Thursday, April 29, 2004

"An interview with Meshach Malone"
by Salvador Gabor

I've always vowed to myself and those close to me that I would never ADD fame to someone already famous on this site. I wanted to search out people who don't get the credit they deserve. Meshach is a very good example of this idea. Meshach has been working in the mailroom at DuPont for 16 years. He has never had a raise. He has never had a vacation more than a 4 day weekend for MLK Day and Goshdarnit he's mad. Let's talk to Meshach

Salvador Gabor: Shack, how ya doing there?

Meshach Malone: Tired. VERY tired. I can't even half talk. All these envelopes got my tongue heavy

SG: You still lick the envelopes?

MM: How else they gonna get sent out!!!!!!!!!

SG: That's tough

MM: Then I lick all day at work and this heffa I got for a wife thinks Im a lick a home too!

SG: Well isn't she just the freak of the household??????

MM: I don't even want her getting close to me, let alone touching me. I just need some michelob

SG: So what makes you stay at DuPont day in and day out?

MM: The lil bit of change I make does me well.

SG: What's an average day at DuPont like Shack?

MM: Folding, licking and shipping. That's it. I come home and listen to this heffa run her mouth and I watch a Pistons Game

SG: Big Detroit Fan huh?

MM: I prefer the old Pistons. I gotta autographed Satin Jacket upstairs.

SG: Isaiah or Laimbeer signed it?

MM: OH NO. The real dudes.......Vinnie Johnson and James Edwards. James' daddy worked at DuPont. I tell ya.......ole Rufus could lick some envelopes!

SG: NBA Championship this year

MM: Them Wallace boys are something else! Man I like Corliss too. He got some nice haircuts. But ahhhh It's gonna be tough. L.A., Minnesota, the Spurs and Sackamenno are gonna be tough to beat

SG: Do you feel that the age of the "hard worker" is over?

MM: People dont come to work to work no more. I drink plenty of cranberry juice and eat pineapples in the morning just so my tongue can be ready for the day. They say it's the most powerful muscle in the body. You gotta be ready!

SG: What causes this laziness in today's worker?

MM: I couldn't tell ya? Niggas taking 2 hr breaks. I get a half hour. Thats it mayn! A half hour. 30 quick minutes and I'm back to licking and stamping. The real work gets done in the mailroom.

SG: If you could have 2 minutes with DuPont's CEO, what would you say?

MM: I don't need 2 minutes. Give me 2 seconds.........PAY ME

SG: Your favorite quote?

MM: You gotta lick it, before you stick it!