by Salvador Gabor
Close your eyes (well not literally cause you gotta READ THIS). But, Imagine that its Friday evening. Let's say around 6:30. You just got paid. You dont have that many bills and financial obligations to take care of, but those that you do have, have already been taken care of. So you hop in your car. You have about $300 or $400 to BLOW! Free Money! You got your favorite CD on. You are kissing that cubicle goodbye for the weekend. It's a little traffic outside but your CD has you in a zone. Your cell phone rings. You turn down the music. It might be your homey, good friend or that "special" someone. You pick up the phone. Yall are talking. That person tells you about some restaurant or some place yall can go this weekend. You are "WIT IT". Plus you was going to the mall ANYWAY. And you know when we get new gear, all of a sudden we just wanna go out. So you go to the mall. That $300-$400 is nothing to you! You BLOW it ALL in the mall. Well almost. Let's say you blew $250. Anyway the night goes on. You are where you wanna be. You come back from the mall. Now your CD is on about track number 12. You are speeding. You got your CD loud, $150 in your pocket, you just "popped some tags" on some gear at the mall, and you are headed to the spot. You feel like you cant be stopped. You can do ANYTHING in the world. Right? I would say yes.
For many of us this only happens on "Payday". And "payday" only comes once every 2 weeks. And that little bit of money you were playing with is "CHUMP CHANGE" for real. That lil restaurant, that lil car, that lil girlfriend/boyfriend and that lil JOB you got are all NOTHING for real! You are just a regular person in the eyes of many. But imagine, the same story, but elevated. Instead of it being 6:30 on a end of the week payday, it was EVERYDAY. Instead of that Honda Accord, it was a Maybach or a Bentley. Instead of that $300-$400, it was $30,000-$40,000. Instead of some cubicle, it was a Basketball Court or a Football Field. Imagine that instead of an outfit, you bought the MALL! You felt on top of the world wit that lil $150 and that CD blasting in your lil efficiency car didnt you! Just imagine actually being a star with millions of dollars. Imagine how FAST your life would really be going. Imagine how fast you really would drive and how much you really would spend and how NO ONE else in this world would mean much in this world but you. Because you really would feel like you cant be stopped now. You probably almost could do ANYTHING in the world. Right? I would say yes.
So the next time you watch ESPN, MTV or your local news and you see a rapper, ball player or actor in trouble, just think. Think about how they feel when they drive in their car on "payday". You might just stop wondering "Why all these famous people STAY in trouble!!!!" Everybody on your job wouldnt be gathered in Roberta's office talking about Kobe or R. Kelly or Whitney on Monday morning. Understand that if we dont have self-control BEFORE we become stars we might lose it AS stars. Not to take anything away from the character of those that are in the limelight. We all are human. But maybe you and I are just like the superstars that get into an arguement that ends up in an assault charge. Maybe you and I have been driving drunk. Maybe a sexual act by you and I turned into a misunderstanding and one of us gets accused of rape. Maybe Maybe Maybe. We live regular lives. Our lack of money prohibits us from "cutting a fool" like they do. Maybe if you had $2 Mil in the bank you might not be as calm as you are. Maybe your financial status keeps you as the "nice" person you are. The true test is when you are unleashed. Until you are unleashed to possibly cause madness you will never know. If you dont live their life, dont judge it. Im just saying sometimes we buy their shoes, but we dont know how it feels to be IN them. Or maybe we do???
"Men got to get right"
You got to get right. As I have experienced several relationships in my adulthood. I have come to realize that there are two types of males. There are many types but generally they fall into two categories. Real Men and Real Boys. Why is it that men are so afraid of what a good woman has to offer? We offer intelligence, confidence, communication, maturity, and experience. Any real woman knows how to please a good man. How to sooth his ego, pleasure his senses, relate to his struggle, provide him with his space. How to make him feel confident, secure and loved.
Every woman also knows that in order to reap these benefits a man must make it through the “earning stage”. For those who don’t know or don’t believe it, women do appreciate good men. What woman wants to be disrespected, betrayed, belittled or taken advantage of? What women want is clear communication, partnership, financial stability, emotional support, love, nurturing and good. They want their man to see them as the sexiest thing in his sight. They want to be stimulated by his conversations and secure in his commitment. Today’s men are so overly consumed by their own aspirations and needs that they often don’t recognize a good woman when they see one. They may acknowledge that “she’s cool” or that she is “bad” (eye candy), but they don’t realize how a little effort, time, and attention could make them the happiest man on Earth. I have noticed a pattern amongst young professional men. Yes, they have the degrees, the good jobs, the career goals. But they are missing the most important ingredient, the ability to relate to, appreciate, understand and address the needs of a real woman. Why is this? I have my own theory. These young, professional men are spoiled. They realize that they have beaten the odds. They are NOT IN JAIL, NOT ON DRUGS, NOT DEAD. They feel as though the world is against them and they have made it which makes them as valuable and as treasured as an educated sista. They believe that they deserve to be pampered, treated, and spoiled. And they do if they earn it.
The truth is congratulations on making it, but the game of love is one that women cherish and is most effective when it is not modernized. Women want to be courted. They want to be treated. They don’t mind having the door held for them. Minority Women endure a lot by being limited in race and gender. We want our relationships to be different. We have to be strong at work, play the game, firm and convincing. We constantly have to prove that we deserve to be in that position with that title, earning that salary. We have to be twice as good as our female counterparts and four times better than our male counterparts. Men, we need our softer side stroked, our egos caressed, our worries addressed are insecurities made confident. We don’t always want to be the strong one all of the time. We want a strong man to stand by us and for us. To encourage us when we are "doing it" and to check us when we are TRIPPING.
Women are naturally nurturing. We want to take care of the man in our lives. But, most men never see that because they don’t take the steps in the beginning to establish that woman’s trust.
Real Boys do get the girls, but real men keep them. Real boys keep the girl entertained just enough for her to think you have potential to be a good man. But a woman who is dealing with a boy, soon realizes what she is missing the moment a real man steps into her life. Real boys are men who drag their feet. They do just enough to get by. They like you, but don’t take the time to show it. They do not go above and beyond to let the girl know how they feel about her or where they want the friendship to go. They are nonchalant, not showing emotion either way. They have a selfish mentality an “it is what it is” type of vibe. Real boys make it real easy for real men to slide right in. They are kind of like the appetizers before the seafood buffet. You know the crab dip which is good, but nowhere near as good as the Alaskan snow crabs. Often women don’t even realize they have a boy until a real man steps in the picture.
"The Word of the Day"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.
\Cop"u*late\, v. i. [imp. & p. p. Copulated; p. pr. &
vb. n. Copulating.] To unite in sexual intercourse; to
come together in the act of generation.
Last night Ms. Macy's grandson got shot outside the
Circle 7, and neighbors stood outside for 45 minutes,
with no sign of the police. Officer Friendly pulls
up, and all you heard was Ms. Macy mutter "aww copulate".