Monday, April 12, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Time to Check My Crackhouse" Vol. 1

Reggie spoke about pipeheads in his article "High Standards" back on 4/5/04. I think we've ALL seen crackheads. You might know em as "Fiends", "Crackheads", "Dopeheads", "Cluckers", or just "Niggas thats on it". No matter how you know them...YOU KNOW THEM. Lets talk about em.......

* Memory: Crackheads have no memory. That's why they keep tryna get this $20 bag for $17. Crackheads will walk up on you, congratulate you on finishing school THEN ask you "when are you graduating?" the NEXT day.

* "Sweetie": "Sweetie" is a word of choice for female crackheads. It's never "boo" or "honey" or "child" (pronounced CHYLE).

* Purse: The purse of a female crackhead is held close. Lady crackheads who walk the street MUST have a purse to keep their crack addiction "on the low". You have to maintain secrecy on these streets.

* Sweaters: You wont see a crackhead in a T-Shirt unless its July. The months of June and August will see a sweater from a crackhead. If it gets a lil warm under the collar, sleeves may be rolled up. The sweater may even come off, but initially the sweater is worn

* Watches: Crackheads DONT wear watches. They tell time by the affects of their high. If a crackhead gets hight at 4:00 P.M., they KNOW their high should last 2 hours, so when they get to feenin', it must be 6:00 P.M.

* Hats: Female Crackheads: The Bucket Style Hat with a flower ontop. The Flower is a little stale. Now the material of choice is denim. Disclaimer: Many women do their gardening in Denim Hats, but if I see you at the corner store wit some "20/20" in your hand, I know you hittin that pipe. Male Crackheads: Any hat that straps is sufficient. Fitted caps add more sweat and arent as easy to take off as strap hats are. Male crackheads tend to take off their hats many times during the day. They are mostly seen in Fishing, Negro League and Newport Cigarette hats.

* Vehicles: Vehicles of choice....... Chevrolet Corsicas, Plymouth "K" Cars and convertible Dodge LeBarons. The LeBaron's bring back memories of the old days for crackheads. Crackheads tend to gather and fellowship around older droptop models of cars.

* Jeans: Crackheads never wear BLUE jeans. Either ashy black or almost white jeans.

* July Apparel: Like I said before, ONLY in July do they shed the Sweaters. Fellas may have on a 1987 Ashford & Simpson World Tour Tee or maybe a 1990 Detroit Pistons Championship TEE with the Caricatures on the front. Ladies, you might catch some of our beautiful Crackhead Queens in a jean short set. The white sandles with the jean shorts and the cut-off jean top. The top is sleeveless buttoned down top with denim material down towards the waist that can be used as a pretty knot.

* "Hand-Me-Down": Crackladies tend to wear fake Iceberg Shirts with stretch pants that their daughters wore years ago. Crackmen might keep on their blue "working" jumper but have on their son's 1997 Nike Foamposites.

These are just a few pointers on who, what, when, where, why and how to spot a "pipehead". Next we will discuss the usefulness of a "pipehead".