's Volleyball either.

* Women and shorts - Ladies I know sometimes yall wanna relax. You may not have the proper relaxing gear. You might go out and want to change into something else. You may get dirty and want to throw on some of our gym shorts. But don't make us force you to keep the shorts once you are done. Sometimes yall sweat out our shorts and when you give them back, all we need is some bread and tarter sauce to make the "Fish Sandwich" complete.

* Deodorant - We're not gonna stay on this one long. I feel if you aren't homeless and you call yourself a sane individual then, I assume that you use some sort of deodorant. Well just make sure if you have on a tank-top, cut-off tee or a blouse that exposes your whole arm, use roll-on deodorant. That crumbly deodorant is seasonal. All that white residue leaves yall arms look like old jean pockets. You might find lint, cotton balls or an old receipt from the "Great American Buffet" under there.

* Undershirts - This is angled to the fellas. You NEED undershirts. Sometimes tank-tops don't do it. If that white shirt is too thin, your back will be showing once that sweat starts in this heat. That white-tee becomes sheer in 90 degree weather. The undershirt maintains the form of your shirt along with capturing the majority of the sweat. Now, we are not gonna even talk when you are dressed up! PLEASE don't wear dress shirts without some form of an undershirt.

* Candy - The most sure way to clear up bad breath is simply a better diet. Bad breath comes from within. But, a short remedy is candies. Mints, gum, lollipops, etc. can give you an instant sweetness when you talk. In the summer you run from cookout to cookout. You leave one and go to another. People can't even focus on you and what you are saying. All the person can hear is that bag of onions coming up from your throat.

* Bathing - (I gotta BOLD this WHOLE SECTION). Im dead serious on this one. I heard something the other day that I haven't heard in some time now. I heard an ADULT say, "Im gonna take a bath tonight so I aint gotta take one in the mornin'". WHAT!!!!!!!!!! Lemme tell yall something. A bath/shower at night does not suffice for tomorrow. Babes.......it's a new day! That shower on 6/1/04 don't mean nothing for 6/2/04. I take showers in the morning AND at night. The morning shower makes me straight for the rest of my day and the night shower makes my sleep more comfortable. If I DON'T take one at night, it's cause I wasn't moving too much that day or I took my first shower very late (Day off from work). But BEST believe, I aint leaving the house for WORK without showering. Yall ought to be ASHAMED of yall selves. Putting on your "good" clothes and you AINT EVEN put no soap on your "tater". "WASHUPS" do NOT count baby! Wiping that ole rag on your face, ears, underarms and between yo' legs aint it playboy. You got to hit that water for real playa! In the summer, I might take 2 showers AND a "Washup". Im a grown man. It's gets funky out chere. That "take a bath at night for tomorrow" is for kindergarteners. When you turn about 8 and you start getting musty...........and Mom's says it's time to start using deodorant..........that "take a bath at night for tomorrow" stuff is gone out the window.


These are just a few good tips needed for all you "too grown to be funky" people out here.


A Good Hoodrat
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


Salutations all, I hope every one is doing well on this glorious day. As many of you know, I am an attorney in Washington, DC and in my life, I must say that I have been privileged to have many experiences that many can only dream of. I grew up in the "hood" but, I have risen above the obstacles that have made many others stumble. I have shaken the hands of Presidents, Congressmen, and Judges. I have broken bread with famous celebrities and I have traveled the world. I have dated beautiful women, many of whom are considered to be in the "upper echelon" of society. In my dealings with these so-called "high class" women, I have learned a very important life lesson. For all the glitz and glamour that comes with these women, I realized that I need a good "hoodrat". You see, you can take me out the hood, but you sure can't take the hood out of me. So fellas, find yourself a good hoodrat and embrace her "hoodratness." The benefits of a good hoodrat are endless. Let's discuss...


A good hoodrat brings her own liquor and weed to the party.

A good hoodrat keeps a shank on her at all times (and knows how to use it).

A good hoodrat knows how to make a mean bowl of grits.

A good hoodrat always has a Phillie blunt in her purse just in case somebody has some weed.

A good hoodrat knows how to drive a Lincoln Town Car, Cadillac Seville, or Caprice Classic (and don't need no help parallel parking).

A good hoodrat has a good government job or she works for a law firm downtown.

A good hoodrat is always down for some hot, rough sex as long as she ain't on her period.

A good hoodrat will buy you something every time she goes to the mall.

A good hoodrat knows what to get you from the carry out without asking.

A good hoodrat only has ONE "Baby daddy" if she has kids.

A good hoodrat pays her rent on time.

A good hoodrat did at least two semesters at community college or graduated from UDC.

A good hoodrat will treat her nigga to a meal at Barn Side at 3:00 in the morning.

A good hoodrat has a value pack of Blow Pops in her kitchen right now.

A good hoodrat hasn't seen you in days when the police come looking.

A good hoodrat tries to hook your boys up with her girlfriends.

A good hoodrat keeps a fifth of Remy on chill for you.

A good hoodrat goes to church at least once a month.

A good hoodrat doesn't think she is fat (she knows that she is PHAT to death).

A good hoodrat keeps a pack of Juicy Fruit in her purse.

A good hoodrat can play some spades.

A good hoodrat can cornrow a nigga whole head in 10 minutes flat.

A good hoodrat watches Wheel of Fortune.

A good hoodrat knows all the words to 2Pac's "All Eyez on Me" and Scarface's "The Diary"

A good hoodrat has good credit.

A good hoodrat used to have a Sprint phone but switched to Verizon so she can talk while she is on the Metro.

A good hoodrat is trying to move to "Murrland". (Don't leave, The City needs you.)

A good hoodrat has a few stretch marks.

A good hoodrat still has a scar from a childhood catfight.

A good hoodrat loves going to a Cabaret.

A good hoodrat will hold her man down when times are tough.

A good hoodrat has had both long braids and "straw curls" at one point in her life.

A good hoodrat ain't ashamed to shop at Discount Mart (Me neither, boo).

A good hoodrat always calls her man, "My boo __________."

A good hoodrat know how to treat her man in the bedroom.

A good hoodrat stays getting her nails done (A REAL GOOD hoodrat only gets a French manicure).

A good hoodrat might get in a pool but if you get her hair wet, she is beefing!

A good hoodrat loves her Mama to death.

A good hoodrat still has a boom box.

A good hoodrat has a bag of "David" Sunflower seeds on her dresser right now.

A good hoodrat orders chicken fingers at every restaurant!

A good hoodrat loved Jodeci and thought BoyzIIMen was too soft.

A good hoodrat at one time owned a pair of red loafers.

A good hoodrat always looks GOOD in a pair of tight jeans.

A good hoodrat wraps her hair at night in her brothers dingy old bandana.

A good hoodrat wears her house shoes to the corner store on occasion (Me too, boo).

A good hoodrat smacks her lips and starts her sentence with "Giirrrrrllll...." when you ask her what she did last night, while sitting on her porch on the phone with the extra long cord so it can reach outside, wearing that dingy bandana and her house shoes.

A good hoodrat is love.

I love hoodrats.

Friday, May 21, 2004

"The First Time I Said Yes....."
By Salvador Gabor


The first time I said "Yes".........it's like I never said "NO". Doesn't always seem like that? Forget the first time I said "No". That's irrelevant right now. The first time I said "Yes"........what about that?? Is that an opened door to "flunky-hood"? I'm confused.

You can give someone a ride ONCE, and they think that one-day pass lasts forever. What part of the game is that? Where do they do that at? Since when does one act of kindness mean that it's "All 2 da good" when it comes to getting a favor from da ole boy? People tend to think that you are on their agenda. So if you really can't do the favor for them, they think you are "shady". One note for thought...........$3 or $4 of gas aint worth me taking you out to the boondocks. Unless you're giving me $20 for my time and efforts, I can't swing it playboy.

Ladies, sweeties, honeybuns, preciouses. Just because I told you that I would ride to the mall with you, doesn't mean I want to ride to the outlets too. Take me home. That's for real. Fellas, ladies always want you to go to the mall with them or somewhere that you don't feel like going. They want to see how far they can go and how much they can aggrevate you. I've said "No" before. This is NOT the first time.

Old people. Lemme tell you a thang or two. "Yes" I took you to drop your clothes off at the cleaners. "Yes" I sat with you and helped you put together your DVD player. And you still call my mother looking for me to help you change the channels. You are gonna make me say "NO" real soon.

I'm really a nice guy beneath all of the teasing that I do on this site. I don't wanna keep yall long. It's Friday and it's nice out. Just remember, "The first time I said YES, it's like I never said NO".




"The Playa's Summit Network"
By Salvador Gabor


Playas across this mighty nation are aligning themselves together to display true playamenship by coordinating a nationwide tour. "The Playa's Summit Network" simply has ONE goal. "To show niggas how to do it in STYLE". That is the motto and model for 2004. Everyone is caught up button-up shirts and cufflinks but, this summit will bring out other fashion techniques for the playas. The first stop on the tour will be in Norfolk, VA. The itinerary for the weekend is as follows:


June 18th, 2004

a) Breakfast Brunch at the Waffle House

b) Open Forum (Topic: Males and Manicures)

c) Lunch at Picadilly's

d) Breakout Session (Topic: When to go beyond regional styling)

e) Dinner at the Salad/Hot Bar at Piggly Wiggly's



June 19th, 2004

a) All day party at Pernell Whitaker's House in Norfolk.

b) An award will be given to "Junebug" Jenkins for his efforts to coordinate this whole affair

c) Brief memorial service for Harold Pennyworth A.K.A. "Thunda Kat". He had a brief stint as a background actor. His big break was when he was standing directly behind Bill Cosby in "Uptown Saturday Night". He was a pioneer for fashion in the late 90's at the end of the "Double-Breasted" suit era. He tried to keep it alive. He sho' did!


June 20th, 2004

a) Church Service at the 14th Baptist Church of Rip Rap Road in Hampton, VA

b) Cookout at Mrs. Odessa's house. The VIP room will be in the "Back Room"/Den of the house




For more info call us at (301) 455-3534. Ask for Granddaddy Willie.


Thursday, May 20, 2004

"Reading Material"
By Salvador Gabor


Reading is a key fundamental to gaining knowledge and being educated. Education and knowledge are keys to the path called success. The following are a few educational novels that can be used as information tools in your travels to success boulevard.

"Long Live Lester: The Story of Lester Metcalf"

This book entails the journeys of a self made Pimp. "Long Live Lester" is a true story of a man who went from begging for change outside of "Horace & Dickey's" Fish Frying House to driving Cutlass' and Delta 88's. Lester Metcalf has now made millions selling fake Versace shirts out of the back of his van. He talks about what it takes to be a street hustler/pimp. "Everything has it's own market, ya know! I can't sell these 5X Prada T-Shirts wit da loose collars downtown but, Leo and his wife Glenda may want a few". This book is definitely a must-read!


"Family Business: The Autobiography of James "Cotton" Williams"

"Ain't no lovin' like humpin a cousin". These are the words that "Cotton" lives by. Ole "Cotton" does EVERYTHING in the family. Why not???? You have to read the book to see why. "Cotton" steals from his family. Sells BACK the merchandise to other family members. "Cotton" steals checkbooks from his mamma and writes bounced checks to his aunts for the "Katydids" that they are selling. If you sit down and read the book, you can see why he does what he does. He gives you 100 tips on taking advantage of the idea of "family".


These books and more like them are available at "Mr Bumpa's Books and Thangs". Or you can order them over the phone. (301)455-3534. As for "BIG Bumpa". "Lil Bumpa" might answer but, you don't wanna speak to him.


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

"Loose Bowels"
By Salvador Gabor



"Loose Bowels" can be a tough situation to deal with. "Loose Bowels" can be the most embarrassing thing to deal with in a public situation. You are all the way down at Kings Dominion, Six Flags, or Disney World and your stomach wants to show out! Why didn't it act like this when you were in the backyard packing the sodas and honey buns in the rental car??? Your stomach could have gave you the signal WAY before you got up in the amusement park. Now you gotta go sit on them nasty stools in the park. Furthermore, you gotta run from your friends and act like you don't have to use the stool. "I'll be right back." Then they say "Where are you going?". Then you YELL "LOOK I'LL BE RIGHT BACK". But, it's hard to leave the group because everyone travels in groups at the amusement park.

Now I know and you know that this "Loose Bowels" article goes deeper than taking a "dump" unexpectedly. "Loose Bowels" is a problem that many of us have. Sometimes our stomach is not the problem. Sometimes "Loose Bowels" isn't even about using the restroom at all. It's about the way we carry ourselves.

Before we go that far, let's look at "Loose Bowels". What are some of the symptoms and signs of "Loose Bowels"? Well, first off there is a sharp pain that comes to you. That pain usually comes from something that you have taken or eaten. You ate of something that you shouldn't have. And now, you are full of "mess". Once the pain comes, there is a sudden DROP. That DROP is the feeling that this "mess" is gonna come out NOW. The next step is to "Clinch". You gotta hold your butt tight so that the "mess" doesn't come out. Then you have to RUN as fast as ever to the nearest place to get rid of that "mess". But, once you get to where you can get rid of that "mess", it's the best feeling. You take a deep breath and all of a sudden you no longer care if anyone knows you had to take a "dump". The funny thing is that you will probably turn back around and get another bowl of chili and that "Loose Bowels" will be back after you sooner or later.

In this "Amusement Park" that we know as life, we sometimes take in the wrong stuff. It affects our body and mind. It tastes good but, it can have a bad outcome. That pain comes in. THEN there's that DROP. That DROP causes us to "clinch" and try to hold ourselves together and make everyone else think that we are alright, even though we are about to explode! We RUN to get rid of that "mess". We may run to a family member, a church, or a friend that we know that has some good advice to get rid of our "mess". These people are our "restrooms". As soon as we get rid of the "mess" in the "restroom", we take a deep breath. That breath relieves us and we go back to eating the "chili" that this world has to offer. But, if you're gonna eat all of that "chili", you betta stay close to the "restroom".

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Just My Thoughts
By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


What's happening folks? Its been a while, but this legal profession is not a game. I hope this finds you all in good spirits. Now usually, I pick one topic and I share my views with you good people. Today, however, I'm going to give my take on a few topics of interest. I could go on and on, but I'll try to keep it brief for each topic. Follow me if you will...

"No homo": The rampant usage of this phrase needs to stop. Not now, but right now. A real man does not need to qualify any statement that he makes by using this phrase. A real man is confident in his sexuality and doesn't not feel the need to tell anyone that he's "no homo." If you are a real man, it will speak for itself.

This "Down Low" Nonsense: To all my beautiful sistas out there, don't believe the hype!!! I know there are some men who are secretly gay, but there are many more real brothers out here that want you. Don't give in to all the media attention being given to this so-called "phenomenon." Remember who controls the media. This is just another tactic to destroy the Black family and widen the gap between Black men and Black women. They want you to believe that we are either gay or in jail, or that all the good ones are married. There plenty of good brothers out here, just open your eyes.

Fitted Caps: What's up with you guys wearing the sticker on the brim of your fitted caps? Why do you want to inform us that you wear a "New Era" Size 7 5/8? Is the sticker necessary? Are you planning on returning the hat? Is it covering a stain? A hole? Are you too lazy to peel it off? Its a cap, not a mattress, you can tear it off. This is really one of life's mysteries to me.

HBCU Graduations: I went to both Hampton and Howard's graduation ceremonies this year. (I refuse to get into the HU v. HU debate anymore. I am a proud Hampton Alum but, big respect to Howard too, HBCU's unite) Anyway, it's always good to see Black families together at this time of year. Congrats to all the graduates and their families for supporting them.

"Soul Plane": Black people, please don't go see this movie. I beg you. This has got to stop. Hollywood is going to keep making these kinds of movies as long as we keep wasting our money going to see them. I'm all about supporting Black actors and all and I don't totally blame them, but c'mon?? A plane with hydraulics and spinners? Is that REALLY funny? I'm all for a good comedy, but all I ask for is some balance. How about a good Black drama or action movie? I had a heated discussion about Black cinema the other night so I'm not going to go into it in depth right now, but some of y'all may remember this old Public Enemy song, all I have to say is "Burn, Hollywood, Burn".

Voting: Go vote in November, it only takes a few minutes.

The War: I'm not going to get into my feelings on the war other than I am against it. But I just found out that a friend of my brother and myself is leaving on Monday for Iraq. God bless him and his family. I hope he makes it back to see his daughter grow up.

The Youth: This is for the Black men especially, they need us. If you have young kids in your neighborhood, talk to them, guide them, be a positive influence. Find a young Black boy in your neighborhood and be his friend. Give them things to do. Pay them a few dollars to wash your car or clean your yard. Teach them the value of hard work. Then teach them to save some of the money that they just earned. Show them a picture of a friend of yours that you lost in the streets and tell him why your friend is no longer living. Teach them that there is more to life, than the streets. If you don't ever listen to me, listen now, save the children.

My quote for the day: "Do not wait for ideal circumstances, nor the best opportunities; they will never come." --Janet E. Stuart

Until next time, be easy....




"Bugs"
By Salvador Gabor


Recently, I've heard alot of talk of certain bugs or insects that will appear in bunches and annoy us for a few weeks and then leave for about 17 years. These bugs come around for about 2 weeks, every 17 years or so. We see them and the whole time that we see them, they make lots of noise and we can't wait until they're gone. No I'm not talking about "Cicadas", I'm talking about "Baby Fathers".

As a man, I feel that when I decide to have kids, I will take responsibility for my kids. FULL responsibility that is! I don't use the term "Baby Father" but, if you only come around for two weeks, mate with the "baby mother" and leave again for "17 Years", then that's what you are. It's always been funny to me to see "baby fathers" in action. They straighten up for a little while. They start going to church and all of a sudden everyone else is dead wrong if they are not headed to church on the Sunday when the "baby father" is headed to church. All of a sudden, the "baby mother" seems to just always have to drop his name in EVERY conversation. "Oh girl, Big Bill bought me this". "Big Bill was JUST saying the SAME thing honey!". "Big Bill took lil Bill to get a suit". But, it seems that the "baby mother" should know that "Big Bill" aint gonna be around long. He might drop off a short-set for your son and some sneakers, lay you down and sleep with you for a while but, then he's gone again.

The funniest thing about these "cicada-like" creatures is that they make ALOT of noise. These "baby fathers" come around and all of a sudden, the children are supposed to straighten up and fly right. How can you expect a boy or girl to listen to their mother, do their chores, behave in school and be the child they should be if you weren't around to instill these principles into the children? How can you expect much from a kid, if you haven't planted your seeds of knowledge? These "baby fathers" like to come right in from their extended absences and begin to "whip" and "beat" on the kids. When you haven't laid down the example for your children all you can do is hope that they turn out right. You can never expect a positive outcome. That child knows as much as you do that sooner or later, you will leave. You came around for Easter Sunday and you may be here for Memorial Day. You might even make it until the 4th of July but, when the holidays run out and you've gotten enough of that "baby mother" and what's between her legs, you WILL roll.

So for all of you who will be out and about this summer, have your pesticide sprays and "off" sprays out. The "cicadas" are out and about.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Sal's Corner
"One Letter"



Spelling is a critical component to getting your point across from a written standpoint. There are so many words that can be spelled incorrectly so easily. I have a hard time posting columns because I have to proofread so much. One thing that I've noticed is that one letter can change everything. One letter turns one word turns into another. The effects of that one letter can be monsterous


*Suite VS. Suit: A suite is an upscale office or a hotel room. A suit can be an article of clothing or a legal case. A man in a suit can go to a suite with a woman and catch a SUIT. Just ask Kobe Bryant. That letter "I" made a BIG difference in the two words

*Effect VS. Affect: I've never gotten this one down pat. I STILL dont know when to use either. I just use em both and yall get the drift anyway.

*Skootch VS. Skoontch: Both are used to suggest or ask that someone move down or out of your way. When an old lady says "Skootch over a lil bit", she probably is at a graduation or a church service. Skootch is said quietly out of the reverance for the event. She may be even at a Black College Football game, who knows. But, the word Skoontch!!!! "Skoontch on........Skoontch on out the way". That is a very good sign that it's some Barbeque ribs somewhere in the vicinity. Something hot, spicy or very good is being served and you are just not moving fast enough for ole Sister Robinson. But, that letter "N" adds alot of funk to the lingo.

*Trip VS. Trap: We've all been through this. What seems to be a good outing turns bad. We all have that friend that is cool.........but, sometimes (most of the time) can be a hassle. They are very cool but, they always put you in a compromising situation. They ask for a ride to one place and after that it's "Run me here" or "Just 5 more minutes, stop me pass the other store" or "What you bout to do?...if you got some time could you........". A trip turns into a trap!

*Desert VS. Dessert: Could you imagine someone saying "My cousin got his leg blown off in Dessert Storm"? I'd probably thing he banged his leg on the bottom of the counter at Ben & Jerry's on "Free Ice Cream Day". How about your kid asking you........"Can I have ice cream for Desert?" I'd wonder if the kid wanted some Neopolitan packed in his lunch pale for his school trip to the Sahara???

*Holiday Vs. Holyday: Now Holy Day is not one word but, let's just assume it is for now. Holidays are days that we get off from work and that we get and/or give gifts on. They come and go and if you don't give somebody their gift ON that day, they will have a FIT. But a Holyday should be a day where we acknowledge what the day is actually about. The difference in the spelling of the two words are substituting an "I" for a "Y". And literally that's what we SHOULD do with these days. Take the "I" out and ask "WHY". Christmas is not about Santa Claus, Valentine's Day is not about giving balloons and Mother's Day is not about loving a mother on ONE day of the year. These Holiday/Holyday's are not about YOU, so take the "I" out

*Honies VS. Homies: First off, it's 2004 so if a dude is running around still calling females "honies" he is caught up in some 1994 cookout memories. But the "honies" are the ladies. The gals, the gang, or the womenssss. "Homies" are the fellas, the crew, the dogs. Fellas, if you email or instant message your wife/girlfriend, she would be HEATED if you type "Im chillin wit da Honies tonight". That "M" changed to an "N" could be deadly!

*Own VS. Owe: Many people buy cars or possessions and tell you that they "OWN" them. NO most likely they "OWE" on them. Please believe it. Many people lease cars and you never know it. Ever wonder why they can NEVER drive outta town? They gotta car sitting in the driveway but they caught the bus to Detroit for Thanksgiving. Wonder why they tried to squeeze in your car to ride down to Kings Dominion or Six Flags? They dont "OWN" it.


*Trickin VS. Trackin: These two words are representatives for the different levels in monetary male/female relationships. Relationships built on money aren't good for the soul. Feelings get involved and if the money begins not to be involved, the party expecting the money will be upset. Ladies/Fellas be careful of how you "trick" on someone. You may catch feeling and begin to try to "track" that person. This could get outta hand.


Bonus.... *Expect VS. Except. This is an instance where the same letters are used for both words. The only change is the swapping of places for the letters "C" and "P". Usually we start out friendships, relationships, job etc. etc. EXPECTING alot. Then later on, we get everything EXCEPT what we want. Ladies, all you ask is to be taken out. The guy doesn't do that but, he'll call you all day! The dude will call you at 7:00, knowing that your free minutes aint until 9:00. Fellas, all you ask is that she be quiet. So then, she thinks she can get over by talking about something you want to talk about. But, then she gets it wrong. "YOU GOTTA BE CRAZY....OH so they're not gonna call OFFSIDES on Shaq!" Or how about at work. All you ask for is a raise or a bonus. But they turn around and just give you $700 worth of credit at Staples. "I SURE could use some binder clips right about now". It's funny we get everything EXCEPT what we EXPECT.


Remember, make sure you spell your words right and use them right. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"




"American Idol"
By Salvador Gabor



It's crazy how people get wound up in television. Yes I watch alot of TV. ALOT of TV! But, when I turn off the TV, I "try" to leave what's on the TV behind when the power is shut off. But, some people are SO into every show. "Girl did you see the Bachelor last night, I thought sure Jessica was going home!". People watch soap operas, court shows and reality shows like their OWN lives are on the line. Like, they are the ones facing elimination! They make these "characters" out to be "for real". This is corny to say but,.......... it's only a TV show!

One show in particular that really bothers me is "American Idol". The title itself bothers me the most. I look at the word "Idol" and I think of some megastar and nowadays WHO KNOWS what "American" really means. But, the idea is to expose "America's" most talented Amateurs and these contestants compete for a recording contract. In many cases, who we as people "feel" should win don't always win. On top of that, if the people we want to win actually do win, some way or another, the person that "they" wanted to win finds a way to get a spot in the limelight any way.

You see, "American Idol" is not about voting for the best singer/performer. Often times, it's about bringing back that old-fashion pop star. For a lack of better wording............the old "Caucasian Superstar Singer". African-Americans dominate virtually every genre of music known to man. The most popular genres in the country are Rap, R&B, Soul, Gospel, Rock & Roll and Country. Now, there are some other popular ones but, these stand out. Even the ones that are not dominated by African Americans have picked up on some African American culture and implemented that style within it's music. Country, Rock & Roll and other genres have "spiced" up their music a bit and has some African American "undertones".

The set-up of the show is strange. Now correct me if I'm wrong ,because I haven't watched the show more than twice. But, I believe that there are three celebrity judges that pick the contestants that advance to the "main event" yet, the public gets to vote for the final winners. It just seems like all of a sudden, the talented judges who know about the industry give the vote to the fans across the world who don't know as much about true talent???? It doesn't make much sense. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe those aren't the rules for the show. Will I ask someone how it really goes............NO! I don't care. I could care less who gets the recording contract. But, I do know that some of the most talented amateur artists are being eliminated.

"American Idol" is the idea of bringing back the "Doo-Wop" days. Back when kids drove Chevy's and drunk milkshakes. The guys wore varsity jackets and the girls wore long skirts and white shoes. There were drive-in movies and everything was so "innocent". Or at least that's what "innocence" is made out to be. Quite frankly, "America" is tired of hearing singers talk about "Bentley's", "Cheating Boyfriends" and "Baby Momma Drama" and other similar topics that seems to flood the airwaves. And there are African-American artists who go outside of those topics for songs. But, in this country, many times what ONE person does is looked at as what we ALL do. "America" wants a singer that "appears" to be "a good ole wholesome person". The "American Idol" will be someone that "America" can look to. Really, there's nothing wrong with that. Just understand that if you are looking for Keisha, Shaneequa, or Kamal to win "American Idol"........that won't happen in "America".

Friday, May 14, 2004

"Knockout King"
By Salvador Gabor



Me and my homie were talking about real dudes that we knew in the streets. I respect ALOT of dudes for how they keep it real. If a problem comes along, they handle it. Whether it be through talking or fighting. I don't condone fighting but, these dudes had skills when it came to the hands. One dude in particular stood out to us. "Big Hugh" is his name. "Big Hugh" has been a rough nigga for years. He was running the streets when my daddy and em was young. Shoot......I've heard that he was out here knocking niggas out WAY before that!

"Big Hugh" is tough. I mean the toughest of the tough. Most niggas can't fade "Big Hugh". "Big Hugh" done made plenty of dudes run in the house. I've seen "Big Hugh" make niggas cry. I mean, ole "Hugh" is a gangsta! The reason why I'm talking about "Big Hugh" is because yall need to be scared of him. Be aware of "Big Hugh" and if you see him coming, you better run. Don't worry, I'm gonna let you know how to recognize "Big Hugh" when you see em. "Big Hugh" is very aggressive. Sometimes before you can walk out of your door, he's right in your face. Sometimes you can be at work and getting ready to leave and "Hugh" is at the door. He's pointing his finger and saying "Come on out lil nigga!". You can't stay at work! Your kids have homework to get checked. Your husband needs his dinner. Your wife needs her car to be taken to the shop. You can't tell your family that "Big Hugh" had you scared to leave work, now can you? "Big Hugh" is not an inside type of dude. He hates Air Conditioning. He usually stands outside between 11 A.M. and 8 or 9 P.M.. He aint a late night type of dude but, in July he hangs out a lil bit. He walks the streets and waits for people to come outside and he'll try to fight em. See, whenever you step outside, you are in a fight with "Big Hugh". This is whether you like it, know it, love it or not. Don't think "Hugh" is no sucka! You play with "Big Hugh" if you want. He'll knock you out. Sometimes what seems to be a slight tussle can turn into a "take your shirt off" kinda fight.

"Big Hugh" is a petty nigga. I done seen "Big Hugh" knock people's grandmothers out. One day I had to say something to that nigga. I took a deep breath and I just went on and told em about himself. I said "Looka here Hugh, you aint had to hit Mrs. Wilkins like that!". You know what the nigga "Hugh" told me........he said "Tell Ole Wilkins to sit in that window like she's supposed to!". I had to agree with em though. See, "Big Hugh" runs the streets in the summer. Then, he goes to Miami and Cancun and places like that for the winter and his homie "Hawk" comes out during the winter. Since he only has about 3 or 4 months to run the streets, Mrs. Wilkins should have known better than to come outside. Man "Hugh" knocks lil kids out and everything. "Big Hugh" done killed people. He catches alot of bodies in the summer. He's a cold killa! You gotta respect "Big Hugh".

Now I know what you are thinking. I do. I really really do. You're saying to yourself........."Have I seen Hugh?". YES you have. You're also probably thinking........."Have I fought Big Hugh?". Yes you have. And you're probably thinking........."How does he look then?". Well, I can't tell you all of that. I can tell you his real name though. His mother named him "Humidity" but, I just call him "Big Hugh". I got to know him real well when I was young. That's why me and him are on a "Nickname" basis. We met when I was about 7 back when I used to play freeze tag in the street all day long. He knocked me out that summer. A couple of times for that matter. But, once I got in the house and got some air conditioning, we always squashed our lil beefs. It was my fault, my mother used to tell me to stay in the house any ole way! I kept messing wit ole "Hugh" anyhow. Then after a while, I tried to duck him. I did that for a few summers but, we met up again when I had that summer job working outside. We talked alot that summer. Well "Humidity" is his first name but, I never found out his last name. I thought it was Jenkins. He used to always go to their family reunions. Then he showed up at the Robinson Family Reunion. He peeked in at the Brown Family Reunion. I caught him knockin' a nigga out at the Wilson Family Reunion. He even came to a few of mines. He wasn't invited to any of em so, I don't know whose boy he is???? Whoever his mamma is, she need to whip em cause he been knockin too many people out.

All I can say is stay clear of ole "Humidity". During his time out here in the summer, don't eat too much beef and pork. That makes you slowful and he'll uppercut you real quick if you eating that stuff too much. He'll give you a right hook if you're sitting outside off of a few cups of Remy. You may just have to decline on that last "run-it back" game of 5 on 5 sometimes. That last game might make "Hugh" come out there and close your eye wide-shut! Just don't play with "Hugh". He'll have you somewhere in the back room with "Big Mamma" with a wet rag on your head and sitting there watching "Judge Joe Brown" with her.


Thursday, May 13, 2004

"Pack Your Vest"
By Salvador Gabor



Just wanted to let yall know........."Ricky Reynolds: The Playa's Boutique" has a 75%-off sale on Suit Vests. I know that all the "Macks", "Pimps", "Boss Playas" and "Dons" are gonna wanna look tight to death when they hit the scene this summer. It may be a lil too hot for the suit jacket, so why not just go on and flex the vest!!!!! Yall need to hop on this here game and get it while it lasts. A wise man by the name of "Ken" once told me........."DONT DOWN EM........CROWN EM!"


"A League of it's Own"
By Salvador Gabor


Could you imagine being at your place of work. While working, you may get frustrated. You may question the decision of an authority. Your defense may be just. But, yet you get told to leave the office for the rest of the day. Then, when people ask you what happened and you make a comment about your boss or authoritative figure, you get docked pay just for expressing your opinion. This is the life of many professional athletes in our world today.

With the 2004 Olympics just months away, the NBA officials and U.S. Olympic Committee are "scrambling" to get 12 strong U.S. players to compete in the Basketball Competition. With the foreign invasion that has occured in the last 3-5 years in the NBA, many of our best stars aren't from this country and have made the decision to represent their respective countries in the 2004 Games. So, with that being said, you can eliminate many players from the pool of "top-notch" talent that the NBA has to offer.

But, the U.S. born players that we automatically look to, find themselves in a bind on whether or not to participate in the 2004 Games. Preparation for and actual competition in the Games would occupy the majority of the players' off-season. Because of this, some of our U.S. superstars have declined to play. Others can not play because of legal issues, ceremonies such as weddings, and the opportunity to spend time with family. There are even some who are expecting "new" family members in the form of child birth. Then, there are those who have been to the Games a few times already and don't have the same "flame". Also, there were bombings in Greece recently (The Site of the 2004 Olympic Games) and some players fear for security. There are so many variables that play a major part in players deciding not to participate this summer.

The last time that the U.S. competed on an international level, we got demolished compared to the standards that we are used to. In the 2002 FIBA World Championship, we came in SIXTH PLACE! Yugoslavia, Argentina, Germany, New Zealand, and Spain all placed higher than we did. We went from "smashing" teams by 60 in past years, to losing by 5-10 points in each of the final rounds of the 2002 championships. Now, with all of this in mind, we want to bring a "top-notch" team to rebound from the embarrassment.

Well if the NBA treated players like humans and not slaves, many "top-notch" players would participate without any doubt. The same players that the media and NBA blast for making comments about coaches, front offices, and talking back to referees that don't always make proper calls are the same players we now NEED to show off the United States' talent. We pay these guys alot of money but, they can't say a word about how they feel. Now, it's a coincidence that many of these players have other obligations and won't be able to be apart of the Games. In my opinion, many of these players would put those obligations to the side momentarily to do this for their country. But, the way the NBA is set-up now, if you are not "hot" the league will forget about you. So why remember the league, when the league needs you?

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

"In The News"
By Salvador Gabor




* Two middle aged men were arrested for stealing 3 pairs of "Corniche" Jeans from a Dillard's Department Store in Asheville, NC. The two men, Rodney Wilkins and Bruce "Two-Time" Wiggins were nabbed at a local Kroger Grocery Store with the jeans on. Asheville County Police Officers escorted the men to the Asheville County Jail but, they were released. Sources say that the Police Department felt that if these two men had the nerve to still be wearing "Corniche's" then, they should be left alone.

* Oglewood Elementary in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania has decided to have a Prom for it's Kindergarten graduates. This will be the first Prom held for a Kindergarten class in the history of American Elementary Schools. Thomas Wooden, Principal of the school noted that his decision for holding a Prom for the kids came from his observation of an increase of kids "humping" in the closet. He feels that if this is going on, they need some sort of outlet to release this tension. Maybe some off-beat dance moves such as the "butterfly" and the "tootsie roll" that little kids do will change the situation for the better.





"The Click"
By Salvador Gabor



Society leads us to believe that if we are not in the correct groups, we will not succeed. In many ways, this is true but, it is not the only way to become a better person. Many of us rely on "clickin" up with people to get by in this world. With the internet and other technological advancements, we are only a "click" away from anything that we want. Now I know that the word "click" is spelled "clique" when referring to groups but, let's just keep it simple for now. With a "click" of a button or a "click" of a crew, we believe that anything can happen.

This idea starts in grade school. Teachers angle their lesson plans around putting the class in groups to convey their points. For the first half of the class, the teacher will lay out the lesson. After that is finished, the class in broken down into groups for the activity that follows the lesson. At an early age, children begin to separate the winners from the losers. "oooooh I wanna be in the group wit Mike and Bobby". "Man....Kim is in OUR group!". "NO WE GOT KIM!". In most activity-oriented lessons, each student has a chance to answer questions to get points for their team. One reoccuring pattern is that kids who are deemed "smart" all want to get on the same team. Now as a member of the "smart" team, you may not have to answer ONE question. Your skills and knowledge will NOT be used nor is it needed on this superpower "smart" team. But, we wanna be with the winners. Nothing is wrong with that. It's necessary to get with the winners in life but, not at the expense of making your skills become dull.

This idea of "clickin" up continues onto Jr. High and High School levels. Between the ages of 12 and 18, kids feel a serious need to be wanted and accepted. All of the "fly" girls hang together. They hate each other most of the time but, they hang together just so that they can keep each other close and feed off that fashion energy, for whatever that is worth????? The "smart" people hang together. No one understands why they wear moccassins and pocket-protectors but, they have a different mission than the average student. Then, the "ruff" dudes all at least respect each other if they don't hang together. You might see two or three different "gangs", "hoods" or "crews" in the halls together smoking or running the halls just to prove to one another that they are "hard". Then you have the loners. No one knows them at first and when all of the other "clicks" are at a compacity, these loners come together. These are your future "columbine killers" and "American Taliban's" of this society. Anyway, no matter the circumstances, everyone finds somewhere to fit in.

You'd think that it stops at the High School level. Right? Naaaah. It goes on. For those who go to college or have been, you see that the "click" life gets worse. There are several "clicks" in college. You have the Frats and Sorors, Big Cities (D.C., N.Y., L.A., Philly, Atlanta) "clicks", Football and Basketball teams, "Fly Girls", "Earthy Girls", "Playas", and the "i'm just hear to get an education and I go home on the weekends click". There are SO many "clicks" in college. I could go on and on but, the picture has been drawn. In college, there are events on campus and off-campus where all of these "clicks" are in the same setting and many "clicks" use this time to show-off. The Big Cities "clicks" put on their fresh white tees and new shoes. Frats yell and dance all through the auditorium. The "Fly Girls" put on all of their designer wear just to go to the cafeteria. It can get really crazy.

THEN..........you come home from college. Once you come home or to whatever place you may be in at the time, you try to fit in on the social scene in that city. It just seems like you don't get all the daps and hugs at the local sporting events, lounges and restaurants like you used to in High School and College. No, everyone doesn't know your name. Nope, no one knows how you had 2 Prada bags in High School. No sir, they don't know that you dated the baddest female on campus. It takes alot more than association with a "click" to make it in this big city that you're in. You begin to look forward to the cookouts in the summer where you see all of the old High School crew. You find yourself traveling back to your old school every chance you get, just to rekindle that feeling you once had. The idea of being the big fish in the little sea. In a big city, the "clicks" are executives and directors who have floor seats at the basketball games. In a big city, the "clicks" are the people who make power moves and control the economy of the city. It becomes a whole different ball game for many of us. But, way back in kindergarten, we were taught to be apart of a group. That idea stayed with us and now we can't just rely on looks or who's cool to be apart of the "click". Somewhere along the way, we lost our talent and it became dull because, we wanted JUST to be in the "click". We've sacrificed sharpening ourselves as people JUST to be in the "click". It's just like a mouse on a computer. If you "click" it too many times, you might not end up on the page that you are supposed to be on.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

"Announcements"
By Salvador Gabor


* This is for all you old folk who claim that your back hurts but, you amazingly can dance at the cookouts. "Electric Slide" online classes are now available. You can register for classes at www.myneckmyback.com/slide/steppintotheoldies.htm . If that is too difficult for the old folks you can contact Eunice "Muncie" Richards for more info at (301) 455-3534.

Continuing with the "education" theme..........

* This summer, The Salvador Gabor Project will host it's first annual "Avid Crab Eaters" Conference. Topics such as "How to avoid getting sauce on your hangnails", "When to bite the shell", "Why white shirts aren't the best for crab-eating?" and "How to properly greet people when your hands and chest smell like fish". Stay posted and tuned into The Salvador Gabor Project for more details in the near future




"To Owe or Own: The Road That Leads to Over"
By Salvador Gabor


Relationships and friendships are valuable to a person's life. No one wants to be alone, no matter how much they deny it. It's cool to be alone for a while but at some point, we all need a person that we will interact with for the rest of our lives. Picking friends and a mate for life can be tricky. With friends, we sometimes can get caught up in just entertaining each other. Never going beyond a laugh or a good time. Never getting a chance to realize the other capabilities that a friend may have. In relationships, we never get beyond being "in love". That "in love" state doesn't last forever. And if you are depending on that to get you through, you may be mistaken.

I've always wondered why some people stay together as friends or lovers for years and years? Each day is filled with arguing, fighting, shouting and using negative language to "communicate" to each other. Is it worth it for them to be together? What is the true cause of the confusion? Many times it comes down to what you think you owe or what you think you own. A wife/husband is a partner or teammate in the "game" of life. If we've learned anything from sports in recent times, we've learned that it's never a good outcome when teammates criticize each other publicly. Also, the disagreements that are established in the locker room will and shall unveil themselves on the playing surface. A wife/husband should be a person that you desire to love. In any "game" or sport, what makes playing the "game" fun is when the people around you enjoy the "game" as much as you and that they play the "game" well with you. You also have to enjoy playing the "game" with them. When your purpose in a relationship/marriage is to love someone else and forget about what you get in return, then the "game" goes much smoother. But, many times we focus on "what have you done for me lately?".

To owe someone means that you have a debt with that person. That person has extended some service to you and you need to repay that person. If you borrowed $50 from someone, you are supposed to pay back $50. You never go beyond what you owe. Or I should say, you don't HAVE to go beyond what you owe. Even if interest is applied, all the interest does is to help equate the value of that $50 at this day and time. In relationships, if you feel that you owe someone something, you will only give until you feel your debt is paid. So therefore, husbands and wives live for years only giving because they feel that they owe their mate. If everything is equal, then both parties are hesitant to give. "Well HE needs to speak to me........I'm tired of having to speak to him first". "She don't even ask me if I'm hungry, I cook for her all the time". It's the small things in life that cause the biggest trouble in relationships. And it's all because we as people feel a need to keep a scorecard on what people do for us.

To own means that you have earned the right to make an outright decision on the possession that you have ownership of. You may not have always paid for what you own but, you are the caretaker of that possession and the last word goes through you. Just because you put a ring on someone's finger doesn't mean that you own them. Remember, you joined together in holy matrimony because you CHOSE to do so. You chose to love that someone. You chose to care for that someone. You chose to be there for that someone. And the day that those choices change, you are free to go. Oh yes, there are consequences for doing so. But, it's your decision. You can't make your mate do what you want them to do. You can only hope that love and the promise made in the committment leads them to respect your wishes.

In life, you owe on and own possessions. People are not possessions to be sold or to put a price tag on. We take for granted those who are the closest to us. We scream at our mates but, treat people in the street with the utmost respect. We are quick to acknowledge what we bring to the table but, never stop and thank God for the person who fills in the gap for our shortcomings. You can own or owe on a house or car. A house and a car can be destroyed and more than likely if you could, you would move on to a bigger house and a bigger car anyway. These material possessions are at the mercy of you and your desires. You use them to your fulfill your pleasures. Houses, cars and other possessions don't have feelings. THESE are the things that you own or owe on.


Monday, May 10, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Life: The Biggest Game on Earth"



People always say that life is a game. I hate to refer to it as such but, life really is a game. Not in the sense that it doesn't matter. But, in the sense that everyone wants to win in life. It takes teams to get through life. And of course, there are rules. Life is not like Baseball, Football, Basketball, or even duck duck goose. This is a different game. The rules of the game of life are almost a complete opposite of any other game or sport that we know. Let's take basketball for instance. Let's look at some things you CAN'T do in Basketball and how we HAVE to do these things in life to survive


* Double - In Basketball, when you dribble with both hands at the same time, it's called a "double" or a "double-dribble". But in life we MUST "double". You gotta "double" your wealth. You gotta "double" your power. You gotta "double" EVERYTHING. You never wanna be on the same level as your were last year. The older you get, it takes "double" to change your ways. As you get older it takes "double" the work to stay in shape. "Doubling" in a KEY part of the game of life.

* Traveling - In Basketball, taking more than 2 steps with the ball without dribbling is called "traveling". Well in life, you MUST "travel". Some of you niggas have never left Good Hope Road. GET OUT and explore! It will change your life! You get to see more. That "ball" is symbolic of a job or a restraint. We sometimes can not take more than two steps without dribbling that "ball". Just take 3 or 4 steps and "travel" sometimes.

* Goal-Tending - In Basketball, defending an attempted shot that is in the cylinder of the rim is called "Goal-Tending". Well in life, you have to Tend to your Goals. Tending to goals means defending your goal. Always know what it takes to get to where you wanna be. People try to put a "ball" in your goal. There's that "ball" again. Some restraint or some person telling you that you can't make it cause you have THIS or THAT to think about. If the ball looks close to going in, knock it out of your goal.

* Out of Bounds - In Basketball, when the ball touches the floor at a point where it is beyond the court or if you are touching the ball and one of your body parts is touching the part of the floor that is beyond the court, it is considered "Out of Bounds". But, in life, you must go beyond the boundaries. You never can stay in one place or one area.

* Foul Shots - In Basketball, free attempts at shooting the ball in the basket are awarded to a player who was fouled. Being fouled means that an opposing player was overly aggressive and physical which hampered the steady, fair and competitive game that was being played. Now keep in mind, I said OPPOSING player. Many people on your team may seem to foul you but they are helping you. A foul in life maybe constructive criticism or just hatred. It's a thin line. A thin, grey line. But, in this game of life, you don't get foul shots. You take comments, criticism, and hatred and keep going. No one is rewarded for being hurt. You just take that and keep going.

* Carrying - In Basketball, dribbling the ball and letting the ball go over your shoulder and bringing it back to the floor or having your hand holding the ball from the bottom of the ball is called "carrying". In life, you will have to "carry" something or someone. We all aren't natural leaders but, we all shall lead at least once in our lives. We work in teams and people on your team sometimes may be dead weight or people that can be put to good use but, they aren't motivated yet.

* Staying in the coaches box - In Basketball, a coach has a space that they have to stay in. Players on the bench can not come on the court unless they are substituting another player. Coaches can not come on the court at all. Now we talked about coaches a little while ago. But sometimes a coach HAS to come on the court and grab up a player! If you see something going wrong and you're viewing it from the sideline, sometimes you have to step ON the court and straighten it out.

* Self Pass - In Basketball, you can not pass the ball to yourself. Life is different. You have two hands. Sometimes, you have to free one hand and pass the ball to the other. Free yourself up for a day and do some other things to relax your mind. Sometimes you gotta throw the "ball" in the air. Not to someone else because it's your "ball" to use. But, just throw it in the air for a brief second to get a breather.

* 3 Seconds in the box - In Basketball, there is an area right under the goal called "The 3-Second Box". You can not stand in that box for more than 3-seconds. Well in life, you gotta stand in your place sometimes. Stand right near your goal until what's coming to you has arrived. Just keep on waiting!


You know why the rules in a game like basketball are so different than in the game of life? In life, there's no little old man in a striped shirt blowing a whistle. You are out here on your own. There is no referee. Although there are rules, you can do what you want to do. What you do wrong will catch up to you but, it may creep up. It wont be a whistle that will stop you. Control your destiny and try to travel, double, carry, and break every other basketball rule in life to get to where you oughta be.


Friday, May 07, 2004

"Training Camp"
by Salvador Gabor


It's early in the month of May. The "season" is about to start. What "season" it is you might ask? It's the "kid's season". Now that school is almost done, kids won't be as supervised as in the winter. Parents are at work and kids are left alone. We all need some "training camp" before the "season" starts.

There is a scripture in the Bible that says "Train up a child in the way that they should go, and when they get old they will not depart from it". It's funny that the word "train" is used and not the word "coach". It would be a totally different sentence if it were "Coach up a child in the when they should go, and when they get old they will not depart from it". Many parents think that they are "training" their kids and they're only "coaching" their kids.

As I walk outside throughout my daily life I see many kids falling astray. Children having children, children at young ages already addicted to substances, and children who have no direction in life. Most parents throw their kids to the wolves with no real experience. Parents let kids get away with murder as long as the child doesn't disturb their lives. Kids can curse, smoke, and have sex in the houses of their parents freely and with no remorse. Parents sometimes participate IN the activities WITH the kids. I'm almost 25 years old and I would STILL be scared to even let my mother smell smoke on me. It's just a common respect that you have for authority and your parents in particular that is missing today.

Well what about the two words "coach" and "train"? Let's talk about "coaching". "Coaching" is giving instructions WHILE the "game" is being played. This "game" of life that we play doesn't start until we are on our own as adults or as kids when we are out in public WITHOUT our parent. The "pre-season" and the "training" camp is when we are young AND in the presence of our parents. "Coaching" is when we get an "F" on our report card and we come home with the grades and mom screams at us. "Coaching" is when we get caught stealing and dad has to pick us up from the precinct at 2:00 A.M. and he's heated! "Coaching" is when your 12-year old son says he's gotten a girl pregnant and now both sets of parents are irate. The "coaching" is much harder when you haven't "trained" your "players". The "players" are the kids. As a parent, YOU are the "coach". A child's school performance is "game time". A child that makes a decision to shoplift is doing so when it's "game time". Kids makes choices to have sex when it's "game time". Whenever children make decisions on their own, it's "game time" and that's not the place that parents want to begin "coaching". There is a process beforehand that has to take place.

"Training" comes before "coaching". "Coaching" is yelling at the players and signaling what plays or what decisions to make from the sideline during the "game". "Training" is the actual physical combat that prepares the player for the "game time". Whether it be lifting weights, running, practicing or physical therapy, "training" is the overall preparation tool for the "game" of life. I look at kids today and they don't know how to act in public. They yell out profanity on public transportation. Some don't have proper etiqutte. There are even those who don't practice good hygiene habits. You can't just yell at your kid about stinking..........."Boy get some deodorant under yo' arms, you stankin!". You have to "train" them. They can't just wake up in the summer and go! "Train" them to get up earlier to have time to lotion themselves, put on deodorant, brush their hair, brush their teeth and possibly add cologne/perfume depending on where they are headed. This is just one of many examples of "training". "Training" is also running through the "plays" that may be used in a "game". As "coaches", parents have to go through the "playbook". If you have a daughter, in order to prevent her from dating some hoodlum, inquire as to what she wants in a man. Many parents don't do that. This dialogue will give you a chance to express what you want to see from her companion. This is the same for your sons. Many of us as kids made the wrong choices because our parents made vague comments. "I want you to go to school and be good". That leaves alot of space for curiousity and trouble. Parents have to get into the heads of their kids and be one step ahead of the mistakes they may make. You can't prevent EVERYTHING but, some issues can be prevented with a simple conversation that involves going over simple steps to proper decision-making. "Training" may mean taking your child with you at an early age so that they can see YOU and how YOU act in "game time" situations. Seeing you go to the bank and taking care of financial issues or going with you out to eat at a fancy restaurant may lead to a child understanding what it is to conduct themselves in a proper fashion. The "coaching" that our parents do is often too late. Why yell after the fact? "Training" comes in handy!

Their isn't much "coaching" to do when you have a good team on the floor. A team that has "trained" well will win the big "games". If you don't practice, "game time" situations will be when the practice takes place. In this life that we live, we don't have much time to practice when the pressure is thick. Many of our "coaches" are quick to yell at the "players" DURING the "game". Remember "Practice makes perfect" and "The game is often won BEFORE the game even starts".

Thursday, May 06, 2004

"Liquor Store Etiquette" 5.6.04
by Reggie Dinkins Jr.




"Niggas and society's strategy forge the chains along with the coordination of the matching jumpsuits"

Much of society's dysfunction is a result of the plan of so-called leaders, and these cultural weeders. Many people fail to realize that no matter what flavor Kool-Aid a nigga drinks, it's best when made with hot water.

Enjoy your inner peace. Without it, the letdowns will drop you off somewhere in Down & Out Terrace.

Why try to get even with your enemies, why have enemies, if it is deeper than Cowboys vs. Redskins, quite frankly someobody might get killed. Live your life and never burn your Hot Wheels.

Many people in today's society are ungrateful, and it is with gratitude that I except these ingrates.

Trouble don't last always, well it shouldn't, a dog can't jump but so many fences.

Imitation can only get you so far, you serve me an imitation steak, and you gonna get a legitimate side of cuss-cuss.

You can't please everybody all the time, so don't break your back trying to. Shoot..........everyone don't laugh at monkeys all the time. Happiness often disguises himself as Gay, so watch your proverbial buttock.

"55 niggas on a pirate ship, nigga don't act like you aint been to Kings Dominion."

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

"Get a Grip"
by Salvador Gabor



"You really need to get a grip". Has someone ever told you that? I think in some fashion, we have all had that said to us at one time or another. "Getting a grip" means to regain control of yourself or to relax a little bit. So many people live their lives up tight.........or at least we THINK they live their lives up tight. See, when you "get a grip" on life, you are living up tight. it's the people that complain and whine that are living too loose.

Whenever you are in a rocky and rough situation you have to hold on. That requires one to "get a grip". If you are on a roller coaster, you gotta "get a grip". If someone is driving too fast, you gotta "get a grip". You would never loosen up if the road gets bumpy. That's destine to make your hit you head against the window. If you were to loosen up, you would lose control.

Most of these people who you think are up tight are actually too loose. Every bump in the rough road that they travel along has them bouncing around. Just "get a grip". Not having a "grip" means that you have nothing to hold onto when times get rough. In today's society, many of us have no foundation. All we know are the books that we study or the jobs that we work on. People don't have personalities. It takes some people hours to get simple jokes. Some people are too serious. Just too LOOSE. Tighten up your "grip" and come back to this world.



I wanna take it back to an old Sal's Corner. This is an old one from Rome's site that I did back in December just in case yall missed it, here it is.......

12/8/2003
Sal's Corner
"Names"


Names. We all have them. A name is a sound that comes out of our mouths that identifies a particular person. A name is much more than a sound though. Sometimes it predetermines out destiny. If you name your son a name that is feminine, he might turn out to be gay . A ghetto name MIGHT just turn out a ghetto adult. Names can be a blessing, curse or a flat out mistake. One thing about names is that people who bare the same names usually act the same. Let's take a look, if you agree ok, if not hey its ok too (I Know more than ONE of each of these people so dont think I'm singling you out if this is your name and you know me):

1) James. James is that guy who's mother yells his name out loud from the second floor of the house. He's usually the first to get grey hair, the first to get a beer belly and the last to move out of mamma's house. Sometimes, James' seem to be married to their mother. Aint too many James jr's and James sr's coexisting. Thats too much James Power!

2) David. David is the laid back guy who really aint into people that he dont know. You can always count on a David to be exactly where you thought they were gonna be and thats the same place they were 10 years ago, out on the porch, hands on the rail waiting for that nice young tender to come home from work that lives next door. Women love David's.

3) Chris. Chris is wild. No matter how you cut the mustard. He's a wild guy. He's gotta lil bit of the pure devil in him. You hang with a Chris long enough and you'll be at the precinct. Either picking Chris up or in there WITH Chris.

4) Leon. Leon is a guy you HAVE to deal with. He always has the hook-up on something. Its times when you cant beat having a Leon on your team. Tip: Always take a deep breath before dealing with a Leon.

5) Mark. Mark is a hustler. Street kinda guy. Cool but can be gully too. Mark's rely on their suave nature to get outta situations.

6) Marcus. Marcus is an offspring of Mark. He has hustler characteristics but he is a little more wild. Every Marcus has a nickname. I know like 5 or 6 and they all have Aliases

7) Charles. He's the dude that you grew up with, he gets shot and possibly dies at an early age. If you met him after the age of 12, you dont know that his name is Charles. You'll get to the funeral and the obituary will shock you. "THIS Nigga name was CHARLES....I always wondered what C-Rock stood for????"

8) Paul. A man's man. Laid back, avid sports watcher, sticks to his business. He's similar to Charles, in a sense that you might not know his real name. Paul's tend to deal with larger shaped women. Paul's have great relationships with their women for that reason. They love the inside of a woman in more than one way (if you get my drift)

9) Mike. The consumate cool guy. You think everyone loves Raymond........you havent met Mike. Michael, Mikey, Mike........its all the same. He's the class clown, class freak, class ladies man the all-american. In the 80's there were guys calling themselves Mike whose name wasnt even michael. There name might have been Jeremiah......"Hey man call me MIKE!"

10) Tony. Anthony, Antonio, Antoine.......real similar to Mike. Everyone wants to be a Tony. Your name is Ezekial, you can be a Tony. Your name is Eugene, "hey call me Tony". Another of the top 5 names of the 80's. Tony and Mike are usually good friends. Either that or they really respect each other. Tony sells drugs with Mark or they beef over territory. Tony gets shot and his life is lost before its prime. He doesnt live big very long but in the eyes of everyone, he's always Tony.

Bonus : Ray. I gave you 10 but this one is for free. Keep your eyes on all Ray's. Key word: Supervision. A Ray is just what the name means.........a streak of light. Ray shines bright and will hit you in the blink of an eye. Ray's are all over the place. Ray's are fun-loving, yet that fun can cost you sometimes.

Thats all my time for this week. Yall keep it light out there mayne! "This is my corner and Im glad to share it with yall". Until Next Week Playa..........."Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"








Tuesday, May 04, 2004

"Indestructable Niggas #2"
by Reggie Dinkins Jr.


In last time's volume, we met a laid back nigga named "Cras", and we delved into his indestructable nature. Oh but today......we take a look at a much more dominant and more physical nigga in nature......... "Inevitable".

Nobody really knows where this nigga came from, it was kind of inevitable that he showed up. Ole Mr. Forseeable, told us a predictable and unavoidable nigga would show up one day, and it was "Inevitable" that we would see.

A serious type nigga, never really wanting to say "I told you so", but it was "Inevitable" that said kicking rocks might break your toe. Always one to show kids and adults alike, a hungry wino might take your unchained bike. He is not necessarily the bearer of bad news, but he is related to "Reality", "Inevitable" is the one who told these young girls don't talk to Duracel employees, because you will wind up with spousal batteries.

He is the type of nigga who has accomplished many things from saving broken homes, to the celebration of Hooters 25-cent wings. Lets take a look at some of his works over the years. 25-cent wings and plenty of beer, it was "Inevitable" that said Hooters should have a great fiscal year. When momma said be home by the flicker of the streetlight, and you let Tyrone take a ride on your bike, now you're home bikeless and it is well after nine, it was "Inevitable" who said you gonna have welps on your behind. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, it was "Inevitable" who said the circle will remain unbroken, and these silly girls will chase distributors of crack unsmoken. Crack dealers selling crack to crackheads, related to hussies making crack dealers feel like crackheads.

One thing that should be understood about "Inevitable" is that he is man who shows up anywhere. He might show up in Vickie's Secret when you're buying them underwear........ "you know they too small so put them down, unless you wanna bake a muffin in your dark compound." A businessman he is, with many stocks and bonds, he doesn't pressure his broker about mutual funds....... "if the feeling's mutual you will sell when I tell you, but don't offer me no last second sneaky info and find your self locked up with a disease like a caged dog with fleas. I think it's called M-S (Martha Stewart)." "Inevitable" is one of the few niggas who can bust up in Congress, walk to the front and get right on the mic and speak of education and the gas price hike........... "Iraq is gonna teach you, he got a trick for you, dont worry about that oil but, about these rough-housers in school. You more worried about the children of oil in Istanbul, than these children of oil playing in pissy pools, freebasing on basement barstools, and learning math by using animals. Animal math will lead to blood baths" That wasn't a misquote that was "Inevitable".

"Inevitable" and his Circle 7 Theory, "Crack is circular, everybody chasing it, from the smokers to snorters, and those looking for sexual displacement, turning geniuses to fiends, pretty girls to sirens, and so-called bidnessmen to registered non-voters. The circle that surrounds crack may be big and soft, but all in all, no matter how big the circle, how nice the area, don't nothing good come out of crack but crap."



"Music News"
By Salvador Gabor



"Tite 2 Def" (From Left to Right.......Orlando-Miguel Jackson, Ricky Baker and Stanley Collins)

Dont forget to check out the new album "1989 Forever" from the group "Tite 2 Def".This group is attempting make a strong comeback. Rumors of frontman Stanley Collins' true sexuality haunted the group since it's last release, "Soft, Wet & Tite" in 1991. Collins denies the rumors of an "alterior" lifestyle. Orlando-Miguel was just released from jail on tax evasion and needs the money badly. Ricky Baker is just plain upset because he JUST missed out on the "Trucker Hat" Fad.

"1989 Forever" The Album is on sale at all "Wings & Things" and other Chinese Carryouts in the area. This album was rated a 1 out of 10 Stars but it does have the hit "Wait a Minute Now".



Monday, May 03, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Black Hair" Vol. 2

Right back where we started from. If you havent read Vol. 1, you need to catch up. For those who havent, we just talked about how "Black Hair" has evolved and where we came from as a people when it comes to Hair Fashion. Needless to say, Madame CJ Walker would be proud!


* "The Shag" - See what people DON'T know is that this "do" is still sported. You may have to go down south to find one but don't be surprised........they always said "Be careful of how you look for something, cause you might just find what you were looking for!" A Shag is that mini-bumper on your neck. Men don't cut the hair from the neck area of their head and let it grow until a mini-bush has appeared on the back of their head. It takes the shape and form of a bumper or a space bar from a computer. "Shags" add a sleek look to any man wanting to be cool. Most people with "shags" wore their top button opened up and keep their hands in their pockets for a cool look. For some reason, a person with "shag" always has to look from left to right in real quick motion. I dont know, yall figure it out. The "Shag" is a bit different from the "rat tail". The "Rat Tail" was an up north thing, but that "Shag".............that was North Carolina and on down the road.

* "The Gumby" - As I write this article I think about how EASY barbers and beauticians have it now! Now, every guy gets an "even" and every woman gets something fairly manageable. The "Gumby" solidified your barber's expertise. I think this personified the difference between barbering and just "cutting niggas heads for $10". You had to be a master barber to cut a dude's head on a direct slant. That's still amazing to me!

* "Bangs" - Oh yes........."oooh SHE BANGS...SHE BANGS....oooh SHE BANGS". I think "Bangs" were very sexy when I was in the 5th grade. If you were ugly, had pimples or had a big forehead, "Bangs" did the job. A pony tail and "bangs" did it for me back in the day. I loved the girls with those.

* "Blonde Top and Dark Sides" - This is kinda when the whole hair coloring thing went crazy. I have a confession to make..........I LOVE women with the blonde/orange hair coloring. Even the light streaking in the hair is something that I love. So when this style came out, it added another flavor to it. This "do" is a short "do". It's a female version of the fade. Yet the top is curled and colored blonde or orange.....maybe red/burgundy if ya nasty. But, the sides are the natural color. The neck may have a thunderbolt cut into it. That's just to Jazz it on up a lil bit. This "do" can STILL be seen. You might find a nice 40-plus, good looking, Bus Driving woman wearing one of these. Bus Drivers, Parking attendants or maybe a lady who has a job counting money.

* "Perm" - Oh no, now I know ladies get perms. But im talking about the fellas who have perms. See you may laugh but, a nigga with a perm is the most serious nigga you are gonna run across. Like.........how can you joke with or at a nigga wit a perm? A dude wit a perm aint about no jokes. It's always business. If you see a man with a perm in 2004 and dare to laugh at him he might just back-handedly slap the living "you know what" out of you. He wont SAY a word. Just slap you and keep it primpin and pimpin. Oh but some ladies have this style too. They might go up to NY or Philly on a bus trip from Gastonia, NC. They might get off the bus in the shopping district and get out with their rollers off but dont comb the curls out.

* "Jheri Curl" - (I can hear the Monday Night Football Theme Music in my head) Now this is the one we've ALL been waiting for. Truly, no truly...........all jokes being put aside...........the "Jheri Cul" changed the game as we know it. The "Jheri Curl" (also known as "Jerlie Curl"), was the biggest fad in Black Hair EVER!! It had spin-offs too. The "S" Curl, the "J" Curl and many more took after it's father-figure. Nevertheless, "Jheri" will ALWAYS stand shoulders above the rest. I wanna take my time on this one so let's lay back. See, this one is a prime example of how our people have longed and chased after other cultures. Many of us lied in elementary school. "I got Indian in my family". No No No. Those are the after-effects or curl mania. Or should we say......."Post Pardum Curl Depression" Now...........for EVERY "DO" that we have discussed, someone will admit to have wore it at one time or another. But a "Jheri Curl" wearer will only be known IF you knew that Curl wearer AT the very time that they wore the curl. Girls kill me. They be all cute in the street NOW. I be wantin' to buss them out.........."Dont even act like that, I remember when you was Juicin up back in '87". A person will get embarrassed NOW if you tell the world that they had a curl. Seriously though, this "do" was the demise of a strong black nation. So many black people made themselves look like coons. And to think, people STILL WEAR these curls. People, if you have an aunt or grandmother or (God Forbid) a male figure in your life with a curl, take them by the arm and go get that curl cut off.


"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"



"Graduation Announcements"
by Salvador Gabor




Langston Glover

Lannie on this day, we celebrate your graduation. May your heart be filled with joy as you celebrate. We hope and pray that the Lord may bless you with the job that you longed for. All praises be unto him, our father. Be blessed baby!

From, the Covington's




Lynell "Man-Man" Simpkins

Baby boy, we know it took you 6 years to graduate from Mailmen school but we aint a drop less proud son. We love you so much. You will forever be in our hearts. May your routes be filled with joy as you pass out that mail. Today is truly a day for celebration. We love you "Man-Man", our favorite almost mailman in the world

Love, Big Mamma and Mr. Wiggins




People, if you have any kids or friends graduating from school this May and June, feel free to use this site for your kids' announcements.