Monday, April 19, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Time to Check My Crackhouse" Vol. 2

The last time we talked, I told you guys about the characteristics of "pipeheads". Now we move on to the usefulness of "pipeheads" and how resourceful they are

* Car Wash - You'll be hard-pressed to find a detail shop that will clean your car inside and out for $10. A car wash wont "hit your wheels" for $10. Air Freshener ALONE costs $10 in some car washes! Now onto the actual wash of the car. "Pipeheads" can do an immaculate job or ANY vehicle! They do this with a bucket of water, a bar of soap, a brush and a Frankie Beverly tape. NO vacuums, NO big sponges.........NO Problem. I've seen "pipeheads" brush up dirt SO fast that their arms move in a Blurr. LITERALLY. When letting "pipeheads" wash your car, there tends to be a risk. If you give them the $10 early they may get high and wash your car while they are high. OR, they may be "feenin" SO hard that they may do a rush job. This is where their Frankie Beverly tape comes in. The tape distracts them from the "crack" and makes them focus on that woman they loved before they fell in love with "crack". They begin to rub your car as if it were that woman and they were giving her a bath and a rub down.

* Entertainment - TV's, cameras, computers, DVD's. You name it, and a "pipehead" can get it! There are people with dining rooms fully furnished by "pipeheads". "Pipeheads" have NO shame. They will lug a TV in the middle of the street for the right price. The only setback is that unlike other salesmen, "pipeheads" dont know the features of their product. You might say "How many megapixels does that camera have?". More than likely, the response will be........"Dog I just got the camera and Im tryna sell what is you gonna do?" If you are looking for customer service, go to BEST BUY.

* Fashion - "Pipeheads" go for the gusto. Neiman Marcus, Nordstroms, Lord & Taylor, Gucci, Prada or any store you need to go to, a "pipehead" can get you those clothes. You may have to take the "pipehead" TO the store and wait, but he will never let you down. You might walk down the street and a pipehead might stop you DEAD in your tracks and see if those Evisu Jeans he has can fit you. "Pipeheads" have cheaper deals than TJ Maxx when it comes to clothing.

* Delivery - You ever been in your "hood" and wanted a pizza but the store didn't deliver to your neighborhood late at night? You ever wanted McDonalds or Wendy's but you didn't feel like driving to get it? You ever needed milk from the corner store but didn't feel like walking down the street? "Pipeheads" save the day in these situations. Man oh man. "Pipeheads" are truly a blessing. They naturally walk fast so your food wont be cold.

* Auto Repair - Yes yes yes! "Pipeheads" HAVE to know how to fix cars. Either you wash them, or you fix them. It's a prerequisite. The only shortcoming is that whenever you take your car to a "pipehead", they ALWAYS tell you that its the Alternator, the Battery or the Carborator.

* Housing Products - Out of nowhere, you can get soap, dish detergent, clorox and starch off the street from a "pipehead". You might find yourself buying products like batteryoperated toothbrushes. You never thought of buying one before but a "pipehead" had one for $2 and all of a sudden, the health of your teeth became a concern.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

"Nigga: The Word, The Meaning, The Way of Life"
by Salvador Gabor

Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga. How many times can one nigga say nigga? Thats the question many people ask today. Its funny how the word nigga gets bleeped out on TV, yet you can say B*tch, A$$ and D@mn on television. People look at the word nigga as being derogatory??? Nigga derives from the word NIGGER. The actual meaning of NIGGER is dumb and/or ignorant person. Contrary to what we believe, the word NIGGER existed before slavery. Slavemasters used the word NIGGER to describe the slaves. This was a key factor in damaging the morale of slaves. Many researchers believe that the word NIGGER was used due to the fact that the African country Niger had a similar spelling. Regardless of what is said, when NIGGER is said, it is felt as a slur towards African-Americans. Most African-Americans will become very upset and will resort to violence when called a NIGGER. But today I didnt come to talk about the word NIGGER, im talking about the word NIGGA!

Many black leaders say that we shouldn't use the term Nigga. I beg to differ. See, nigga refers to the deep, inner-man within each male. White men can be niggas. Hispanic men can be niggas. Asian men can be niggas. Nigga in the way that we use it today refers to the male species ONLY. You never hear a person talking about a woman and say "That nigga is cute". They might say "That honey is cute" or "That broad is cute" or "That lady is cute". There maybe plenty of words to describe a woman but nigga is NOT one of them.

Let's go back to describing the nigga. A little bit of nigga is in ALL men. That nigga comes out at times, and for others, well.......them niggas just wear it on their sleeve. When you are at the urinals in a public place, that NIGGA inside of you wont let you pee directly next to the next man when there is another empty urinal. When someone jumps in front of a man in line, that man gives a look (not a mean look just THAT look), ....."oh excuse me, go ahead you were first". Thats that nigga in you.

Many people say that nigga and nigger denote ignorance. Not ignorance as in "I dont know" but ignorance as in "I Know and Im a act a fool any ole way". In other words just plain ole "Ignint". What's so wrong with that? We all need to get a lil "Ignint" every once in a while. "Ignince" doesnt have to be a loud display of foolishness. It can be done with one word. Let's say there is some trash on the floor. Someone asks if the trash is yours. You could reply "No, that's not my trash". Or you can reply "Naw SLIM, that's not my trash". A slight change in your response, JUST with one word change can alter the outcome. The guy who say "No" may continue to get questioned. The guy who said "Look SLIM that aint my trash" is left alone. Just a pinch of nigga was displayed to reconcile the problem.

Many environments REQUIRE bringing out the nigga in you. The barbershop, the DMV, the corner store, the car auction, PTA and parent/teacher meeting and so forth. Sometimes, you have to let people see you unveil that nigga inside of you.

Now some people have nigga in them and bring out that side in appropriate situations, and others are JUST NIGGAS. Im not in favor of NIGGAS being NIGGAS. These are the ones who wear it on their sleeve. We ALL dont need to hear you talking loud. We dont need to hear that your mother just hit "da number" for $7,500. We dont need to hear you cursing in public or playing your walkman at a volume that the whole train can hear it. We also dont need to see your boxers. Im sure JC Penney will hire more underwear models if needed. And WE DEFINITELY dont need you saying NIGGA all loud in some restaurant or department store. They JUST started to let "US" in those kinds of places a few years ago. And there you go running your mouth sounding like the COON that you are.

Its ok to show signs of the nigga that lies within thee. Just do it in moderation. And oh.........I asked a question earlier, "Just how times can one nigga say nigga?" ..........47 times to be exact. Thats ALOT of niggas.........(DING)........48!!!