Friday, April 23, 2004

"One Monkey Dont Stop No Show"
By Salvador Gabor

The other day I had my lil nephew in the car with me. He asked me about some random guy that he just felt I SHOULD know. He kept going on and on......."You dont know SUCH & SUCH!" "Man you GOTTA KNOW him!". I stopped and said "DO THAT NIGGA KNOW ME?" "You run and ask him that.........that's what you do!". And again I say "One monkey dont stop no show". Granted he is young, but as adults sometimes we dont realize that "One monkey dont stop no show".

I respect everybody. If you are a star, I respect your status. Stars work hard to get to where they are. I'm not gonna lie, if I see a star in public, I will tell my friends. That's not a big deal. But some take it too far. I wont get into what they do. But.........."One monkey dont stop no show"

Sometimes it doesn't have to be a star. It could be another person you know. I had a friend tell me recently that a guy walked up to him and said "How can I get all the girls like you?". Now I was SHOCKED. Because my friend said that the guy was serious! Well to that guy, if you are reading this.............thats ONE sure way to know you WONT be getting them. I dont use this word but that my friend is the characteristics of a true prankster. And again I say "One monkey dont stop no show"

Now this one is the catch. This is the one we hate to admit. Fellas and Ladies..........we've all done it. You see the one for you walking down the street. Looking good, walking good, just all wrapped up for the taking. In your mind, you've already thought up what YOU think they are about. "Man, she looks like she is intelligent. She probably stay at home and read all day. She probably a good girl". Or how about the ladies. "Oooh he is fine, he probably has a career, maybe he owns his own business, he and his friends probably travel cause he looks so cultured". Please get to KNOW that person. Dont assume from afar. And when you get up on eeeemmmm, check your assumptions against what's really going on. And if they are not feeling you.........."One monkey dont stop no show"

Im not trying to say act bigger than what you are. Just have some confidence within self. People come and go. There's only ONE person that you will be guaranteed to be linked to forever............thats YOU! If you walk in a place and somebody gets on a loud speaker and says "Michael Jordan is IN HERE!"...............walk up and tell em, "SLIM....... IM IN HERE, SHOUT ME OUT!"

An Interview with "Uncle Bub"
by Salvador Gabor

Charles "Bub" Dennis has been around the block a few times. "Bub", as he is affectionately know by his family, doesn't do much with himself. he is the typical guy that walks in your local barbershops, corner stores and neighborhood pool halls and taverns with his "dress clothes" on but is not going, headed or hasnt been anywhere important. I've always wondered what "Uncle Bub" does and what is his goal. I got a chance to sit down with the fella and to see what is the deal with him

Salvador Gabor: UNCLE BUB!!!!!! Man how are you??? Did I come at a wrong time?

"Uncle Bub": Youngster, Im just enjoying this here sun. It's a nice day. You caught me just as I was pressing my slacks here.

SG: Well I'm sure you dont want to do an interview in boxers and suspenders now Bub do ya?

UB: Oh no, just give me one second. (calls his wife).......CAROL. Hey CA-ROLL, fix me a bit of them grits.

UB: Go on now Im ready

SG: So what have you been up to?

UB: Ive been working hard man. Working real hard!

SG: I didn't know you had a job Uncle Bub

UB: No son I dont have a job. I've been working hard at hitting the number down at the liquor store.

SG: No luck on the straight box huh?

UB: I keep playing 6-1-7-8! That's my son's birthday. That nigga aint never been nuttin' no way. I see why I keep losing.

SG: Have you ever won any money before.

UB: Of course son, everyone wins every once in a while. I hit the number for $750 one Wednesday. I took my wife to Atlantic City that weekend. I let her drive up as I took some swigs on that Christian Brothers. I bought these glasses with that money too.

SG: EK's huh. Pretty nice

UB: My wife bought me a pair a few years ago. But I broke em when I slammed em at a card game. Niggas love to renig like its sweet!

SG: So I see that you've ironed your clothes now. They look nice, you must have somewhere important to go?

UB: Yeah it's Friday. All the fellas hang out by the barber shop and shoot the breeze. Might catch a lil air and flirt with the bus driver on her route.

SG: You're married Bub?!?!

UB: I flirt son. I JUST flirt. Now when I start doing the other "F" word with the bus driver, then we gotta problem. That's whats wrong with the youth. Yall take it too far. Entirely! I just say hello and maybe sometimes I buy her a soda or a honey bun. Nothing more.

SG: Ok ok. So what else is going on for today?

UB: That's about it. I gotta cabaret to go to tomorrow. BYO

SG: Bring your own liquor

UB: Yes and no. BYO is just Bring ya Own! Whatever it is. If its heroin.........Bring Ya Own. I dont know much about it but some niggas do it. Just bring it, and dont expect to get it from nobody else.

SG: You have nice clothes, nice cars and plenty of money.........How do you get all of this stuff with no job?

UB: I draw unemployment and a disability check. That serves me well. I just can't go to my dancing night on Monday's no more. Since I draw disability I can't be seen dancing. I used to be on that show on Public Access........"Tony and his Dancing Friends". We used to jam to the oldies and do line dancing and so forth. But since I got disability coming in.........Disability is messing wit Dis Ability!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

UB: Look here, Big Ray and sleepy bout to come get me so we can run down to the crab shack and get a bushel or two. Im a see you later baby

SG: Ok Unk.

So there we have it. Another nigga who has NO job, nothing to do and collects TWO checks from the good folks in our Government. Sometimes I wonder, "WHY do I have aspirations and goals and dreams?". The only dream "Uncle Bub" is having is that dream that he left them drawls with the brown stain in em ontop of the washer and not in the "to be cleaned by ME" pile.