Friday, March 26, 2004

"Go with your Gut"
by Salvador Gabor

"Go with your Gut". It's often said but not understood. Going with the "GUT" feeling is considered the best resolution to a DEEP pondering of a question and/or choice. You go with your "GUT" when you really need a breakthrough. You go with your "GUT" when you really know that THIS MAYBE YOUR LAST SHOT. The "GUT" is all or nothing. No "GUTS" No Glory.

So why is the "GUT" so important. The "GUT" is that ugliness inside of you that says "Im gonna make, and I dont care HOW". People often ask "Do you have the GUTS to do it?" People say "Do you have the GUTS to make it?" So I ask you, do you have the GUTS? Maybe not??? Who knows. Only YOU know.

So what is a "GUT"? Literally a "GUT" is considered an imperfection of the physical body. You see "GUTS" everyday. "GUTS" are at the bar, "GUTS" are at the liquor store, "GUT" walked PASS the gym, "GUTS" are at the buffet on a WEEKDAY, "GUTS" are probably feeding themselves and/or eating while reading this. But truthfully its the people with "GUTS" that make it. The pretty people are full of fear. SCARY people. You dont rely on a pretty person in the time of need. It's either too gewey, too dirty, too heavy, too dusty or too dark, wet and slimy for a pretty person. Always go with your "GUT". If you dont have a "GUT", you dont make it. Pretty people are the figureheads, people with "GUTS" are the ones who lead this world. See pretty people find a way to "FIT" into the world. People with "GUTS" make space. Whether its letting out that thread space in the back of your slacks for more room, or finding the right girdle, the people with "GUTS" make it happen.

What to do when you dont have "GUTS"? Stick with that assigned nigga that has "GUTS". Keep a nasty, ugly down right piggly nigga wit GUTS. A group of pretty people cant make it with no "GUTS". Thats why when you go out, the sexy groups of women keep a lady with "GUTS". She aint afraid to tell a nigga off if he's outta line. She's not getting no play, so just cursing a man out is enough play for her with the opposite sex.

People with "GUTS" dont like to be seen on the scene. FOR WHAT???? People with "GUTS" are not for showing off. Their work does the talking. People with "GUTS" dont get the TV interviews, they just give a pretty nigga the script to answer all the questions. "Nigga I dont care what you say to the Camera, just give me the number to that place where you got that Fish Dinner". You probably never spoke to the nigga with "GUTS". Never even stopped to ask him of his name??? But you gonna call eeeemm. Yes you will.........

See........People with the "GUTS" stay in and work through lunch while you go out cause you wanna check out the honies. People with the "GUTS" stay at work late doing their job AND YOUR Job because you was rushing out on a Wednesday to go to a happy hour. People with the "GUTS" got up at 5:00 A.M. JUST to pray for you EVEN before you woke up at 11:30 for 11:00 Service. People with the "GUTS" fix your cars, mow your lawns, clean your clothes, make up your beds at the Days Inn, and work at Waffle Houses BY THEMSELVES on a late night shift. It aint easy or pretty having "GUTS" after all now is it?

BUT.....People with "GUTS" are sexy. When I grow up I wanna be that old man with the nylon sweatsuit and full of "GUTS". Im gonna make my "GUTS" work for me. Im gonna have nice clothes on and drive a shiny SUV. "Tony Soprano" is a man of true "GUTS". He makes having "GUTS" look good. "GUTS" make other people know when you say "Let's go out for dinner", they know you do some fine dining and you probably dont mine covering the bill. Know why........Cause you for the "GUTS" to cover the order.

Caution: Women, you dont really need "GUTS", thats why you marry guys like me. You go ahead and "FIT" into the world and let me make MY space. Oh yeah, I wanna extra pork chop on top of that fried rice if you would be so kind.........'Preciate YA!

Gang Activity
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Turf wars often lead in the news. Talk of rival gangs killing one another, and shooting innocent bystandards often clutters the airways, and locker-side conversations. Whether it is the 1-5 Amigos or Dem Niggas down 1st, there is always gang-activity.

With any factions you often encounter the rivalry factor. There are certain groups that just dont get along. Things may cool off but they are bound to be at one another's throats. Cowboys-Redskins, Red Sox-Yankees, Barry Farms-Sursum Cordas, the list goes on and on. Even as people get older certain rivalries are inherited, you might not be apart of them from the start but if you are a bike messenger you will grow to dislike mailmen.

More hated than the Hatfields and the McCoys, the Messenger-Mailman rivalry began back in the 70's. It all began at Humphrey's Messengery back in 1971. The beef stemmed when long-time Messengerman Paul Lawrence Duvall left Humphreys for a job with the Post Office. His buddy of more than 26 yrs, the late-great Messenger-Extraordinaire (the highest title of any non-Pony Express Messenger) Donald Lomax was furious with Duvall. Lomax felt as though he was turning his back on the brotherhood. Duvall was just trying to make a way for himself and his family.

Nonetheless, Lomax had a bone to pick with that nigga. "Just gonna get uppity, and take a job with the 'birds', just because they letting niggas in" said Lomax in response to the Post Office hiring blacks in large numbers. "Mr. Humphrey is 67yrs old and still delivers on the bike, but that aint good enuff for ya, niggas always wanna fly. You fly right" Lomax said as Duvall drove down the street in his mail truck. Duvall still a messengerman at heart, would not let his pride get the best of him, but there were just certain things a nigga couldnt say. Challenging his loyalty was one of them. Duvall parked that truck and walked over to Lomax and put his kickstand down, a tell-tell sign that somebody was bout to get dirty.

The two men stood toe to toe, towel to bandanam, right in front of Humphrey's, which was diagonally across from the MLK Post Office Pavilion. A small crowd gathered and the two began to rumble. Duvall pulled Lomax's bandana down over his eyes and started rabbit-punching him for all those snyde remarks. Lomax suplexed (body-slammed for the wrestlingly challenged) Duvall and the 2 had at it for bout 15 minutes of good Dukes of Hazzard style fighting. The two left scuffed and scarred and angry as two cats in a well. The 2 never renewed their friendship after the scrum, nor did they renew their wrastling vows. But it was understood, that Mailmen werent sellouts, and might be crazy 4sho.

So if you are ever downtown and a Bike Messenger and a Mailman cross paths, be sure to listen for profanity because there will be some. The mailman may even invite the messenger aboard his truck, but know this, Mailmen and Messengers are like fire and ice, coke and slice, if you have one the other need not suffice, deliveries can be done by 3 or by 1, but no need in forcing gorilla tactics on a mail run. Stand clear like a deer with headlights very near, for mailmen and messengers are like MC Ren with Dillingers aimed at lively-one.