Friday, April 09, 2004

"Employee of Note"
by Salvador Gabor

Alot of people think that we just pick and clown on people. NO I beg to differ. We here at the Salvador Gabor Project feel the need to recognize those individuals who are hard at work and making a difference in society. Most of us spend time doing nothing. Surfing the net, taking 2-hour lunch breaks and not to mention coming in late and leaving early. But we are here to salute REAL workers

Dr. Cleveland Ginyard, chef expertise

Mr. Ginyard has served in the Morgan State University Cafeteria for 27 years. Since 1977, he has been responsible for all of the tasty, delictable treats the Bears' students have eaten on campus for 4 decades now. Mr. Ginyard specializes in his favorite breakfast meal "The Breakfast Bear". This is a hearty meal for the students who need energy for their upcoming day. The meal includes Scrapple, Eggs over easy and Buttermilk Toast along with 2 Sausage Links (with or without slits in the middle) and a waffle.

Mr. Ginyard isnt the most talkative fella. Yet, he has developed a strong relationship with some of the students. "Yeah I talks to eeem. But dont think Ole Ginyard is gonna give you a free meal or an extra biscuit wit dem Panny Cakes." says Mr. Ginyard. Tasha McAllister a Jr. Marketing Major at Morgan State says "the only words i've ever heard him say was 'With or WITHOUT Slits?'"

Now dont think that Mr. Ginyard is a slacker on the dinner side. His Baked Chicken and Seafood Salad combo is a force to be reckoned with. He also used to serve "Hogmaws and Fat Back Meat" until Maryland State Laws restricted the amounts of pork being used in State and Public Schools back in 1986.

As for life outside of the kitchen for Mr. Ginyard........well there isnt too much to life besides cracking eggs and the sound of bacon being fried to a fricasee on a stovetop. Here's to Mr. Ginyard, a master chef amongst cooks.

The following is a "test run" for the winner of out writing contest.

Salvador Gabor Writing Contest Entry#221
By Blake C. Winters

Primping Pimpin Paul of the 15th & L chapter was being harassed by Metropolitan Police at about 1:30am Tuesday morning. The police had his burgundy Caddy with gold trim blocked in on the corner of 16th & L. It was in front of the Green Pub where he publicly pleads his case to the authorities. Getting out of his car in his burgundy and gold party shirt and top hat was enough to convince officer Daniels to make an arrest. Over and over again Officer Daniels attempted to implicate Pimpin Paul in the local prostitution ring. After every inquiry Pimpin Paul simply replies

Paul: “no I am not involved! And I don’t know no pimps or no hoes ”.

Officer Daniels: “ Then why did that lady in the white fur jacket and panty-set get out of that man’s car and give you money?”

Paul: “Yeah well she owed me money”

Officer Daniels: “At one in the morning on a Tuesday?”

Paul: “Just because the lady gave me money at one in the morning doesn’t make me a pimp! Just because I have a car like this, gold teeth, and matching outfit doesn’t mean I’m a pimp!”

Officer Daniels: “Then explain that perm”?

After the officer questioned Paul’s hairstyle Paul got defensive and quickly became uncooperative with Officer Daniels. Officer Daniels by procedure had to call for back-up. Moments later another officer pulls up gets out of his cruiser and walks over to the scene.

Officer Lathan: What seems to be the problem here?

(Before Officer Daniels could explain the situation Paul yells out)

Paul: "Hey man! Do I look like a pimp to you?"

Officer Lathan: "Book ‘em!"

(Once the police took Paul down to the station he was forced to make an official statement.)

Primpin Pimpin Paul’s Official Statement: "Asking a pro-ho to stop hooking is like asking a pro-athlete to stop playing the game. Both make their living sacrificing their flesh for other’s enjoyment, both are paid more than their service is worth, and both have learned to take hard hits. They know no other way to live."

Disclaimer: Events described are almost true. Names and street corners have been changed to ensure privacy.

Comments from the editor: Now if you’re going to be involved in illegal activities why wear the uniform? I totally understand and encourage the need for the hooker to wear the uniform, its free advertising. But the Pimp, I just don’t understand. Drug pushers would be better off wearing T-shirts with big letters say I SELL DRUGS! ARREST ME! At least they could claim to the judge he was joking at the time. But that perm and that party shirt, there’s nothing funny about that!