Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Bidness News
by Salvador Gabor

Just a few reminders and tips for today


* You ever had someone look at you and say "That boy gonna be a Cab Driver when he grow up!". Well if thats you, Checker Cab is the place for you. Checker Cab, established in 1952 by Walter Pettigrew is a business dedicated to making a driver outta you! So what, you dont have a license!!!! Who cares if you had a stolen car offense at age 13, Checker Cab NEEDS you! In today's society, we are not raising young men to be cab drivers anymore. Gone are the days where you could flag a cab down in 30 seconds. The cab industry is fading away and Checker Cab is here to hire new interns to roll through the streets. For more info call Walter's son, Emmanuel Pettigrew at (301) 669-7575

* In inner-city bidness news, the Uptown Mutual Corporation of America, has announced that the Hood Mutual Fund interest rate has increased by 2%. Just to give you an idea of how it works........ The "mutual" fund is a "money-pot" that you and a group you choose to go in with put up and transfer to a local hustle-man, in other words "your everyday thief". This money you are giving him ensures that he will steal and rob beyond the money you invested in him. There are two types of "Hood Mutual Funds". 1) Money Mutual Fund. Your hustle-man will just go out and straight up rob a nigga for his money. Or 2) An Asset Mutual Fund. We dont always need money, sometimes we need TV's, DVD's, and everyday housing products such as lotion, soap detergent and "Comet" so we can scrub dem nasty tubs. Anyways, the rate has gone up 2% meaning that its so wicked in these streets, what $20 used to get you can be got with only $13-17. You can put up less and get the same amount or put up the same amount and get more bang for your buck! Oh yeah the reason why it's called a "Mutual" Fund, well let's just say, I dont wanna get in trouble and he dont wanna get in trouble. All I want is my monies and all HE want is his monies, so the feelings are MUTUAL!

* Always remember for any ads on this site please contact the Womack Family @ 301-455-3534




On today's installment of the Salvador Gabor Project, I had a close friend of mines "remix" my Sal's Corner from a FEMALE's perspective..................

"Pottytalk"

The use of the bathroom is an integral part of a young girl’s rite of passage into womanhood. As a young girl we are taught all of the rules: how to use the restroom with a skirt on, which way to wipe, how to flush with our feet and most importantly how to squat. Young girls learn very early that when you are outside of your momma’s house you betta not get caught with your bottom touching the toilet. All types of diseases and germs exist out there. I remember being a little girl afraid of what may happen if my mother knew that I had sat on the toilet. Once, when I had to go really bad, my mother took so long trying to wrap the toilet in layers of tissue, that I almost pooped on myself, which would of been more acceptable than me putting my bare behind on that filthy toilet. As I grew older, these rules stuck with me. It didn’t matter if I was at Church or at the Doctor’s office, or even at my Uncle’s house. “You don’t know who’s been sitting on that toilet” always repeated in my mind, even when I though it was safe! I only sat on toilet at my mother’s house.
As women, we see things that men don’t see. How many times have we walked into a restroom in which someone’s trifling tail had taken it upon themselves to place their unwrapped feminine hygiene products in the imaginary sanitary receptacle in the corner on the floor. We see it everyday, a particular type of woman that walks in the restroom and does not bother to wash her hands, yet fiddles with her hair and make up with those same potty hands. Or how many times, have you walked into an empty toilet only to see piles of you name it festering in an open toilet. There is a such thing as bathroom etiquette and I’m about to break it down.

Rule #1) Ladies, I realize it is the new millennium. A lot of us, are out here raising these boys as single parents. Although I understand that you don’t want to send your son to the bathroom alone, I don’t want no pre teen boy all up in the women’s bathroom. Telling me that I dropped something (my tampon wrapper etc.) . If your male child is older than eight years old, please proceed to the family bathroom.

Rule #2) Pre determine your feminine hygiene products needs. I really don’t want to hear you unwrapping tampons, and removing the sticky tape from those pads. Try not to make make it so000 obvious that you are using a super long tampon with an extra thin maxi plus pad with wings!

Rule #3) Ladies , if u r at work and you know your about to squeeze some brains out, you must be observant. On your way to the restroom, take a look around. You see her walking, but is she walking to the restroom too? Be alert. She can sense things. There is nothing like walking in and here comes someone right behind you. Now what u gonna do?

Rule# 4) If you get caught tryin to do # 2. Be cool. Everyone knows that if u were there when they walked in and now they are about to wash their hands and you haven’t moved out the stall… We all know what is up. Be cool, wait until you hear them exit. Make sure the coast is clear. And plan your escape.

Rule #5) If you know you have to go, Please don’t choose the stall closest to the door. Smells float no matter how fast you think you flushed after your release.

Rule #6)When you have to do a "number 2" and we all do, Please use a toilet cover

Rule #7) When u r sitting down handling your business, pull your pants up off the floor. Try not to make noises. I know sometimes it hurts but suck it up and push it on out. Hint Hint.

Rule #8) I f you see me standing there tryin to get some soap, please proceed to the next sink. I mean what does it look like, three women tryin to wash their hands under the same faucet?

Rule #9) If you sprinkled the seat a little bit, please be courteous and wipe it up. It is yours you know! Don’t act like your to good to wipe up your own pee. And Don’t assume that it is the janitor’s job to do it either!

Rule 10#) Always, I mean always wash your hands. I know sometimes we just want to check and make sure there is no leakage. Or maybe we just want to de-wedgee. Whateva the case, if you walk in the stall and shut the door , I’m expecting some soap action when you come out that joint.

Until next time ladies. Be Ez.